Girl Meets Second Chances
by Wanderlust007
Summary: Life rarely gives out second chances, so when Maya's father shows up asking for a second chance to be in her life what will she do? What other second chances will Maya be given? Lucaya centric but starts off Joshaya. Includes Zaya friendship.
1. Chapter 1

Maya sits at the smoothie counter, tapping her pencil against the blank page of her sketchbook. She is one portrait away from finishing her art portfolio for class but she's stuck. The assignment is to do a set of portraits of the people in her life that captured one thing that she believed defined each of them. So far she had drawn her mom, Shawn, Riley, the Matthews, Auggie, Farkle, Zay, and Smackle. Of course, there is someone else who pops into her head but she pushes the thought away as soon as it pops up.

"So are we doing this thing or what," Zay asks, strolling up to the smoothie counter, interrupting her from her thoughts. "Get your tissues ready because we're watching The Notebook."

Maya hops from her seat, shaking her head.

"Nope, no way. We watched that the last time you picked the movie."

"Hey it's my turn to choose and I choose The Notebook."

Maya shakes her head again not backing down.

"But The Notebook," Zay says, putting on his best pout.

"But no."

The two are so caught up in their conversation that they don't notice when Lucas walks up.

"Hey guys, what's going on?" Both Maya and Zay turn to Lucas and then back to each other.

"Zay is trying to ruin our movie night by making me watch The Notebook for the 100th time," Maya says, crossing her arms over her chest and narrowing her eyes at Zay.

"Well Maya seems to forget that it's my turn to pick the movie and I can pick whatever I want," Zay says, matching her stance.

"Movie night?"

Lucas looks from Maya to Zay confused, but neither of them answer him. After about a minute though, Zay sighs, dropping his hands to his sides.

"Fine you win. We won't watch The Notebook. Happy now?"

Maya's face brakes out into grin.

"Very. Thanks Babs."

Lucas crinkles his nose at the nickname but when he makes eye contact with her he can't help but smile. Of course Zay notices that and a knowing smile spreads across his face.

"Well I'm out," Zay says, giving Lucas a slap on the back. "See you at your place Maya."

Zay heads for the door, throwing up two fingers on his way out. For a second, Maya and Lucas stand there together, an awkward silence hanging over them. She glances over at the counter to her untouched smoothie she has long since forgotten about and sighs. Being here at Topanga's alone with Lucas and a strawberry smoothie nearby brings her back to their first date.

"Want a smoothie?" she asks, breaking the awkward silence between them. He eyes the smoothie in her hand and a small smile pulls at his lips.

"You're not gonna pour that on me are you?"

Maya smiles back. "Do you want the smoothie or not Huckleberry?"

"Woah," he says, taking it from her. "It's been awhile since you've called me Huckleberry."

She shrugs, moving over to the couch and plopping down. "Well get used to it because I have a feeling it's making a comeback."

Lucas laughs, taking a seat next to her. "Whatever you say, ma'am," he says, tipping his imaginary hat. For a while they both sit there grinning like a couple of idiots but then Lucas turns serious. He is staring at her with the face only a Huckleberry could have and she can tell that he wants to say something.

"If you have something on your mind Cowboy spit it out."

Lucas shakes himself out of his trance. "It's nothing really. I guess seeing you and Zay... I knew you guys were close I just didn't realize you were that close."

"Yeah well Zay's been there for me a lot this year," she says. She doesn't know how she would have made it through the past few months without him. As much as she hates to admit it, adjusting to Riley and Lucas being a couple had been hard for her and the only person who understood that was Zay.

"Well I'm glad you guys are such good friends."

"Yeah me too."

Lucas pauses again. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure," she says, turning to face him. "You can ask me anything."

"We're still friends, right?" Maya stares back at him confused.

"Haven't we always been," she asks, but she isn't so sure herself. She can't deny that they drifted apart when he and Riley were dating and now that they aren't dating things feel even more awkward between them. All she wants is for everything to go back to how it was before the triangle but it hasn't. Maybe it can't.

"It doesn't seem like it so much lately. I mean you haven't talked to me in months."

She narrows her eyes suddenly feeling defensive. Is he seriously trying to blame the distance between them on her?

"What are you trying to say?"

"I don't know. I just wish I didn't have to go through Zay to find out what's going on with you."

"Well instead of asking Zay about me, you could, I don't know, ask me."

Lucas shakes his head quickly sensing her change in attitude.

"I know that. It's just..."

"It's just what?"

"Never mind," he says, looking down at his hands. Maya takes in a deep breath and lets it out slowly.

"Sure okay Lucas," she says standing. "I gotta get going." She can feel his eyes on her as she grabs her coat and heads for the door, struggling to put it on as she goes. She is half way to the door when she hears him call after her but she ignores it. It isn't until she gets to the subway that she realizes she left her sketchbook book behind.

Maya's boots feel heavy as she drags herself up her fire escape. She isn't in the mood for movie night anymore and all she really wants to do is be alone. Somehow Lucas got to her like he always does. She knows he didn't mean anything by what he said. He was just being his same Huckleberry self. Still it bothers her and she can't figure out why. A part of her is afraid to figure out why. As she reaches the top of the fire escape, she is all ready to reschedule movie night but the sight of Zay makes her burst out into laughter. He is huddled into a corner with a red and green flannel blanket wrapped around him. A stack of DVDs is on one side of him and a plastic bag on the other side. He looks miserable.

"Aw darling you're shivering," she says, feeling bad that she didn't come sooner. "Why didn't you just go in? You know I leave the window unlocked."

"Yeah and you know how I feel about that," he says, scrambling to his feet. "It's beyond creepy and Zay ain't no creep. Plus it's rude and—"

"You were raised better than that. I know," she says, grabbing the bag while he grabs the DVDs. She opens her window and motions for Zay to go inside.

"Hurry before you freeze to death." Zay shakes his head, wrapping the blanket tighter around him.

"Nope, ladies first. So you hurry before I freeze to death." Maya rolls her eyes but smiles.

"Always such a gentleman," she says, as she hops through the window and then turns to help him through. He closes the window behind them.

"So what happened with you and Lucas after I left?" Maya collapses on her bed, tossing the bag near her pillows.

"What do you mean what happened? Nothing happened." Zay gives her a look.

"Oh really? Then what was with that 'everything sucks' look on your face when you were climbing up the fire escape?"

"Maybe because climbing up the fire escape sucks," she suggests, innocently. Zay isn't buying it.

"You don't wanna talk about it fine. We won't. Good thing I came prepared," he says, fanning out the DVDs like a deck of cards. "Every season of Red Planet Diaries ever."

Maya sits up on her bed. "You didn't."

"I did. Now check the bag." She reaches across her bed and grabs the bag.

"Mocha chip ice cream. What made you do all of this?"

"What a guy can't get into Red Planet Diaries? You and Riley talk about it so much I wanted to see what I was missing. Plus who doesn't love mocha chip ice cream." Maya gets up and gives Zay a hug.

"Thank you."

"No problem Blondie. Now let's get this binge watch started. How about you go grab some spoons for the ice cream and I'll put in season one."

"Sure," Maya says, heading for the kitchen, her steps lighter than before. This is exactly what she needs. Reruns of her favorite show with her favorite ice cream and one of her best friends. She opens the fridge and rummages for whatever toppings she can find. Chocolate syrup, a half empty jar of maraschino cherries and some left-over cake from Shawn's birthday is the best she can do. She has carefully balanced the cake, a couple of bowls and spoons, the chocolate syrup and the jar of cherries when there is a knock at the door. She groans, letting everything spill back onto the counter. It is probably Mrs. Rivera coming to get her spare key because she has somehow managed to lock herself out of her apartment again. She grabs the key from the drawer and heads for the door.

"I'm coming," she calls out, when there is another knock. She swings open the door and the moment she sees who is standing there, it feels like all the air has been knocked out of her.

"Dad?" she finally manages to get out, her voice small.

"Hi Maya. I'm sorry to just show up like this but can I come in?" Maya pauses, looking over the man who walked out on her and her mom all those years ago. He looks different from the last time she saw him. He is thinner and the usually warm crinkles around his eyes only make him look tired. Maya can't understand why he decided to show up on her doorstep and as much as she wants to slam the door in his face, curiosity gets the best of her.

"Sure," she says, moving out of the way so he can step inside. He practically creeps into the apartment, peeking around the door like he expects someone to jump out at him.

"Mom's not home. She's working tonight." He visibly relaxes at that and Maya can't help but mirror his relief. It's one of the only times she is actually glad that her mom isn't home. He moves further into the apartment, his eyes going over every inch of the place. Nothing much has changed since he left and she can only imagine that being here is like revisiting a perfectly preserved part of his past.

"Come sit." She moves past him over to the old couch and it creaks loudly under their weight as they both take a seat. Her father pats the worn cushion fondly, his smile uneasy.

"Ole Reliable," he says still running his hand over the mustard yellow fabric. "I spent a lot of nights on this couch." Maya flinches. She is flooded by memories of waking up in the middle of the night to check if her father was home, hoping to find him sleeping here on the couch. She remembers the relief she always felt when she found him there and how much it hurt the day he stopped coming home all together. She pushes the memory from her mind.

"So why are you here?"

"Right," he says, running a hand through his hair. "Well I've been thinking about you a lot since you wrote me that letter. I know you said you couldn't forgive me but I'm hoping that maybe that's changed. I want another chance to get to know you Maya." He holds her gaze despite the guilt on his face and it makes her blood boil. She can feel all of the anger she's felt for so long bubble back up.

"You had years to get to know me. You can't just pop up now because all of a sudden you're ready to be in my life."

"I know you're upset and I'm sorry that—"

"That what?" Maya asks, cutting him off. "That you walked out on your four year old daughter and never looked back." He looks away from her and a heavy silence settles over them. She doesn't know what more he can say to explain abandoning his family and none of it will make her feel better anyway.

"Maya?" She turns and sees Zay standing behind them. "Is everything okay?"

"Uh...yeah. My father stopped by," she says, motioning beside her. Her father stands up.

"Kermit," he says, walking over to Zay and holding out his hand. Zay looks over to Maya and then back before extending his own hand.

"Zay," he says, taking back his hand and moving over to Maya. "Should I go?"

"You don't have to," she says, hopping to her feet and catching him by the shirt to stop him from leaving. She turns to her father. "I think we've said everything we have to say to each other. Maybe you should go."

"Okay if that's what you want. I'll go," he says. "But let me say one thing first. I know there's no way I could ever make it up to you for leaving but I hope that eventually you can give me another chance to be in your life."

He seems sincere enough and somehow that makes her feel worse. Every bit of closure she thought she had gotten from their last talk disappears with one question that burns in the back of her brain. She didn't have the courage to ask him then but now she needs answers.

"Did you even love me at all?" Her voice comes out smaller than she wants and she can almost hear the little girl she used to be. She searches his eyes for the answer but he doesn't reply right away. His hesitation makes her immediately regret asking.

"For a long time after I left I tried to forget about you and your mom," he finally says, his eyes on the ground. "But the more I tried to forget about you the more I thought about you. I thought about you all the time. I loved you. I did but it's hard to love someone when you don't love yourself."

Maya shakes her head at that. Hearing her father say that he loved her is what she has wanted to hear since she was four years old but he is saying it sixteen years too late. "You don't walk away from someone you love," she says as she moves away from the couch. "I really think you should go." Her father moves toward the door in response but before going out, he turns back to her.

"Please think about what I said, okay? I meant every word of it."

"Yeah but those are just words. I need more than the words from you." He nods at that.

"I know," he says, before going out the door and closing it behind him.

Maya stands frozen near the couch, staring at where her father just stood. She hates to admit it but she wants more than anything to believe him. She just can't. Pretty words can't make up for her father being checked out of her life. It can't make up for all the years she blamed herself for him leaving and how angry she was because of that. Still, she can't squash that tiny bit of hope that makes her want to give him another chance. She is torn and confused and angry. She feels a hand on her shoulder but doesn't turn around.

"Are you okay?" She figures he probably already knows the answer to that so instead of saying anything she sinks down to the couch. Zay joins her and they sit there together quietly. She appreciates that he doesn't try to make her talk about it or try and say something to make her feel better. She's just glad that he's there.


	2. Chapter 2

Maya practically crawls into class; her only thought, making it to her desk. All of her friends are already there; Farkle and Smackle are playing one of their brain games, Zay and Lucas are talking about baseball, and Riley is bent over a huge binder probably going over something student council related. She manages to slip into her seat unnoticed and puts her head down, burying her face in the crook of her arm.

"Peaches?" Maya peeks up from her desk to see Riley's face inches from hers, brown eyes staring back at her. "You okay?"

"So tired," she mumbles in response before putting her head back down. She spent most of last night staring up at her ceiling trying to decide what she should do about her father. Is him coming back a good thing? Or will letting him back into her life only lead to a big disaster? One sleepless night later and she still doesn't know.

"I see that," Riley says. "You've been a Mayafied zombie all day and you slept through art class. What's going on?"

Maya sits up to look at her best friend. Riley knows that the only reason she ever sleeps in class is if she isn't sleeping at night and she usually can't sleep at night if she has something on her mind. But she can't admit that because then she'll have to tell Riley about her father. The last thing she needs is Riley's sunshiny outlook influencing her decision. What she needs is reality. She needs to figure this out on her own.

"Umm nothing…I uhh…"

"Me and Maya stayed up all night watching Red Planet Diaries," Zay cuts in easily.

"What? You watched Red Planet Diaries without me," Riley asked, her face going from concerned to dramatically pouty. "How could you?"

"Sorry Riles."

"It's okay Peaches," Riley says, placing her hand on top on Maya's and smiling at her sweetly. "I don't blame you. But you," she says, her arm shooting up, her finger aimed at Zay. "I'm watching you Babineux." Riley gives him her best death glare before turning to face the front just in time for her dad to walk into the classroom.

"Well that was scary," Zay mumbles to himself. Normally Maya would've laughed but she can't ignore the guilt weighing down on her chest. She hates keeping things from Riley.

"Hello everybody," Mr. Matthews says, as everyone settles into their seats. "Today we talk about this quote."

He motions to the board.

"Those who don't remember the past are condemned to repeat it. True? Not true? What do we think?"

"True," Farkle says, confidently. "History shows us that we have to remember where we've been to know to know where we're going."

"We do," Mr. Matthews says. "But is that all there is to it?"

"What more could there be?" Lucas asks. "We remember our past we don't make the same mistakes. Seems pretty simple to me."

"Who agrees with Farkle and Lucas?" Most of the class raise their hands except Maya and a few others.

"Ms. Hart you didn't raise your hand. What do you think?" She shrugs.

"Remember the past, don't remember the past. Who cares" she says. "We're doomed to repeat history either way."

"Okay, Maya makes an interesting point," Mr. Matthews says, moving in front of his desk. "Sometimes it may seem like no matter what we do or how hard we try to avoid it history is going to repeat anyway, at times for the worst. Take World War I. After it ended, the Treaty of Versailles was signed as a way to keep the peace and ensure that another world war didn't happen again. Did it work?"

"No it didn't. 21 years after the Treaty of Versailles was signed, World War II started," Smackle states.

"Right, so why didn't it work? They took all the precautions to prevent another world war but we still got one. So what happened?"

"They repeated the same mistakes," Zay says.

"But it wasn't just that," Farkle says. "The Treaty of Versailles was only a temporary fix to the problem. Germany wasn't completely appeased or weakened. It was only a matter of time before something happened and eventually it did."

"Exactly, and that's why history repeated itself. They slapped a band aid on a much bigger problem and things came crashing down. So if we want to avoid repeating the bad parts of our own history we can't only look at what we did wrong. We also have to look at what we did to fix the problem. Now let me ask you this: is it always a bad thing for history to repeat?" Mr. Matthews' eyes scan the class but no one seems confident enough to answer.

"I think there are times when history repeating itself could be a wonderful thing," Riley says, looking back at her friends an easy smile spreading on her face. Matthews returns her smile with one that only a proud father could have.

"Exactly Riley because sometimes that just means life is giving us a second chance to change our history. A chance to do things differently."

"But how will we know the difference," Lucas asks.

"Well that's up to you. Life doesn't offer a whole lot of second chances," Matthews continues. "But when it does it's up to you to decide what you do with it. You hold the outcome in your hands. So here's the assignment: Write me a paper about a second chance in history and tell me how it relates to your life."

The class groans.

"You have got to be kidding me," Maya mumbles to herself, sinking a little lower in her seat. She can feel Zay's eyes burning into the back of her head and when she turns to look at him she sees that Lucas is looking at her too.

"Wait a minute," Maya says, leaning forward on her desk. "I thought connecting history to our lives was your job Matthews? What gives?"

Mr. Matthews chuckles a little, looking out into the class.

"Well I'd like to think I've taught you guys a lot. Consider this practice in using what you've learned."

With that the bell rings and everyone quickly gathers their things and files out of the room. But Maya hangs back. She'll catch up with her friends later but for right now all she wants is to be alone with her sketchbook. Pretending like she was okay all day had been exhausting and the only thing that can take her mind off of it is pencil against paper. Besides, she needs to finish her last portrait before the end of the week and if it it's going to be any good she has to start today. She steps out into the near empty hallway, only planning to stop at her locker and then out the door.

"Maya wait."

She turns around and sees Lucas walking toward her with something tucked underneath his arm.

"You left this yesterday," he says, holding her sketchbook out to her.

"Wow thank you." She hugs it to her chest, more grateful than he realizes. "I completely forgot I left it."

"No problem."

They stand there awkwardly, neither one of them knowing what to say to the other; neither one of them knowing how to walk away.

"Well-"

"I-"

They both laugh uneasily.

"I'm sorry," Maya says. "What were you gonna say?"

"I wanted to apologize for yesterday," he says, fidgeting with the strap of his bag. "Things with you and me have been a little weird lately and I took the whole you and Zay thing the wrong way. I wasn't trying to make it seem like I had a problem with you guys being close. "

"I know," she says, softly. "It's okay."

"Okay, good," he says, relief washing over his face. "So how about we start over? Go back to being friends like we were before?"

Maya wants nothing more than for things to go back to normal between them. She misses their banter, their little game, and their talks, but more than anything she misses her friend.

"How do we do that?"

"I don't know. We could go back to you making jokes about me being from Texas and me calling you Shortstack. Or we could go back to us just being there for each other, doing what friends do."

Maya chews her bottom lip, thinking it over. Maybe this can work. They can forget about everything that happened before and focus on what they are now. Friends.

"Sure," she says smiling. "Let's give it a try."

He nods but it seems like there's something else he wants to say. Of course he doesn't say it so Maya changes the subject.

"So Huckleberry," she says, walking toward the exit, expecting him to follow. "Shouldn't you be in baseball practice right now?"

"It got cancelled," he says, easily falling into step with her. "I was headed to Farkle's to meet up with the guys. Farkle just got _Zombies Eat Your Brains 5._ Wanna come?"

"As much as I'd love to crash your boys' night, I have to head home. I gotta art thing I need to finish."

"Okay," he says, sounding a little disappointed. "Next time?"

"Definitely next time."

They reach the subway and it's time for them to go their separate ways but neither of them seem ready to part.

"See you tomorrow Huckleberry," Maya says, taking the first step leading down to the subway.

"Later Shortstack."

They both smile before Lucas turns to head down the street and Maya goes down into the subway. Her day has been the opposite of great but knowing that her and Lucas are finally on their way to being friends again almost makes up for everything.


	3. Chapter 3

Several stairs later and more than a little out of breath; Maya reaches the second floor of her building. She still hasn't decided anything when it comes to her father, but for now that's okay. She knows she'll figure things out eventually. And maybe figuring things out means giving him another chance? Life seems to finally be going her way. She has the family she always wanted, Shawn officially adopted her, and she has the greatest friends anyone can ever have. Maybe the universe is bringing her father back into her life too? She isn't so sure about any of it but as she rounds the corner and sees her father waiting outside her door she can't help but think maybe.

"Hey Maya," he says, getting up from his spot on the floor. "I wouldn't have waited but I really need to talk to you about something."

"Sure, what is it?"

He hesitates.

"Um…could we go inside and talk?"

She glances back at the door, knowing that her mom will be home soon.

"It might be better if we talk out here."

"Okay," he says, uneasily. "I uh… I actually wanted to bring this up yesterday when I came to see you but it never seemed like the right time. But um…" He struggles to get the words out, looking more uncomfortable than she has ever seen him and she can feel her own unease building in her chest.

"What's going on?"

He runs a hand through his hair, letting out a long, slow breath.

"Sophie has leukemia. She needs a bone marrow transplant and her doctors say that a donor who's a close relative is our best option. The only thing is me, her mom, and KJ aren't matches. I was hoping that you would get tested to see if you were a match."

It all comes out in a single breath and when he's finished it feels like every last bit of sound and air has been sucked from the small hallway. She stands there trying to process exactly what he's saying but she just can't wrap her mind around it.

"Maya…"

"So that's why you're here," she finally says, more to herself than to him. "You know you could've just asked. You didn't have to pretend like you wanted to be in my life."

"It's not like that," he says. "As much as I want you to do this for Sophie, I was serious about wanting you to give me another chance."

"Really," she asks, unconvinced. "If you didn't need me to take this test, would you even be here right now?"

Her father gets quiet, his eyes moving to a spot on the ground. It's a long time before he's able to look at her again.

"I'd liked to believe that I would," he says, but she doesn't believe him. She has no reason to but she isn't going to stand in the way if this can save her little sister's life.

"I'll do the test," she says, struggling to talk around the lump in her throat. "I have to talk to mom first but I'll do it."

"Thank you," he says, and she can see that like her, he's holding back tears. She doesn't want to cry in front of him so she turns to the door, fumbling to get her key out. He remains behind her waiting for her to get inside.

"Maya," he says softly. "Please listen to me."

But she ignores him. As soon as she gets the door open she goes inside and shuts it behind her. That's when she breaks down. With her back against the door and tears running down her face, she can hear her father's footsteps as he walks away. It's a sound she's familiar with, one she's memorized as a little girl and it is still just as heartbreaking. But she isn't mad at him. This is who he is, at least when it comes to her. The only person to blame is herself. She let herself believe that her father actually wanted to be in her life. The tears continue to fall and behind her blurred vision she doesn't notice Shawn walking out from the kitchen.

"What's the matter kiddo?"

He approaches her cautiously, like the wrong move might scare her off but the first thing she does when she sees him is run and bury her face in his shirt. He wraps his arms around her.

"Whatever it is," he says. "We'll get through it together."

And that's all that she needs to hear because unlike her father, Maya knows that she can always count on Shawn.

After she stops crying and has taken some time to compose herself, Maya tells Shawn everything. And after she gets him to calm down, she drags him with her to Topanga's to talk to her mom. They find her behind the register counting the day's earnings and before her mom has the chance to even say hello, Maya blurts out the whole thing.

"What kind of man goes to a teenage girl with something like this," her mom says, pacing between her and Shawn.

"That's exactly what I said," Shawn chimes in, his earlier anger returning. "He's shouldn't have put this all on Maya."

"I want to do it," Maya blurts out, causing her mom and Shawn to stop and focus their attention back on her. Her mom sighs.

"I know you do," she says, moving over to Maya and putting her arm around her. "You're a good person and I'm willing to go along with whatever you want as long as you're sure."

"I'm sure."

Shawn moves to the other side of her, bringing his arms around them both.

"Everything's gonna be okay," he says, and for the first time Maya believes that it will. As long as she has her family, she's going to be okay. She's sure of it.


	4. Chapter 4

Maya hurries down the steps that lead to the entrance of Topanga's. She had asked her friends to meet her here because it was time she come clean about what has been going on with her lately. Keeping this secret about her father is killing her and she just wants it to be out in the open already.

"Hey guys, sorry I'm la—"

Maya stops in front of the spot where her friends normally would be, but nobody is here. She pulls out her phone and a bunch of messages overwhelm her screen.

 ** _Honey:_** _Stuck in a student council meeting :( Be there soon_

 ** _Huckleberry:_** _Practice ran late but me and Zay are on our way_

 ** _Babs:_** _What Lucas said. Don't start without us Blondie_

 ** _Farkley:_** _Smackle and I should be at Topanga's at in approximately 14 minutes_

Maya returns her phone to her back pocket and takes a seat on one of the orange chairs. She is actually a little relieved that her friends aren't here yet. She isn't exactly ready to face them, knowing that they won't be happy about her keeping this from them for so long. She sighs, turning her attention to the familiar bustle of Topanga's. Something about the chatter of people and the clink of coffee mugs calm her. Her eyes move over the little shop; a few people from school sit at a table in the back and NYU students are scattered about, either with their noses in books or hovering over laptops. That's when she sees him. Josh, sitting at a table across from a pretty brunette. She immediately feels a sinking feeling in her stomach. No it's okay. Maybe she's just a friend? Maybe they're just studying? Maybe... All of her maybes disappear when Josh reaches over and takes the girl's hand in his. At that moment she loses all control of her limbs and before she can stop herself, she's up, walking right over to them.

"Hey Josh," she says, her voice coming out stronger than she expects it to. Josh turns and his face pales at the sight of her.

"Oh hey Maya," he says, rising from his seat. He seems calm, cool, and collected but she can see the uncertainty on his face. Her eyes move past him and back to the girl. She is definitely pretty and has an edginess that Maya can't help but respect.

"Nice boots," she says, nodding in the girl's direction.

"Oh thanks," the girl says sweetly, giving her a wide smile. "I'm Zoe by the way."

Maya smiles back in spite of herself.

"I'm Maya."

Zoe nods. "Cool, so you're one of Josh's friends?"

Maya hesitates, not sure how to answer. Yes would've been the simplest choice but are her and Josh even friends?

"Well—"

"She's my niece's best friend," Josh says, before Maya can get another word out. Her head whips in his direction at his quick reply but Josh's eyes are on Zoe. Zoe's eyes are on her.

"Well it was nice to meet you Maya," Zoe says, giving her another smile before getting up from her seat and turning to Josh. "We might wanna get going if we're going to make that movie." Josh nods.

"Yeah sure. Why don't you start walking and I'll catch up. I wanted to talk to Maya about something."

"Sure," Zoe says, kissing him on the cheek and heading out the door. Josh runs his hand down the back of his neck, still avoiding Maya's eyes.

"Your niece's best friend? So that's what I am to you?"

"No I didn't mean it like that it's just..."

"Zoe?"

He shrugs in response.

"I do care about you Maya, but Zay was right. We shouldn't be so worried about someday that we miss out on now. I don't want that for either one of us. And that doesn't have to change anything between us. I'm still playing the long game if you are."

This time it's her turn to shrug. Is this really what playing the long game means? Josh going on dates while she waits around for him like some lovesick idiot?

"It's okay if you're not sure," he says, looking her in the eye for the first time. "Because I am and I still believe in someday."

He doesn't seem so sure to her but before she can say anything else he's walking away from her and out the door without so much as a second glance her way. She watches him leave and her mind goes back to their conversation at the Ski Lodge. She let Josh draw her in with nice words and now she isn't sure what any of it means anymore or if it means anything at all. That's why words aren't enough and she is beginning to see that apparently neither is she. Maya goes back to the chairs and grabs her things. She no longer has it in her to tell her friends about her father situation and she certainly doesn't have it in her to pretend like what just happened didn't happen. On her way out she sends a quick text to her friends saying that she something had come up and she isn't going to make it to Topanga's after all but that she'll see them tomorrow at school. Hopefully by then she'll have all of this sorted out


	5. Chapter 5

Maya walks up to her locker feeling anything but her usual self. Her run-in with Josh yesterday, on top on everything else has been weighing on her. Seeing Josh on a date was one thing. Having him pull her aside like it was no big deal and tell her that he didn't want to miss out on living his life was a whole other heart breaking thing. And then running into Josh and Zoe on her way out of Topanga's almost crushed her. But maybe he was right. It's time she stops waiting around for Josh and starts living her life. Still, it doesn't make it hurt any less. She sighs, fighting the urge to bury her head in her locker and throws her history book into it instead.

"Oh Peaches there you are!"

Maya's frown immediately melts into a smile at the sound of Riley's voice.

"Hi Honey," she says, throwing an arm around her best friend and closing her locker.

"Oh don't "Hi Honey' me." Riley's sunshiny expression suddenly turns serious. "Something's up with you and I wanna know what."

"What," Maya asks, feigning confusion. "Nothing's up with me. Why would something be up with me?"

"That's what I'd like to know," Riley says, crossing her arms over her chest and looking at her expectantly. "First you skip out on meeting everyone at Topanga's yesterday, and then you ditch me this morning and make me ride the subway all by myself."

Maya wants to deny that anything is wrong and say everything's okay but she can't lie to Riley; not when she's looking at her all concerned.

"Sorry Riles, I didn't mean to make you feel ditched but there's no big conspiracy going on here. Yesterday I had to run home and this morning I overslept. It's nothing." Okay so it isn't the truth exactly or at all, but she's far too confused to explain to Riley about her Uncle Josh and the situation with her father is another story all together.

"You sure everything's okay?"

"Yeah everything's fine." Maya puts on her best smile. "How about I make it up to you by buying you a smoothie at Topanga's after school?" She can feel Riley's concern fading along with her own uneasiness.

"Strawberry?" Riley's face stretches into a full on grin.

"Sure, anything you want," she says, linking arms with Riley and leading them to their next class.

Art class goes by in a blur and after it's over, Maya convinces Mr. Jackson to let her stay behind and work on her portrait. She tells Riley to go on without her, saying that she'll catch up with everyone after lunch. She does feel a little guilty about skipping out on her friends again but she really needs a break from them. Trying to act like she's fine on top of keeping the secret about her father is getting harder every minute. Somewhere along the way between bumping into Josh and making it to school this morning, she's lost her nerve to tell them and she just needs to find it again. The art room seems liked the best place to start looking. This is where she feels the most like herself; sitting behind her desk with a blank canvas in front of her. She has the power to take whatever she's feeling and put it on paper. Turn it into something she can understand. She pulls out her sketchbook and starts to draw, letting her hand guide her; waiting to see what it will create. As her pencil moves across the page, she can make out a jawline, strong and sharp. She's starting to shade; smudging lines with her fingertips when she hears a single tap at the door. She looks up and sees Lucas leaning halfway into the room.

"Riley told me you'd be in here," he says, stepping further inside. "I wanted to check and see if you were okay."

Maya raises an eyebrow at him.

"Hey I know I'm a shortstack of pancakes but I don't need you checking up on me, Huckleberry. I'm a big girl."

She expects him to flash that smirk he saves especially for her and give one of his usual Huckleberry comebacks but instead he moves over to the empty desk beside her and takes a seat. His eyes never leave hers and she can see the concern in them.

"I'm serious Maya. You haven't been yourself lately," he says.

"I'm fine Lucas," she says, no longer joking around. "There's nothing to worry about."

"Well I am worried. I know you and you're not fine," he says, refusing to back down. "You know you can always tell me if there's something going on."

Maya lets her eyes move from Lucas and back down to her sketchbook. No matter how much she wants to give in and tell him everything, she can't. She isn't ready.

"Like I said I'm fine," she says, going back to work on her portrait. "So if there's nothing else, I guess I'll see you in class." She goes on sketching; ignoring that he's even here but Lucas doesn't move.

"Actually," he says. "There is something else."

She stays quiet waiting for him to continue.

"Yesterday outside of Topanga's I saw Josh with a girl," he says, gently. "But I think you already know that.

Maya's eyes snap back up to his.

"What?"

"I saw you leaving Topanga's right after I saw Josh and the girl. I know you saw them too." He watches her, waiting for her to say something.

"Yeah I did," she says, finally giving in. "I talked to Josh and I got to meet her. Her name's Zoe. He seems to really like her but he also told me that he's still playing the long game. I don't know… I'm really confused." Lucas nods his head and sighs.

"I'm here if you need me or if you ever need to talk." A small smile pulls at her lips.

"Thank you," she says. "I just need some time to figure this out."

"Take all the time you need." He smiles back at her. "All of us will be here when you do."

Maya shakes her head.

"Oh no you can't tell anyone."

Lucas' smile fades into confusion.

"Not even Riley?"

"Especially not Riley," she says, sternly. "Look things are just starting to go back to normal since…" She pauses, looking down before glancing back up at him. "…since you and Riley broke up. I don't want to rock the boat with my relationship drama. Or should I say lack of relationship drama."

"Okay," he says, looking away from her awkwardly. "If that's what you want. But you know you don't have to keep this from her or from any of them." He brings his eyes back up to meet hers.

"We're your friends. We'd want to know what's going on with you, no matter what."

"I know and I'll tell them eventually. I promise. I just need some time okay?"

"Okay."

Satisfied with that Lucas gets up from his seat and moves to the door. He turns back to look at her, giving her a small smile on his way out. She could've imagined that she'd feel this much better simply by telling Lucas about Josh. It feels like a huge weight has been lifted off her chest and now all she has to do is lift off the other one.


	6. Chapter 6

"So how's the assignment going," Matthews asks, his eyes skimming over the room.

The class groans in response.

"That good huh? Well let's change things up a bit; new assignment. Sometimes life gives us a second chance and other times we have to go out and make one for ourselves. Either way I want you all to go out and change your history in some way. Go out and do something differently."

The class groans even louder but none louder than Maya.

"Come on Matthews," she says. "What if I don't wanna change my history?"

"Well tough." He crosses his arms over his chest.

"Tough? That's all you got for me? I'm gonna need a whole lot better than tough if you expect me to go out and "change" my history."

Matthews runs his hand down his face.

"Why must you fight me on every assignment, Maya?"

"I've been raised to question authority?"

Matthews gives her a look.

"Fine," she says holding her hands up in surrender. "I'll do the assignment but I'm warning you; this won't end well."

"Come on Maya," Lucas says. "Changing our history might not be so bad."

"Yeah Maya I trust my dad," Riley says, turning back to her and giving her a reassuring smile. "And I know exactly what my assignment will be."

Maya, Lucas, Farkle and Zay all share a look.

"Let me guess," Smackle says. "You're going to try out for the cheerleading team?"

Riley turns back to Smackle looking surprised.

"How'd you know that?"

"Oh I know things Bubbles," Smackle says, shooting a look to Farkle. Riley's eyes follow hers and they land on him too. Farkle laughs nervously.

"She's my girlfriend. I tell her things," he says, shrugging a little. Riley sucks in her lips, a sad look briefly flashing across her face before she quickly replaces it with a smile. Maya knows the truth behind that look even if her best friend hasn't realized it yet.

"So is that it," Maya asks, breaking the awkward silence that has settled in the room. "Change our history, got it. Can we go now?"

Matthews shakes his head.

"No you can't go. Class isn't over yet."

Maya holds up a finger and waits. When the bell rings a satisfied smile spreads across her face.

"Later Matthews," she says, grabbing her things. She throws an arm around Riley and leads her out the door.

"Come on Riles. We have a date with a smoothie."

After not so patiently waiting for Riley to finish up with her student council meeting, Maya leads the way to Topanga's. She doesn't want to think about changing her history, or Josh, or her father. All she wants to do is grab a smoothie with her best friend. When the girls reach Topanga's, Lucas and Zay are already there deep in conversation about something. They are so into whatever they're talking about that they don't seem to notice the girls walk in.

"Hey guys," Riley says, coming up behind them and resting a hand on either boy's shoulder. "Whatcha talkin' about?"

Both of them jump, looking up at Riley and then to Maya. Zay regains his composure but Lucas seems to be at a loss for words.

"Uhhh…"

"Baseball," Zay cuts in effortlessly. "We were talking about baseball."

Maya's eyes narrow. "That seemed like a pretty serious conversation about baseball."

"Yeah well we have a pretty serious game against Einstein Academy coming up. It's never too early to go over plays, right Lucas," Zay says elbowing him in the ribs.

"Uh…right."

Maya eyes both boys suspiciously before shrugging and plopping down in the empty chair, closest to Zay. It's obvious that they're hiding something but hey so is she. Riley follows her lead and takes a seat in the chair across from her, closest to Lucas.

"So we already know what I'm doing for the history assignment," Riley says. "What about you guys?"

Riley asks the question to the group but it seems like she's directing it at Lucas because her eyes settle on him. He returns Riley's gaze with a look Maya can't quite read.

"Um…not yet," he says, throwing a quick look Maya's way. Riley also looks at her before she and Lucas share a look. Maya senses that something is going on but the moment passes so quickly, she thinks that maybe she imagined it.

"Well what about you Maya," Riley asks, directing her attention to her. She shrugs.

"I'm fine with the way things are. Why change anything?"

"Really," Lucas asks. "There's nothing you'd want to go back and do differently?"

He's looking at her the way he used to; in the way that makes everything seem to fade away except for them. It makes it hard for her to remember that things are different now.

"Nope," she says, bringing herself back to reality. Lucas looks a little disappointed and she isn't sure what he expected her to say. Of course there are things that she'd go back and change if she could, but if she's learned anything it's that some things can't be changed.

"Who wants a smoothie," she says, getting to her feet, trying to escape the weird energy that's taking over the room. "I'm buying."

She gives Zay a light pat on the back.

"Hey Babs, wanna come help me carry them back?"

"I'll go with you," Lucas says, hopping up before Zay can answer. She looks to Zay hoping that he'll offer to go with her instead and give her a way out but he just nods for her to go ahead.

"Sure okay," she says turning to Lucas.

They reach the smoothie counter and she puts in their order; two strawberry smoothies for her and Riley, a raspberry smoothie for Lucas and a blueberry smoothie for Zay. When she takes out her money to pay he stops her.

"I've got it," he says, pulling out his wallet.

"No you put that money away right now Huckleberry."

"It's okay Maya. I want to."

Before she can stop him, he is handing money over to the waitress behind the counter and Maya reluctantly tucks her money back into her pocket.

"Thanks," she says, smiling up at him and he smiles back.

"You two are such a cute couple," the waitress says, handing Lucas his change.

Maya's eyes widened. She risks a peek at Lucas, but he seems amused by the whole thing.

"Oh no…We're not—"

She struggles to get out an explanation but the waitress has already walked away. She turns back to Lucas, hoping that they can laugh the whole thing off but he no longer seems amused. Instead he looks as uncomfortable as she feels and for some reason seeing that look on his face hurts a little. He has a way of doing that; making her feel things she doesn't want to feel.

"So I wonder what Zay's going to do for his assignment," he says, moving on from the awkwardness. She looks over at him, appreciating the change of subject.

"Probably a do over of the ballet class disaster," she says, laughing a little to herself.

"Ballet class disaster?"

She sucks in her lips. Zay made her promise not to tell anyone about it but she figured he would have at least told Lucas. She's surprised that he didn't.

"I think I've said too much already," she says, glancing back at Zay. "But I was there and let's just say it wasn't pretty."

He nods, not pressing her for more information. Instead he turns his attention back to her.

"So what about you," he says. "There's nothing you want to change so what are you going to do for your assignment?"

She shrugs, turning back to the counter.

"I don't know. I don't get how Matthews expects us to change something that's already happened."

"I don't think it's about us actually changing the past," he says, leaning forward on the counter, leaning closer to her. "Maybe it's about realizing that what happened before doesn't have to decide what happens now."

Sure that makes sense to her but what happened in the past does matter. Her past is filled with more than her fair share of bad things and she doesn't want to be forced think about any of it.

"Maybe, but don't you think that sometimes the best thing we could do is to just let go and move on."

"I used to," he says. "But like Mr. Matthews said, some things are worth fighting for. I believe that sometimes you have to fight for the things you never thought you could have."

She smiles at that.

"Sounds like you already know what you're doing for your assignment."

"I might," he says, returning her smile with his own.

The waitress comes back with their order, setting the four smoothies in front of them. Lucas grabs a strawberry smoothie along with his raspberry one, while she grabs the rest. When they get back to their friends, Zay's sitting in Maya's seat while Riley remains on the other side of the coffee table. The only seats left are the two on the couch.

"What are you doing," she asks, handing Zay his smoothie.

"I don't know what you mean," he says, looking up at her as innocently as he can but she isn't falling for it. He knows exactly what he's doing. She looks over at Lucas, who has already taken his original seat and has placed the strawberry smoothie in front of the empty spot next to him.

"Here you go Honey," she says, walking over and handing Riley her smoothie. She turns back and takes a seat next to Lucas.

Thank you Maya," Riley says, grinning.

"Yeah, thanks Blondie," Zay says.

"Oh don't thank me. This was all Ranger Rick," she says, motioning next to her.

"Thank you Ranger Rick," Riley and Zay say in unison and they all laugh. After the last couple of days she's had, this is all she needs. She sits back content, but then she feels her phone buzz in her pocket. She pulls it out and a message from her mom pops up.

 **Mom: Baby girl I need you to come home. It's important.**

Maya stares down at her phone for a long time. Her mind races with possibilities of what her mom's message could be about and none of them are good.

"Maya you okay?"

She looks up to see Zay, Lucas and Riley all staring at her.

"Yeah but I gotta go," she says, getting up from her seat. "My mom needs me to come home."

She moves toward the door without another word.

"Do you want us to walk with you," Lucas calls after her.

"No that's okay. I'll see you guys later," she says, going out the door before any of them could follow her. She knows they're probably worried but she'll have to explain later.

* * *

 **A/N: Hey guys so I updated this chapter and changed it a little. Mostly the same but I edited some things. Hope you guys enjoy! :)**


	7. Chapter 7

Maya has never thought of herself as being someone who worries, but her walk home is proving her wrong. All she can do is worry; her mind turning over one bad thought over another. When she walks into her apartment, the sight of her mom sitting on the couch, waiting for her only makes her heart beat faster.

"Okay just tell me, how bad is it? Is Sophie okay? What's going on?"

The questions come out all at once before she can stop herself.

"Come here baby girl," her mom says, patting the cushion beside to her. Maya goes and takes a seat next to her mom.

"I talked to your father today," she says. "He gave me the address to the lab where we can get you tested. We should have the results in a couple of days and if all goes well, we'll head upstate to the hospital."

"And what about Sophie? Is she okay?"

Her mom's eyes move to the worn couch cushion.

"She's hanging in there," she says, gently. "But things aren't looking too good right now."

Maya lets out the breath she's been holding in since she walked through the door. Everything is happening so fast and she still hasn't told her friends. She stands up, it all suddenly becoming too much for her.

"I need to go," she says, moving toward the door. Her mom gets up, following behind her.

"Not so fast," she says, taking her by the shoulders and looking her over. "Are you okay?"

"I am," she says. "I promise."

The words come out half-heartedly and her mom doesn't seem any more convinced that she's fine than Maya does. Still, her mom stares back at her like she's the proudest she's ever been.

"Maya Penelope Hart, you are one of the most amazing people I know," she says. "Don't you ever forget it."

She kisses Maya on the cheek before letting her hands fall from her shoulders and stepping back. Maya's eyes blur behind tears and she pulls her mom into a quick hug before turning to go out the door. Before heading down, she sends a quick text to her friends telling them to meet her in the bay window.

* * *

She's been standing outside of Riley's fire escape for the past fifteen minutes, trying to convince herself to go up. She can do this. She has to do this. It's now or never and never isn't an option.

"Seems like you've been standing out here for a while."

Maya turns to see Zay walking up to her from across the street.

She turns back to the fire escape.

"Maybe," she says, looking down, pretending to study her nails.

"May I ask why?"

"Nope." She drops her hand and steps up to the ladder. "Maybe we should just go up."

Zay moves over to her carefully.

"Does this have anything to do with your dad," he asks gently, stopping her with his words. She turns back to him and sighs. She doesn't know how he does it but somehow he always knows exactly what is bothering her.

"Yeah," she says. "He was waiting for me outside my apartment the other day. Seems like trying to be the father of the year wasn't exactly the reason he showed up, but I'll explain everything when we get up there. I don't wanna have to say this twice."

Zay nods.

"Okay after you," he says, motioning for her to lead the way. When they make it up to the window, she hesitates to go in. She has a pretty good idea of how this will go and she just isn't ready for it.

"It'll be okay," Zay says behind her. "I've got your back. We all do."

She knows this isn't going to be easy but Zay's words give her the little push that she needs. Taking in a deep breath, she sticks her head through the window, in between where Smackle and Farkle are sitting.

"Sorry to keep you guys waiting," she says, climbing through once the two of them have moved to make room for her. Zay is right behind her. Smackle and Farkle both sit back down and Zay mouths 'You got this' before he takes a seat next to Lucas. Lucas notices Zay's gesture and he gives him a strange look before turning his attention back to her. She looks to the rest of her friends, each of them watching her, waiting for her to tell them why she has asked them there. The problem is she doesn't know where to start. Every time she tries to open her mouth to say the words she just can't get them to come out.

"What's going on Maya," Farkle asks, and she can hear the worry in his voice. Next to Riley, there's something about Farkle that makes her want to protect him and she hates being responsible for that worried look on his face.

"Okay so this isn't a big deal," she says, trying to sound as calm as possible. "But my dad came to see me and—"

"What," Riley says, standing up and moving over to her. "You haven't seen your dad in over a year. How is this not a big deal?"

"Yeah Maya," Lucas says, "That seems like a pretty big deal to me. When did you see him?"

"A few days ago," she says, not being able to look either of them in the eye.

"Why didn't you tell me," Riley says, taking Maya's hands in hers. "I'm your best friend. You can tell me anything." She brings her eyes up to Riley's, her guilt sitting heavy on her chest.

"I know that," she says, her eyes automatically moving to Lucas and the rest of her friends. "But I needed some time to wrap my head around it."

"We could've helped you do that," Riley says, bringing Maya's attention back to her. "I thought we were done keeping secrets from each other?"

Maya opens her mouth to speak but what can she say? Keeping secrets nearly tore them apart last year and the last thing she wants is for her secrets to put a wedge between them again. They had promised not to keep things from each other anymore and she was failing at it.

"I think I get it," Smackle says, breaking the tension and coming to stand beside her and Riley. "Maya isn't the best at sharing her feelings; we're similar in that way. A group as close as ours doesn't make it any easier."

She turns to Smackle giving her a grateful smile. Somehow Smackle managed to explain how she feels better than she ever could. She turns back to the rest of the group.

"Look I wanted to tell you guys, I just didn't know how."

"It's okay," Farkle says, coming to stand next to Smackle. "We're just glad you're telling us now. Right guys?"

Everyone nods seeming to relax but she can't relax just yet.

"Before we start hugging it out and singing Kumbaya, there's something else I need to tell you guys."

The group goes quiet, waiting for her to continue.

"The reason my father came to see me is because my little sister Sophie has cancer. She needs a bone marrow transplant and he wants me to get tested to see if I'm a match."

Before she can get another word out, Riley's arms are around her. When she lets go, Lucas comes over and places a hand on her shoulder.

"Are you okay," he asks, his eyes somehow holding her steady.

"I am."

"So are you going to do it," he asks his eyes still on her. Maya nods.

"Whatever issues I have with my dad shouldn't stop me from doing this for Sophie. I won't let it."

Lucas smiles.

"You're pretty amazing, you know that."

She smiles back at him, losing herself in his eyes like she always seems to before realizing that their friends are watching them. She pulls herself out of it, turning back to the group.

"So that's everything," Riley asks. "No more secrets?"

Maya throws a quick glance Lucas' way. She promised him that she'd tell Riley about Josh but she really doesn't want to do that in front of the whole group. Besides, Josh having a girlfriend is nothing compared to what is going on with her father. Now that everyone knows about that, she can breathe a little easier.

"That's everything," she says, promising herself that she'll tell Riley the whole truth later.

"Now can we hug it out and sing Kumbaya," Zay asks, walking over to her, holding his arms out wide.

Maya shakes her head. "You do know I was kidding about that right?"

Zay and the rest of the group look at each other, huge smiles spreading on their faces. She knows what's coming and before she makes her getaway, they're all throwing their arms around her, trapping her between them.

"Kumbaya my lord, Kumbaya," they all sang, swaying back and forth in unison. Maya can't help but laugh. This is the best group of weirdos she's ever known and she's glad to have them as her friends.


	8. Chapter 8

"Maya Hart?"

Maya glances up from studying her nails and lets out a breath, relieved at finally being called. Her mom had taken the morning off to bring her to the lab and she along with Riley had been sitting in the waiting room with her for almost an hour.

"Right here," Maya says, standing. She glances back at Riley and her mom, who stand along with her and follow her as she moves over to the lab tech. The tech holds open the door leading off into the back and they all trail behind him as he leads the way into a small exam room.

"You can have a seat," he says, motioning over to the exam table. "I'll draw a little blood and then you can be on your way."

"Draw blood," Riley stammers, inching closer to Maya's mom. "As in with a needle?"

"Riles, it's okay," she says. "You can wait outside if you want. I'll be fine."

Riley shakes her head.

"No I came here to support my best friend and that's what I'm gonna do."

She rushes over to her side, determination on her face. Riley takes her hand but as soon as she sees the needle she buries her face into Maya's shoulder.

"Are you okay Peaches," Riley mumbles from Maya's shirt.

"Yeah doing great Riles," she says, shaking her head a little. She glances over at her mom who is trying to hold back a laugh.

"Okay Miss Hart," the lab tech says, arranging his supplies next to her. "This won't take but a minute."

He moves quickly and before she knows it, he already has the needle in her arm and she watches as a small tube fills with her blood.

"Is he done yet?"

Riley glances up and as soon as her eyes land on the tube of blood she immediately brings her face back down to Maya's shirt. She's holding onto to her hand so tight that Maya doesn't know what hurts more, her hand or the needle in her arm.

"I love you Riles but I can't feel my fingers," she says, pulling her hand from Riley's death grip. The tech shakes his head in amusement.

"Okay all done," he says, removing the needle and covering her arm with a cotton ball and a bandage.

"You hear that Honey," she says, gently. "He's all done. You can lift your head now."

Riley slowly raises her head, peeking up from Maya's shirt and when she sees that everything was okay she happily links her arm with Maya's.

"See Maya that wasn't so bad."

She rolls her eyes.

"Sure, whatever you say," she says, patting Riley on the head.

"So, what now," her mom asks, moving over to the girls. "When will we know something?"

"Well we'll run the tests and as soon as we know something, you'll know something. Just give it a couple of days."

"Okay we can do that," her mom says, trying to sound optimistic. "Right, Maya?"

She can feel Riley's eyes on her as she nods.

"Right," she says, trying her best to sound confident. She can wait a couple days; she just hopes that Sophie can too.

"Okay I have to get to work," her mom says, looking down at her watch as they walk out of the building. "I'll probably be home late so I'll see you tonight baby girl."

She kisses Maya on top of her head.

"And what about me," Riley says, her arms outstretched as wide as her smile.

"Okay you too Sunshine," her mom says, pulling Riley into a hug with her and Maya. "Now I really have to get to work."

She breaks away from the girls, running a hand over Maya's hair before taking off down the street. When her mom is out of sight, Riley turns to her.

"If we leave now we'll have enough time to get to school before our next class starts."

"Yeah, no," she says, smiling mischievously. "I have a better idea."

Riley looks at her like she doesn't like where this was going.

"And what's your great idea," Riley asks.

"We don't go."

"You mean skip class?"

"It's not skipping if we have notes to be out, which we do. We have a free pass to take the day off. We'd be crazy not to."

Riley pauses thinking it over.

"Okay," she finally says. "I guess one day won't hurt. What do you wanna do?"

"Before we do anything I need food ASAP. If not it ain't gonna be pretty."

"Yeah, Hangry Maya gives me nightmares," Riley says, shuddering a little. "How about we stop at my house, grab something to eat and then figure out the rest there?"

"Sounds good to me."

The girls think that taking the subway will be quicker but the ride seems longer than usual and her stomach grumbles the whole way. By the time they make it to Riley's, she is on the edge of starvation. As soon as the girls walk through the door, she makes a beeline for the fridge but stops short at the sight of Josh sitting on the couch. She has to fight the urge to turn around and go back out the door.

"Uncle Josh," Riley exclaims, plopping down to next to him. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh well you know," he says, briefly looking over to where Maya still stands at the door. "Just finishing up some laundry."

He turns back to Riley.

"Better question is what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in school?"

"Yeah well me and Maya—"

"Are taking a day off," she says, cutting Riley off before she can say anything else. She hadn't talked to Josh since their run in at Topanga's and she doesn't want their first conversation since then to be about her messy complicated life.

"C'mon Riles, let's let Josh get back to his laundry," she says, moving toward the hallway leading off into Riley's room.

"But I thought you were hungry?"

"Guess I'm not as hungry as I thought I was," she says, desperate to get out.

Riley gives her a suspicious look but doesn't question her.

"Sure," she says, rising from the couch. "Later, Uncle Josh."

Once in Riley's room, Maya heads straight for the bay window.

"Well that was weird," Riley says, sitting down next to her. She can feel Riley's eyes on her, waiting for an explanation.

"Yeah well things have been a little weird between me and Josh lately."

"Since when," Riley asks. "The last time I saw you two everything seemed fine, better than fine."

"Things change," she says, running a hand through her hair. "Truth is, the reason I bailed on meeting you guys at Topanga's the other day was because I ran into Josh while he was on a date. With everything going on with my dad I just couldn't face you guys after that."

Riley nods, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, just a little confused."

"So what does that mean for you and Josh?"

Maya shrugs. As far as she knows, Josh is still playing the long game but she isn't so sure that's what she wants anymore. Not if it means she's going to be a second choice.

"Who knows? I guess I still have to figure that out."

"You will Peaches," Riley says. "Life has a way of making everything work out the way it's supposed to."

"We'll see," she says, smiling a little. She appreciates Riley's optimism even if she doesn't necessarily agree. Her life sure doesn't seem to be working out the way it's supposed to and if it is then life has some serious explaining to do.

"Can I come in?"

The girls look up and see Josh standing in the doorway. Riley looks to her, probably waiting for her to say it's okay for him to come in but she simply shrugs.

"Of course you can," Riley says, turning back to Josh.

He hesitates before taking a small step into the room.

"Well I was about to head out but I was wondering if I could get a minute with Maya?"

Riley looks to her again, waiting for her answer.

"Sure okay," she says. She gives Riley a reassuring look and Riley stands, walking past Josh to the door.

"I'll be in the kitchen if you need me."

Once Riley is gone, Josh comes and sits beside her.

"So…" he says.

"So…" she repeats back.

They sit for a while, neither one of them saying anything and suddenly she feels like she can't sit another second. The bay window has always been a sacred place for her and Riley, and something about being here with Josh puts her on edge. She gets up and moves to stand in front of him which seem to surprise him. He stares at her for a second, taking in the distance between them.

"Look I just wanted to apologize," he finally says. "I should have told you about Zoe sooner."

Hearing him say Zoe's name hurts more than she ever expected but she keeps a straight face, determined not to show it.

"It's fine," she says. "You live your life, I live mine. Isn't that how this thing works?"

"Yeah it's supposed to," he says. "But I wish you didn't have to find out about me 'living my life' the way you did."

"Yeah, you and me both," she mumbles under her breath.

He laughs a little at that, an amused smile pulling at his mouth, as if she's the same silly kid who used to jump on his back. Still, she tries to play it cool; tries to smile back but it falls flat. She just can't bring herself to fake it anymore.

"So what does this mean for us," she asks.

"We can keep playing the long game," he suggests, uncertainly. "If that's what you want."

"Is that what you want?"

There is a long pause before he answers.

"All I want is for you to be in my life no matter what," he says. "Whether that means we end up together someday or not."

She stares at him not really sure how to respond. He seems far less confused than she is and the possibility of someday seems to be getting farther and farther away. He stands, moving over to the door.

"I really am sorry Maya," he says. "I hope you know that."

She nods and he turns and goes out the door. She isn't sure how to feel about his apology. Sorry is just a word and words don't mean anything.

After her conversation with Josh, Maya isn't exactly being the best company for Riley. She tries to stay and hang out for a while but ends up making an excuse to leave and is thankful that Riley doesn't fight her on it.

Now she sits on her bed with her sketchbook in her lap, trying to finish up her portrait. At first, she had no idea whose face she be looking at when she was done but now that face can't be any clearer. It's Lucas. She let her hand take the lead and it led her right to Lucas. She can't help but think that more than just her hand led her to him but before she can think about it she is pulled from her thoughts by a knock at her window. She looks up and there is Lucas, as if thinking about him has magically made him appear. She sets down her sketchbook and hops up to let him in.

"Whatcha doing here Huckleberry?"

"Well you weren't at school so I came to see if you were okay," he says, climbing through the window. "I came by earlier but you weren't here."

"Woah there," she teases. "You stalking me now Ranger Rick?"

He gives her a look.

"Yeah sure Maya," he deadpans.

She laughs.

"Kidding," she says. "I wasn't at school because I went to get tested for the bone marrow match."

His irritation instantly fades, his face relaxing.

"How'd it go?"

"Okay, I guess. We won't know anything for a couple of days," she says. "Riley kinda freaked out though."

"Freaked out how," he asks, not seeming at all surprised by that.

"Let's just say, she almost broke my hand."

He laughs at that and a familiar silence settles between them.

"So I saw Josh today," she says, anxious to fill the quiet. Lucas' eyes widen a little.

"And how'd that go?"

"It was awkward. We talked and…"

She trails off not sure why she's even bringing it up. Sure her and Lucas are friends and he did say tha she could tell him anything, but it still feels weird talking to him about Josh.

"And?"

"And I'm even more confused. He doesn't seem too sure about us being together someday and honestly neither am I."

"Why not?"

"I guess I'd like to be someone's first choice for once, instead of their second."

"I don't see how you could ever be anyone's second choice," he says.

"I was yours," she says and the second the words come out she wishes she can take it back. Lucas' eyes go down to his hands.

"Maya you weren't…"

"It's okay Huckleberry," she says before he can get another word out. "I don't know why I even said that."

He glances up at her, his face hurt.

"Why didn't you ever tell me you felt that way?"

She shrugs.

"The triangle was over. You were with Riley. I had my thing with Josh. It didn't seem to matter."

"It matters to me," he says, completely looking her in the eye. "I'd never want to hurt you and I'm sorry I did."

He steps closer to her and for the first time in a long time she doesn't back away. Instead she moves in closer and before she knows what she's doing, her arms are around him. He wraps his arms around her too.

"Thank you," she says, squeezing him tighter.

"For what?"

"For being such a good guy."

She pulls away, smiling up at him and he smiles back.

"I probably should get going," he says, moving back over to the window. "I'm glad I came."

"Yeah me too."

He is halfway out the window when she calls out to him.

"By the way I told Riley everything."

He pauses, turning back to look at her.

"What'd she say?"

"That everything will work out the way it was supposed to."

"It will," he says, "Life has a way of working out when we let it." And with that he turns back and goes out the window. She watches him leave before returning to her sketchbook on her bed. She can't explain the warm feeling spreading in her chest, all she knows is that she doesn't want it to go away.


	9. Chapter 9

Maya looks over at her friends, who seem to be dragging themselves along the same way she is. Riley is the only person she knows who could ever convince them to wake up at 6 in the morning to be at school. Especially when it was to watch what she knows is going to be another cheerleading tryout disaster. Unlike her friends though, rising at the crack of dawn isn't the only reason she's struggling. It had been almost a week since she'd gone to the lab and she still hasn't heard anything from them yet. She's been on edge all week but if anything can take her mind off of it, watching Riley attempt to try out for the cheerleading team is it.

"Is it just me or does this feel like Deja Vu," Zay asks, as the group files into the gym.

"Isn't that kind of the point," she asks, falling into step with him. "Repeating something but having it turn out differently?"

"Yeah well let's hope this turns out differently," he says, nodding up ahead to Riley who is stretching along with the other cheerleader hopefuls.

"Yeah let's hope," she mutters, not even a little convinced that this will end well. Although Riley has gained a lot more control over her long lanky limbs, she is still very much a Super Klutz. Sure, she has tons of spirit but she definitely doesn't have the skills she needs to be a cheerleader. Maya doesn't understand why Riley even wants to do this when she already "made" the cheerleading team in middle school. Still she came to support her best friend and that's exactly what she plans to do.

Her and Zay lead the group past Riley, all of them giving her encouraging looks as they make their way up the bleachers. Zay, her and Lucas take a seat on the second row while Farkle and Smackle sit in the row in front of them.

"How do you think this is gonna go," Lucas asks, leaning over to her.

"Honestly I'm worried." She keeps her eyes on Riley, who eagerly listens as the coach gives all of them directions. "But no matter what we have to support her."

"No matter what?"

Lucas doesn't seem so sure about that but the tryouts are about to begin and Farkle turns around to shush them.

The first part of tryouts is the gymnastics portion. The girls who go before Riley seem like pros; their cartwheels, round offs, and back flips perfect. When it's Riley's turn, she looks into the bleachers, uncertainty washing over her face.

"You got this Riles," she yells to reassure her, the rest of the group joining her.

"You can do this," Farkle shouts, clapping loudly. That seems to be the push she needs because she turns back to the mat with renewed confidence. Unfortunately, her confidence doesn't make up for her lack of skill. Riley attempts what Maya thinks to be a cartwheel; throwing her body across the mat and falling flat on her face. The group along with the rest of the gym share in a groan and Maya's eyes automatically squeeze shut.

"Is she okay," she asks, grabbing Lucas' arm.

"Uh, I wouldn't open my eyes if I were you."

Despite Lucas' warning she opens her eyes to see Riley crumpled on the mat, her limbs folded underneath her.

"You okay Honey?"

Riley gives her a thumbs up, slowly picking herself up from the ground and dusting herself off. Maya gets to her feet, ready to go down and drag Riley out of here. She's trying to be supportive but what good does it do if it gets her best friend hurt. She starts to cross over Lucas to get to Riley but feels him place his hand on her arm to stop her.

"Supportive no matter what, remember?"

"That was before I saw that," she says, pointing down to where Riley now stands. "She's gonna get hurt."

"She'll be okay," he reassures her, guiding her back to her seat. "We have to let her make her own mistakes."

She sighs, reluctantly taking her seat.

"Yeah, yeah," she says. She's trying to take Lucas' advice but staying in her seat isn't easy. He's right though. They have to let her do this.

The rest of the tryouts are brutal and by the end of it she has no idea how Riley is still in one piece. When the gym starts to clear out, the group makes their way to the floor where Riley sits crossed legged on the mat.

"How'd I do," she asks, looking up at them defeated.

"You did your best and that's all that matters," Farkle says, holding a hand out to her. She stares at it for a while before taking it, letting Farkle help her up.

"Yeah maybe," Riley says.

"And hey at least you're still alive," Zay says, patting her on the back. Riley glares at him obviously not amused but then she smiled.

"So do you think I have a shot?"

The group all look at each other.

"Uh sure you do," they all start saying.

"Anything's possible."

"I don't see why not."

Nobody has the heart to tell her the truth.

"Not a chance," Smackle cuts in, without hesitation causing Riley's small glimmer of hope to fade into a frown.

"Smackle," Farkle says, turning to her; the rest of them turning to her as well.

"What," she asks, looking confused. "I thought we were supposed to be honest with each other?"

Farkle's face softens at that.

"You're right, Smackle. We should."

The rest of the group can't deny that but Riley's frown remains on her face. Maya goes over and throws her arm around her.

"Like Farkle said, you gave it your best shot Riles. That's all you can do."

Riley nods seeming to accept this.

"I hope my best was enough to make the team."

"Maybe it was and maybe it wasn't," she says. "What matters is if it was enough for you."

Riley smiles at that.

"How'd you get so smart Maya?"

"I learned from the best," she says, smiling back and leading them out of the gym.

The rest of the day drags on slower than usual after Riley finds out that she didn't make the cheerleading team. She has been pretty bummed all day and by the time they make it to History class, Riley is practically inconsolable.

"Anyone care to update me on your assignments," Mr. Matthews asks scanning the classroom. Everyone remains silent, no one wanting to speak up.

"No takers, huh?" He walks between the rows of desks. "Riley, what about you?"

Riley has her head on her desk and she groans in response.

"I didn't quite get that honey. Could you speak up?" Matthews leans down to Riley's desk.

"I'm a failure," she mumbles, not bothering to lift her head.

Matthews still doesn't hear her so Farkle leans over and stage whispers, "She didn't make the cheerleading team again."

Matthews nods, slowly backing away from Riley's desk.

"Okay, so Riley didn't make the cheerleading team, anyone else experience something similar? Maya, what about you?"

Maya glances at her classmates, not really feeling up to sharing. No offense to Riley but she has a lot more going on than not making the cheerleading team. Just when she decided to have hope and believe in her father, he let her down again. Giving her father a second chance to be in her life still hangs over her head but she just doesn't know if she can or if she even should.

"Umm… I'm a failure too," she says, looking down at her desk.

"And what did you fail at Maya," Matthews asks gently.

"I don't know. I tried to let my father back into my life and it didn't work," she says. It comes out matter of fact but her voice is small. Riley raises her head from her desk and turns to look at her, giving her an understanding look.

"And why do you think you failed?"

"Because I let myself hope for something that was never going to happen."

"Maya you can never fail when it comes to hope. Now I can't say this for everything but in anything worth having, never lose hope. And if I'm being honest, I expected most of you to fail at going out and changing your history."

"Then why have us even try," Farkle asks.

"Because sometimes it takes more than one try to change your history. Sometimes it takes two or three or even 100 times, because anything worth having isn't always easy to get. You have to fight for it."

"But how will we know what's worth fighting for and what's not," Lucas asks. For some reason, she feels like his question is directed at her and when she turns around his eyes are on her. As soon as their eyes met he quickly turns his attention back to Mr. Matthews.

"That's something you have to figure out for yourselves," Matthews says. "Because you're the only ones who can say whether what you're fighting for is worth it or not."

Class ends and Maya heads straight for the exit. Before she can get out, Riley catches up with her and stops her.

"You wanna come over and hang out," Riley asks. "We can stop at Paco's Tacos."

Maya thinks it over. Spending some time with Riley is tempting but she knows that going over to the Matthews' means seeing Josh. He had been hanging out there for the past few days, moping around like some lost puppy. The last time he spent that much time there was when he had just started college and was trying to adjust. Something's definitely going on with him but she isn't in the mood to figure out what. Space from Josh seems like the best thing for her right now.

"Sorry Riles but I think I'm just gonna head home." She can see the disappointment wash over Riley's face.

"It's because of Josh isn't it," Riley asks, not really looking for an answer. "You've been avoiding my place all week."

"Things are still very awkward," she says, sighing. "I can't deal with that right now."

Riley nods.

"I know you have a lot going on." Riley pauses. "Have you ever thought about telling Josh what's been going on with you lately?"

"Sure I've thought about it," she says.

"Do you think you ever will?"

"I'd have to talk to him first," she says, shrugging. "Honestly, I'm not sure he'd even care if I did."

Riley stares at her, her brown eyes turning sad.

"I know things haven't been great between you two," Riley says. "But he'd care Maya. I know he would."

She nods but she isn't convinced. She has always been insecure about her relationship with Josh but now everything seems all mixed up. She isn't certain of her own feelings and she sure doesn't know how he feels.

"Okay Riles, I'll think about telling him."

After that her and Riley go their separates ways. When she gets home she is surprised to see that her mom and Shawn are waiting for her.

"Hey kiddo," Shawn says, pulling her into a hug when she walks through the door. Shawn had been gone for the past week on a trip, taking photos for a new up and coming band. It was the last assignment he got before leaving his job at the magazine. Her mom had insisted that he didn't have to quit but he said that he was done traveling. He wants to be home with them.

"How was your trip," she asks, returning his hug.

"Long. I'm not as young as I used to be," he says, smiling. "It's good to be home."

Her mom comes up and wraps her arms around him.

"We're glad you're home too," she says, giving him a quick peck on the lips. Maya makes a face but really she doesn't mind. Seeing how much Shawn and her mom love each other is the best thing in the world.

"We actually have some news," her mom says, suddenly turning serious. "We heard from the lab today and you are a match for Sophie."

Maya breathes out a sigh of relief. This is what she's been waiting for all week and to finally hear it feels like a weight has lifted off her shoulders.

"Okay so what now," she asks, looking from her mom to Shawn.

"Saturday we'll head upstate to the hospital. Sophie's doctor wants to run a couple more tests to make sure you're the best match for her. And then Monday, they'll do the procedure," her mom says.

"We can stay in my cabin for the weekend," Shawn says. "It'll be fun; like a family camping trip. Hey you can even invite some of your friends if you want."

Maya smiles at Shawn's attempt to lighten the mood.

"Sure," she says. "Sounds like fun."

Or as fun as a trip like this could be. She really hopes that her friends will be able to make it because she needs them to get through this weekend. She needs all the help she can get.


	10. Chapter 10

Maya sits in the back of Shawn's old truck with Riley as they wait for Shawn and her mom to come out of the gas station. They're headed to the Saint Peter's Children's hospital so that she can do a few extra tests and then from there the cabin. Shawn had given Farkle, Zay and Lucas the key so that the guys didn't have to wait for them to get back. She expected Smackle to join them but she had said that she couldn't make it, never really giving a reason why. Still, she had told Maya that she hoped everything went well and Maya appreciated that.

Her mom and Shawn hop back into the truck with a couple bags, tossing one back to the girls.

"Thanks Uncle Shawn. Thanks Aunt Katy," Riley says, pulling out a bag of gummy bears and handing Maya a bag of chips.

"Yeah thanks guys," Maya says, taking the chips and putting them off to the side. Her stomach is a jumble of nerves and eating was the last thing she wants to do.

The drive to Saint Peter's isn't that long and she tries her best to enjoy it. Her and Riley sing along with the radio most of the way but the closer they get to the hospital the quieter she gets. When they pull up, she tries to brace herself for what is coming. She isn't so much nervous for the tests but facing her father and his family seem like one of the scariest thing she'll ever have to do.

"You ready," Riley asks. She can feel Riley's eyes on her as she stares up ahead at the building.

"Not really," she says, taking in deep breath. "But here goes nothing."

When they get inside her mom heads for the reception desk but they are immediately greeted by her father, his wife Sara and little KJ.

"Katy," her father says politely.

"Kermit," her mom says in return. Their exchange is civil but still slightly uncomfortable to watch. That is until Sara cuts in.

"Thank you so much for doing this," Sara says, pulling her mom into a hug. She can see the surprise on her mom's face but she quickly returns the hug. Her mom pulls away first but there is a look of understanding between them. Sara then turns to her, pulling her in for a hug too. When she pulls away all Maya can do is stare back at her, not really sure what to say.

"Mommy?"

Maya turns her attention to KJ who now stands underneath his mother clinging to her side. He stares up at her, his little face a mirror of her father's.

"Hi KJ," she says, kneeling down to him. She feels more comfortable down here with him than she does with whatever is going on up there. He lets go of his mother, seeming more comfortable that someone is on his level.

"Daddy told me that you're my sister. Is that true?"

She smiles.

"Yep I sure am." She isn't surprised that he doesn't remember her. The last time she saw him he was a baby.

"That's cool. So you're here to help Sophie get better right," he asks, his little voice sounding even smaller. She glances back at her mom, Shawn and Riley before turning back to KJ.

"I'm gonna try my best," she reassures him.

"Good," KJ says. "Because I really want Sophie to get better." His little face turns down to the ground and when she looks up at Sara, who is still standing over him, there are tears in her eyes. Before Maya can respond the doctor appears behind her father.

"Mr. and Mrs. Hart?"

Her father and Sara turn to the doctor, expectantly.

"I checked on Sophie and right now she's stable so I'd like to move this along as quickly as possible before anything changes," she says, her tone managing to be both formal and personable. She turns to the rest of them, looking them over. "And which one of you is Maya?"

"That would be me," Maya says, rising from the ground and stepping over to her.

"Okay, well I'm Doctor Tan and if you follow me we can get started."

Riley, her mom, and Shawn all move to her side.

"Do you want us to go back there with you," Riley asks.

"No that's okay. It's shouldn't take long," she says, glancing at the doctor. "I can go by myself."

Riley, her mom, and Shawn don't seem to like that idea but don't insist on going with her.

"Okay kiddo, we'll be out here waiting for you," Shawn says. She turns back to the doctor, relieved to be getting away from everything, even if it is only for a few minutes. She follows Doctor Tan back to a room that looks much like the one she had been in at the lab.

"Alright so you probably know the drill," Doctor Tan says, already setting up her supplies for the test. "I'll draw some blood and you're done."

She nods, trying to take in the moment of peace she is finally getting but her thoughts keep going back to Sophie. She hopes that this will work out, that this will help her.

"So is this going to save Sophie's life," she asks, suddenly. She wants to prepare herself for the reality and figures that if anyone can tell her what's going on, it's Sophie's doctor.

Doctor Tan looks up from what she's doing briefly. She pauses, seeming to be thinking about how to answer.

"The truth, please," Maya says, not wanting her to sugarcoat it.

"Honestly, we don't know yet," she finally says, glancing at Maya again. "There's a good chance that it could."

"But there's a good chance that it couldn't right? That she could die?"

Doctor Tan finishes with bandaging her up before turning to look her in the eye.

"That's always a possibility," she says gently. "But we are going to do everything we can so that that doesn't happen. I wouldn't start thinking about the worst case scenario until we actually have to, okay?"

Maya nods but she can't stop her mind from going to the worst-case scenario. It's what she does best.

She insists on seeing Sophie before they leaves but Doctor Tan says that Sophie is being quarantined until her treatment starts. She's disappointed but of course she understands. On the ride to the cabin she's extremely quiet, unable to calm the thoughts whipping through her head. Being at the hospital and talking to Sophie's doctor makes everything even more real. By the time they make it to the cabin all she wants to do is take a nap. When they pull up, Farkle, Zay and Lucas are all hanging out on the porch.

"I knew I was forgetting something," Shawn mumbles to himself when he sees the guys. "I forgot to bring the tents."

He hops back into the truck.

"I'll just run to the supplies store and get one."

"Do you want me to come with you," her mom says, ready to hop back into the truck with him.

"No you stay. I won't be long."

After Shawn leaves, her mom heads inside to get things settled and Maya and Riley stay on the porch with the guys. They all stay on the porch for a while, Riley, Farkle and Zay doing most of the talking. Her and Lucas share a few looks here and there but neither one really contributes to the conversation.

"Hey do you boys mind helping me move a couple of boxes," her mom says, peeking out from behind the door.

"Of course Ms. Hunter," Lucas says, the first one to of them to answer her. He follows her inside and Farkle and Zay follow in behind him.

Right after the guys go in, Shawn pulls up, but he isn't alone. Maya can't believe her eyes when she sees that Josh is getting out the truck with him.

She pulls Riley off to the side, trying to keep her cool.

"What is Josh doing here," she asks, not so subtly motioning over to him.

"Why are you asking me," Riley asks innocently. Maya gives her a look.

"Okay it was me. I invited him," she confesses. "He's been moping around my apartment all week; I thought maybe this would cheer him up."

"And what about me," she asks. "It's hard enough trying not to run into him at your house but now I have to spend the whole weekend with him?"

"I'm sorry Maya. I guess when we talked about you telling Josh about what's been going on, I figured that you wanted to. I thought I was helping."

Maya sighs, running hand down her face.

"I can't do this," she says more to herself than to Riley.

"Can't do what?"

She turns around to see Lucas coming out of the cabin, Zay and Farkle behind him. Not having it in her to explain, she gestures over to Josh who is helping Shawn unload the truck.

"What's he doing here," Lucas asks, not taking his eyes off of Josh. He seems just as bothered by him being here as she is.

"Riley invited him," she says, finally finding her words.

"You did what?" Lucas finally takes his eyes off of Josh to turn to Riley. "Why? Why would you do that?"

Riley sighs.

"I thought I was doing something nice but I guess I was wrong."

"Ya think?"

"Well this is going to be interesting," Zay says, nudging Farkle.

"Nope," Maya says, bringing everyone's attention to her. "Nothing's going to be interested. So what if Josh is here? We're gonna have fun and enjoy this trip. Got it?"

"Got it," Farkle says.

"Loud in clear," Zay says.

"Yes ma'am," Lucas says, tipping his imaginary hat.

Riley nods enthusiastically.

"We should probably go and help them," Farkle says. Zay is right behind Farkle as he heads over to the truck but Lucas doesn't seem too thrilled about it. Still, he goes over to help too. Maya and Riley hang back. Once everything is unloaded, the guys start bringing things into the cabin. Josh stops in front of her on his way inside.

"So I'm guessing by that look on your face, you didn't know I was coming," Josh says, stopping beside her.

"Nope, it was definitely a surprise."

"A good surprise or a bad one," he asks, his tone almost playful.

"I'm still deciding," she says. "I'll get back to you on that one."

He surprises her by smiling at that, seeming to be more amused by her snark than anything else; which only annoys her more.

"Well I hope you know that I didn't mean to crash your trip," he says seriously. "When Riley asked me to come I assumed you were okay with it."

"I know," she says, her annoyance subsiding a little. "It's okay I won't hold it against you."

"Thanks," he says, laughing a little but then he pauses, like he's going to say something. Before he can, Lucas walks over to them.

"Everyone was thinking about taking a hike while it was still early. Wanna come?"

She glances over at Josh.

"Sure," she says. "I'll be there in a minute."

"Uh okay," he says, hesitating to leave. When he finally does, he turns back to look at them before walking away completely. She looks back to Josh but before she can say anything he stops her.

"You don't have to invite me to tag along," he says, smiling.

"You sure," she asks, suddenly feeling guilty. "You can come if you want."

"Yeah I'm sure. Go have fun."

She turns to leave, glancing back only once to look at him and when she does he's still smiling at her. She can't help the small smile that creeps across her lips as she makes her way to her friends. She doesn't feel so bad about Josh being here anymore. Maybe things won't be so awkward after all.


	11. Chapter 11

"The dragonfly is a pretty fierce predator," Farkle says, leading the group up the trail. "Like this one, the Eastern Pondhawk, it can swoop down on its prey with agility like a hawk, hence the name."

"That's pretty amazing Farkle," Riley says, smiling at him, her head tilting to the side the way it sometimes does. Riley isn't the biggest fan of bugs but seeing Farkle talk about something he's so passionate about has a way of making her light up. Zay and Lucas on the other hand, barely have it in them to pretend to be interested, mumbling out a half-hearted "cool" in response. Farkle doesn't seem to care, as long as Riley is listening, and continues on about some other insect that has caught his eye.

Maya is no more interested in Farkle's impromptu science lesson than Zay and Lucas are but she doesn't mind it. It's a welcomed distraction. She trails behind the group, taking in the way the sunlight trickles through the leaves and how the birds' singsong chirping floats down to her from the trees. It's a lot warmer than a usual day in March but it's perfect for a day at the lake. Riley even packed the group some sandwiches and a few snacks in her backpack. Maya feels a twinge of guilt when she thinks of how Josh had watched them getting ready for their hike. Even though he was an unexpected addition to this trip he still deserves to enjoy it. She hates that they left him behind and promises herself that next time she'll try to make him feel like a part of the group.

When they finally reach the lake, Riley runs ahead to get a closer look at a flock of ducks that are coming in for a landing while Farkle and Zay walk along the edge skipping stones. Maya hangs back, in awe of how the mountains reflect perfectly on the water's surface. She makes a mental note to come back with her sketchbook.

"Beautiful isn't it?"

She looks over at Lucas, expecting him to be taking in the view but instead he's looking at her. His eyes stay on her a second before both of them turn back to the lake.

"It really is," she breathes out. She isn't sure if it's the view or the comfort of him standing beside her but it's the most relaxed she's felt all day. She sinks down to a nearby rock, scooting over so that he can join her. They have to sit close so they can both fit and they naturally lean into each other.

"So, I wanted to ask you earlier," he says, "But did everything go okay at the hospital? You were a little quiet when you got here."

She thinks about it for a moment.

"Besides having to see my father with his new family and the whole my sister having cancer thing I'd say it went okay," she says. It's a bad attempt at lightening the mood and Lucas' worried expression tells her that her joke is a poor one.

"Maya, are you okay?"

She turns away from him, turning her attention to their friends instead. She's been asked that question a lot lately but she doesn't have the right answer. She hates saying yes because really she isn't okay. She hates saying no even more because what right does she have to feel this way when Sophie is the one laying in a hospital bed.

"Looks like Riley's feeding our sandwiches to the ducks."

"Maya…"

"Those were turkey sandwiches and now those poor ducks are cannibals."

"Maya," he says a little firmer and she sighs.

"What Lucas? What do you want me to say? That I'm not okay? Well I'm not. I feel like everyone's counting on me and there's a good chance that I could let them all down."

A lot of thoughts have crossed her mind over the past two weeks but this one is a constant. It's always there but especially today, especially after her visit to the hospital.

"Maya you're not gonna let anybody down," he says. "You can't put that kind of pressure on yourself."

"The pressure's already there. At the hospital, everybody was looking at me like by just being there I was saving Sophie's life. What if I do this and she still dies?"

She turns to him, seriously asking how she's supposed to live with something like that. He shifts even closer to her, positioning himself so that he faces her completely.

"You have no control over that," he says, taking her by the shoulders. "So whatever happens, no matter what happens, you can't blame yourself, okay? Promise me?"

Again, her first instinct is to crack a joke but the way he's looking at her stops her. It's a look that says it's okay to be vulnerable, that it's okay for her to break down if she needs to.

"Okay," she says finally. "I promise I'll try."

He lets his hands slide from her shoulders, smiling for the first time since they sat down.

"Good, that's all I want."

He stands up and holds his hand out to her.

"Now how about we go stop Riley before those ducks end up in therapy."

"Therapy?"

He shrugs, his smiling growing wider.

"Okay maybe I just want a sandwich before they're all gone. So, you with me or what?"

"Sure Huckleberry," she says, taking his hand. "I'm with you."

They rejoin the group and enjoy the rest of their time at the lake together; sitting on a lone dock, finishing off the remaining sandwiches and snacks that Riley had packed. Everyone lays on the dock, cloud watching and talking about things they hadn't talked about in what feels like forever. It's like old times and that surprises Maya because it isn't until now that she realizes that her and Lucas' relationship isn't the only thing that changed during Riley and Lucas' time as a couple. Everyone is still friends but somehow the whole group had become a little distant without even noticing. Slowly though they are coming back together. Things feel normal again and normal never felt so good.

At some point Riley decides that it will be fun if they wade into the shallow end of the lake. The guys aren't up for it and so stripping off her shoes and rolling up her jeans she follows Riley into the water.

"Be careful. Those rocks are slippery," Zay calls out to them and he's right because just as they take their first steps, Riley's foot slips against the lake's smooth rock bottom and she struggles to stay upright. Maya tries to stop her from falling but it's too late. Riley falls, thrashing dramatically in the two feet of water.

"Stand up Riles. All you have to do is stand up."

Of course, Riley doesn't listen to her and before she knows it Farkle is jumping into the water and helping Riley get to her feet.

"It's okay Riley. I got you," he says, leading her onto the shore. Riley throws her arms around him gratefully.

"Thank you Farkle," she says, squeezing him tighter. "I can't believe it. You saved my life again."

Maya struggles not to roll her eyes, just happy that Riley is okay.

"You people are ridiculous," Zay says, shaking his head. Lucas laughs. They stay a little longer, giving Riley enough time to dry off; her hair the only thing still damp as they make their way back to the cabin. Farkle leads the way back with Riley closely in tow. Maya walks along with Zay and Lucas telling them the story of how Farkle saved Riley's life in the second grade. As the sun starts to set, a chill settles over them and she wraps her arms around herself, wishing that she had brought her jacket after all. She continues telling her story, trying to keep herself from trembling with no such luck.

"Here take this." Lucas strips off his sweatshirt and holds it out to her.

"I'm fine Huckleberry."

"Maya don't be silly. You're shaking, just take it."

"Yeah cause if you don't I will," Zay says, also hugging himself to stay warm. She smiles, ready to tell Lucas to give the sweatshirt to Zay but before she can he wraps it around her shoulders. It's warm and smells like him and she imagines that this is what it would feel like to have Lucas' arms wrapped around her. _Wait what?_ She shakes the thought from her head quickly.

"Now was that so hard," Lucas asks, smiling smugly.

"Oh whatever…but thanks."

She can feel Zay watching her so before he has a chance to read her mind, she walks ahead of them and catches up with Riley and Farkle. She spends the rest of the walk back trying to figure out where that thought had come from.

When they reach the cabin, her first thought is to return the sweatshirt but as she starts to take it off, Lucas stops her.

"Keep it," he says. "I can get it back later."

She hesitates, the sweatshirt hanging off her shoulders before pulling it back on and wrapping it around her. There's no use fighting it. He won't let her give it back even if she wants to.

"Thank you," she says. It comes out more genuine than the first time; her thank you not just for the sweatshirt but also for their talk. She gives him a small smile before she turns and heads for the porch.

"So you and the Cowboy, huh?"

Josh sits on the porch steps, watching her as she comes up the path. She turns around to see where Lucas is but he must've gone to the tent because he's no longer behind her.

"Me and the Cowboy are just friends," she says, walking past him and up the steps. "Beside why do you care?"

Josh holds up his hands.

"I'm not saying that I do," he says. "Just making an observation. It seems like you like him."

She's about to go inside but his words catch her off guard.

"Wait, I thought you said that the only reason I liked Lucas was to protect Riley?"

He shrugs.

"Maybe I was wrong about that," he says. "I've been wrong about a lot of things lately." He looks at her for a long time after that and only breaks his stare when Zay walks out of the cabin.

"What do we have here," Zay asks, looking from her to Josh.

"Nothing," she says quickly, taking Zay by the arm. "Let's go over here." She leads them over to the hammock and plops down in it causing it to swing back and forth.

"And what was that about? Was I was interrupting something?"

She rolls her eyes.

"No, Josh thinks that I like Lucas. Crazy, right?"

Instead of answering Zay looks off into the distance.

"Zay?"

"Um…Well…" he stammers, looking everywhere but at her.

"Spit it out Babineux."

He sighs, plopping down next to her in the hammock.

"Honestly, it doesn't seem so crazy to me."

"But me and Lucas are just friends," she says, repeating what she had just told Josh. Zay raises an eyebrow at her.

"You sure? Because if you ask me, there's something else going on there."

She pauses for a second, trying to think of a witty comeback but her mind comes up blank.

"Well who asked you anyway," she finally gets out.

"You did Blondie and what's so wrong with that?"

Because every bit of progress her and Lucas have made in the name of being friends would go right out the window. It would ruin everything. But she doesn't tell he that, she can't.

"Nothing," she says, instead. "It's just not true."

Zay nods, but she can see that he isn't exactly buying it. If she's being honest neither is she.

"Okay if you say so," he says, his "I'm Zay and I know everything" smile plastered on his face. "You might want to work on your poker face though, if you want that to be more believable." Maya elbows him in the arm.

"Oh shut up," she says, rocking them a little. "I don't like Lucas like that." It comes out soft and unsure and she doesn't dare chance a look at Zay after she says it. Her and Lucas have come a long way to being friends again and she isn't going to let anything get in the way of that. She has to admit though that lately something feels different between them. But what does she know? Absolutely nothing is what.


	12. Chapter 12

The next morning, Maya rises before the sun, sneaking from the couch she shared with Riley to sit out on the porch steps and watch the sunrise. A chill still lingers in the air from the night before and she's glad that she grabbed Lucas' sweatshirt on her way out. She zips it up and pulls it over her knees, her feet the only thing not covered. After the kind of night she had, watching the darkness fade into a new day is comforting, especially when it's done so beautifully. She can't imagine any piece of art ever comparing to the way the sun paints the sky in different shades of pink and gold. It feels like a moment created especially for her; a moment where the whole world belongs only to her.

It's a feeling that she wants to hang on to but soon after the sun comes up there is movement in the guys' tent. She braces herself for the company, expecting to see Zay or Farkle or even Lucas, but instead it is Josh who makes his way over to her. The closer he gets the more she can feel herself shrinking into Lucas' sweatshirt and there is no calming the butterflies that flutter in her stomach, no matter how hard she wishes them away. Despite everything that happened, he still has an effect on her; her body responding way before her brain has a chance to. Her only clear thoughts are of the brief conversation they had yesterday. She's been thinking about it a lot actually. Like what Josh meant when he said he'd been wrong about a lot lately? Or the way he had looked at her after he said it. It's how she has always wanted him to look at her. It's how he's looking at her right now.

"Morning Hart," he says, his voice raspy, his smile easy.

"Boing," she says casually, nodding her head in his direction. His smile widens at the nickname.

"You're up pretty early," he says, sitting down next to her. "I figured everyone would still be asleep."

"What can I say? I'm a sucker for a sunrise."

He nods, turning away from her briefly to look out into the sky.

"You know I never really saw what was so great about watching the sunrise," he says, turning back to her. "Not that I've actually seen one."

"What," she asks, a little surprised. "How have you never seen a sunrise?"

"Never had the chance to," he says, shrugging. "College keeps me pretty busy but it's definitely on my bucket list. Hey how about we catch the next one together? You could show me what I've been missing."

She raises an eyebrow at him.

"Uh…sure."

"No I'm serious. So what do ya say?" He holds his pinky out to her. "Next sunrise, you and me?"

She hesitates but eventually gives in, linking her pinky with his. It feels weird that Josh seems so interested in spending time with her all of a sudden. She tries to tell herself that he's just being nice but there is something else in his voice and in his eyes as he stares at her. She can't help but wonder how Zoe would feel if she could see the two of them now. She frees her pinky from his at the thought.

"I hope you know I'm holding you to that pinky promise," he says, getting up from his spot on the steps. "So no backing out."

She smiles, looking up at him as he moves toward the door.

"Oh you don't have to worry about that," she says. "To me there's nothing more sacred than a pinky promise, well, you know besides ring power "

His brows knitted together in amused confusion.

"Ring power?"

"Um yeah," she says, flashing him her ring like it's the most obvious thing in the world. "It's a… me and Riley…we…"

The more she tries to stammer out an explanation the more confused he seems to get and she feels silly for assuming that he would know about something so special to her.

"You know what never mind," she finally says. "All you need to know is that I won't be breaking that promise anytime soon."

"Good."

He smiles, moving closer to the door but then turns back to her.

"Hey you hungry? I'm going in, I could make you something if you want."

She gives him a look.

" _You're_ gonna cook something?"

"Sure," he says. "As long as that something is toast or frozen waffles, or you know anything that can be made in a microwave."

She laughs.

"As tempting as that sounds, I think I'm gonna hang out here a little longer."

He nods, turning toward the door.

"If you change your mind you know where to find me."

She watches him go inside, smiling a little in spite of herself. She hates to admit it but her feelings for him haven't gone anywhere, as much as she tries to convince herself that they have. Maybe two weeks isn't enough time to get over feelings she's held on to since middle school, but Josh has a girlfriend now and letting go seems necessary. For a minute there, she thought she had. Maybe that's because accepting it all seemed a whole lot easier when she had been avoiding him. She needs to put some distance between them but how she will do that while they are stuck together on this trip is beyond her. Hopefully she'll figure it out.

Not long after Josh goes inside, the rest of the guys crawl from their tent. Zay makes it to her first, silently taking a seat next to her and she lays her head on his shoulder, giving into his company. She can see Farkle and Lucas off in the distance, talking about something. The cabin door opens and Riley groggily makes her way onto the porch.

"Morning guys." Riley says, a little too loudly, taking a seat next to her. Zay immediately shushes her.

"But— "

"Shhhh," he says again, putting a finger up. Riley pouts but doesn't say anything else, resting her head on Maya's shoulder instead. They stay like this a while, before Farkle and Lucas finally join them and the group remain on the porch, taking in the view. As they sit, she can hear the rustling of movement throughout the cabin and a syrupy sweet smell wafts out to them.

"Well aren't you all just adorable."

Everyone turns around to see her mom standing in the doorway.

"Didn't mean to interrupt but Shawn and I made breakfast so whenever you're ready, come on in."

The guys are the first to jump up, each scrambling over each other and thanking her mom as they walk past her to get inside. Her and Riley laugh as they get up to join them.

"Thank you Aunt Katy," Riley says as she passes by. Maya follows behind her but stops to give her mom a quick hug on her way in.

"Thanks mom," she says. "For everything."

"Anything for you baby girl."

When she gets in everyone is already seated, stacks of pancakes and plates of eggs and bacon already being passed around. Besides the seat next to Shawn, which she knows is meant for her mom, the only empty seat is the one between Riley and Josh. She sits down reluctantly, trying her best to focus on Riley but of course Josh doesn't make it easy. He spends the whole time, cracking jokes and making her laugh despite her promise to herself. So much for distance. Every once in a while, she'll glance up to see Lucas looking annoyed and picking at his pancakes. The brief moments where they do make eye contact, he smiles at her weakly before returning his attention back to his plate. He's barely said two words all morning and she wonders what's up with him. She makes a mental note to ask him about it later.

The rest of breakfast seem to go by in a blur, every last plate empty. Considering how good the food is, she's surprised when her mom confesses that Shawn had done most of the cooking. Everyone seems full and happy and their conversations quickly turn to how they should spend the day.

"Since it's our last night, we should all spend it together," Shawn says. "Tonight we can sit around the campfire, roast a few marshmallows, eat a few s'mores."

Everyone seems to agree that it's the perfect way to end their trip, especially Maya. Spending a night with all the people she cares about the most will be the perfect way to remind her of just how lucky she is. Lately with everything going on it was easy for her to forget that.

"Alright so what about the rest of the day," Zay asks, bringing her attention back to the table. "We have some time before this campfire thing."

"I have an idea," Riley says. "There's this waterfall that's supposed to be hidden somewhere on the trail. We should go check it out."

"Sounds good to me," Farkle says.

"Me too," Lucas says.

"Great," Riley says, beaming. "It'll be an adventure, right Maya?"

"Right," she says, nodding halfheartedly. After the long night she had, she doesn't exactly feel up for an adventure. All she really wants to do is sit outside with her sketchbook or maybe take a nap in the hammock. She hates to disappoint Riley and doesn't want to bail on her friends but...

"Actually Riles…"

Riley turns to her but before she can get another word out, leans over her to get Josh's attention.

"So what about you Uncle Josh," Riley asks. "Wanna check out a waterfall with your favorite niece and her of her closest friends?"

He smiles, his eyes passing over her before looking at Riley.

"Well as awesome as that sounds, Katy said that she was going to show me and Shawn how to fish Possum Trot style; whatever that means," he says, shrugging.

"Yeah I hope you boys are ready to get your hands dirty," her mom says, excitedly. "This is definitely not for the weak."

Shawn laughs but Josh turns to Maya, looking a little worried.

"If I don't make it tell my ma I love her," he says.

"Sure thing Boing," she says, shaking her head a little, trying to hold back a laugh.

Once breakfast is over, she pulls Riley aside and tells her that she's going to stay behind while they go on their hike. It takes some convincing but Riley eventually gives in and Maya grabs her sketchbook and heads out to the porch. She isn't sure how long she sits there, so focused on the page in front of her that she barely notices who is coming and going out of the cabin. She hears the cabin door open once again but ignores it, mumbling a goodbye to whoever is leaving.

"You sure I can't convince you to come with us?"

She looks up and sees Lucas moving down the steps, backpack in hand.

"Yeah I'm sure," she says. "You guys go ahead."

She goes on sketching, expecting him to go and join the others but she can feel him still standing there. When she glances up again, he's fidgeting with his hands.

"Lucas are you okay," she asks, putting down her pencil and setting her sketchbook aside. He'd been acting weird all morning and now she wants to know why.

"Uh yeah…I just…" He rubs the back of his neck uneasily, his eyes on the ground instead of on her. It seems like he has something he wants to say but has no clue of how to say it. She watches him, waiting until he glances back up at her.

"So you'll be okay here by yourself," he finally asks. "I mean I know you'll be okay with being by yourself but if not I could stay if you want."

She can tell that it's not what he actually wants to say but she doesn't push him on it. Instead she smiles.

"Thanks Huckleberry but I'll be fine," she says. "Besides I think spending some time alone today might not be such a bad thing."

He smiles, disappointment only flashing across his face for a second.

"Okay I just wanted to make sure," he says, throwing the backpack over his shoulder. "We shouldn't be gone long so try not to get into too much trouble."

"Can't make any promises," she says. "But I don't think it's me you have to worry about."

She glances over to their friends who already have their things ready for the hike.

"Look out for them, okay?"

He nods, before walking off to join the group and she watches as they all head down toward the trail, only going back to her sketchbook when she can no longer see them. It feels good to have the place all to herself. She sketches the sunrise from that morning, trying to find the right color pink for the sky when she hears the cabin door open behind her.

"That looks amazing Maya."

She jumps, glancing back to see Josh standing over her.

"What are you doing here? I thought you were going fishing?"

"I was," he says, laughing a little at her reaction. "But it seemed like Shawn and your mom needed some space so I gave it to them."

He steps down the porch steps and takes a seat next to her.

"Besides what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be hiking to some waterfall right now?"

She shrugs.

"I guess I needed some space too."

" _Oh_ …do you want me to leave?"

He gets up and starts to move toward the door but she surprises herself by stopping him.

"No, you can stay."

He hesitates, looking uncertain if he should.

"You sure," he asks, his hand still hovering over the door knob. "I wouldn't want to crash your me time."

She nods, motioning for him to rejoin her.

"No really, it's okay."

Once he sits back down, she goes back to sketching and a comfortable silence settles between them. He watches her while she sketches and it feels nice that neither of them feel the need to talk, that they can just enjoy each other's company. She can't remember the last time she felt so comfortable with him. After some time, she can feel him shift beside her.

"Maya…" he says softly, breaking the silence.

"Uh huh?"

Her eyes still trained on the page in front of her, she can hear him pause a second, taking in and letting out a breath before he continues.

"Why didn't you tell me about your dad?"

She looks up, a little taken back by his question. Sure she can probably come up with a lot of reasons why she hadn't told him but none of them really feel like the truth. She isn't even sure what the truth is anymore.

"Because I don't know," she finally says, turning her attention back to her sketchbook. "We weren't exactly speaking. Besides if I had told you, would you have cared?"

"Of course I would. I'm here aren't I?"

She shakes her head.

"You're here because Riley invited you. Let's not pretend it's because of me."

"Maya," he says, getting her to look at him again. "I'm here because of you."

She stares at him, surprised at his confession and when she doesn't say anything he continues.

"Look, I know I've already said this but I feel like I need to say it again. I'm sorry, not just about Zoe but about how I handled everything. I was kind of a jerk."

"Kind of?"

Josh looks down, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Okay so I was a huge jerk," he says, glancing up at her. "I'm sorry if I hurt you."

She nods, but there is no if about it. He had hurt her and she still feels the sting of it ever time she thinks about that night at Topanga's. Still, she's trying her best to let go of things that happened in the past and figures that letting go of that night is the perfect place to start.

"So are we okay," he asks.

"Getting there," she says, trying to smile. "We'll definitely get there."

They fall easily into conversation after that, staying on the porch long after her mom and Shawn have come back from fishing. She can't remember the last time they had such a real conversation. They seem to lose track of time and it isn't until the sun begins to sink lower in the sky that she realizes that the group still isn't back from their hike.

"I hope they're okay," she says. "Maybe we should go look for them?"

She's about to get up but Josh stops her.

"I don't think that'll be necessary," he says, pointing up ahead to the trail. She looks and there's Riley, Farkle, Zay and Lucas heading their way. They all look exhausted and dirty as they drag themselves up the path.

"What happened to you guys," she asks, standing as they got closer. Josh stands up with her.

"Them." Zay points to Riley and Farkle. "They tried to kill us."

She looks over at Lucas to explain.

"We were trying to find the waterfall but Riley and Farkle argued over directions the whole time and we got lost."

Riley and Farkle look down at the ground, occasionally peeking up to frown in each other's direction.

"I had a map," Farkle says. "If Riley wasn't so stubborn we would've found it."

Riley lifts her head completely, glaring at him.

"Stubborn? Who are you calling stubborn," she asks, stepping closer to him. Farkle gulps, shrinking a little but he doesn't back away.

"Uh…definitely not you."

The two of them stare at each other, their bodies inches apart, their faces close. The moment seems to last forever.

"Uh well... I'm just glad you guys are okay," Josh says, breaking the tension and causing the two of them to separate. "Me and Maya were about to come look for you."

Everyone turns their attention to Josh, seeming to just realize that he's there. Suddenly Lucas seems very interested that he's there.

"So Josh how did fishing go with Mr. and Mrs. Hunter," he asks, moving closer to them. Maya eyes him suspiciously but Josh just shrugs.

"Oh I didn't go," he says. "I ended up spending the whole day with Maya."

Lucas nods like he already known the answer to that, ignoring Josh and turning to face her instead.

"What's going on Maya? I thought you said you wanted to spend the day alone," he asks, and her eyes instantly narrow. She doesn't know if it's the disappointment on his face or the disapproval in his voice but she doesn't like it. What gives Lucas the right to question how she spends her time or who she spends it with?

"I can change my mind can't I," she says, trying but failing to keep her voice even. "Or is that not okay with you?"

Lucas's face instantly changes at the annoyance in her voice.

"Yeah it's more than okay," he says. "It's great. Perfect. Just great."

Lucas continues his rambling, backing away toward the tent. The group watches him and Maya can't help but wonder what's going on with him with today. She had no luck trying to find out earlier and right now she's far too angry to try and figure it out.

"I'll go check on him," Zay says, walking off.

"Guess I will too," Farkle says, throwing a look Riley's way before running behind Zay.

Riley watches Farkle until he's in the tent before she turns back to her and Josh.

"I don't think I've ever been this dirty in my life," Riley says. "I need to get cleaned up before the campfire tonight."

Riley turns to her, giving her best puppy dog eyes.

"Peaches?"

"Yes Honey?"

"Can you help me pick some of the twigs out of my hair?"

Maya smiles at her before glancing over at Josh.

"Sure Riles, I'll be there in a minute."

Riley heads into the cabin and Maya turns to Josh not sure exactly what to say. She bends down, collecting her sketchbook and pencils and she can feel Josh watching her as she does.

"Thanks for letting me hang out with you today."

"No problem," she says, collecting the last of her things. "Thanks for keeping company."

She's ready to head inside but the way he's looking at her stops her.

"You know I'm really glad I crashed your trip," he says, smiling.

She's quiet for a while, looking out into the distance and her eyes automatically go to the guys' tent.

"Yeah me too," she finally says. "I'm glad you did too."


	13. Chapter 13

**Hey guys! Sorry this update took so long. I've been so busy with school and work and everything else. I hope you enjoy the chapter :) and let me know what you think.**

 **P.s. Hope 2017 is being good to you! :)**

"Earth to Maya."

Riley's voice cuts through her thoughts and she snaps herself out of the daze she's in.

"I'm sorry Riles. What were you saying?"

She tries to refocus her attention on the back of Riley's head and goes back to pulling random bits of nature from her hair but Riley glances over her shoulder at her, giving her a knowing look.

"So, do you wanna talk about this now or are we gonna pretend like it didn't happen?"

"I'll take pretend like it didn't happen for two hundred," she says taking Riley's shoulders and facing her forward so that she can finish her hair.

"Wrong answer," Riley says, spinning around to face her completely. "We're talking about this right now."

Maya sighs, her hands dropping to her lap in defeat. Avoiding this conversation had officially become unavoidable, especially in the face of a determined Riley.

"Fine," she says, surrendering to Riley's expectant eyes. "Even though I don't see why we even have to talk about this."

"Because you spent the whole day alone with Josh. That's a big deal. And now you and Lucas are fighting. Maybe we could talk about what's going on?"

"Look I honestly have no idea. What I do know is that me and Josh spent that day as friends and me and Lucas are not fighting."

Riley gives her a look that says she thinks otherwise.

"It seemed like more than just a day between friends to me," Riley says and Maya can't help but roll her eyes. "And fighting or not, I think you should talk to Lucas. Clear the air."

"But what if I don't wanna?"

"Well tough," Riley says, crossing her arms over her chest. "We all want this trip to be a good one and that doesn't work if you and Lucas aren't on the same page."

"Fine," she says, knowing she's right. "I'll talk to Lucas, okay? Happy now?"

"Of course I am." Riley gives her a satisfied smile but it doesn't quite reach her eyes and Maya immediately knows why.

"Okay Honey, now that we've talked about me I think it's time we talk about what's going on with you," she says, linking arms with her.

Riley tries her best to be nonchalant about the whole thing but quickly loses her cool.

"Me? There's nothing going on with me. Why would you think there's something going on with me?"

"Come on Riles, why are you and Farkle fighting? You guys never fight."

Riley shrugs limply, her eyes going down into her lap.

"Well today on the hike, Farkle was going on about some rare moth he found but Lucas and Zay weren't really paying attention—"

"Like always."

"Right," Riley continues. "Farkle got frustrated and said that he wished that Smackle was there because she's the only one who truly appreciates his brain. I don't know Maya but it really bothered me when he said that…I mean we're his friends too and just because we're not geniuses like Smackle doesn't mean we can't appreciate Farkle and all of his braininess."

Maya stares at her best friend and can almost hear the I in every we she says.

"Farkle knows that," she says, gently. "I'm sure he didn't mean it that way."

Riley sighs, looking up at her.

"Yeah I know. But I was upset so I _may_ have tried to prove that I was just as smart as Smackle by finding the waterfall on my own and I _may_ have gotten everybody lost." She covers her face with her hand and lets out a long breath. "I don't know what's wrong with me Maya. I ruined everyone's day and now Farkle's mad at me. I feel awful."

"Nothing's wrong with you," she says, pulling Riley's hand from her face and making her look at her. "Just talk to Farkle and explain to him what you just told me. He'll understand."

Riley rests her head on Maya's shoulder.

"Do I have to?"

"Hey if I have to talk to Lucas then you have to talk to Farkle." She pats Riley's head. "It'll be okay."

The girls step out of the cabin and Maya wraps her arms around her as an icy wind blows through her clothes. It's the coldest it's been the whole weekend and she considers going back inside for a jacket. Instead, she trudges on toward the campfire where their friends are already seated. Her mom and Shawn are cuddled up next to each other with Josh sitting close by. There's an empty seat next to him but she figures after today, finding another place to sit is probably for the best. On the other side of the campfire, Farkle sits between Lucas and Zay, an empty spot next to either boy. Despite what she told Riley, she has no intention of talking to Lucas, at least not right now, and even with Riley nodding not so subtly for her to sit next to him she plops down next to Zay instead. Riley sits next to her shaking her head.

"Sup Babs," she says, nudging him with her shoulder.

"I don't know." He shoots a quick look Lucas's way. "You tell me."

Her eyes follow his and she sighs, before looking out into the fire.

"I wish I knew," she says. "I really do."

She looks back at Zay, knowing that he probably knows a lot more than she does considering he was the one who checked on Lucas, and wants nothing more than to pull him aside and ask him about it. She doesn't get a chance before Shawn pulls out her guitar from behind him.

"I hope you don't mind baby girl but we brought your guitar along with us," her mom says. "Thought it'd be a nice way to spend some time."

Shawn hands the guitar over to her mom who leans over and hands it to her.

"Maybe you could start us off?"

Maya stares down at the guitar.

"Uh…sure," she says, looking up at everyone around her. "Any requests?"

A murmur spreads around the campfire, everyone trying to come up with a song.

"How about Landslide by Fleetwood Mac?"

She glances over at Lucas.

"It's one of your favorites, right?"

It _is_ one of her favorites and had always held a special place in her heart ever since she was a little girl.

Her mom played it constantly when she was growing up, the song echoing through their small apartment for hours. She would always tell her that for her the song was a reminder that life is about change and sometimes even when that's scary or hard, in time life has a way of making things right. After that on the nights when she couldn't sleep and her father's absence weighed heavy on her she'd play the song until the sun came up. It's something she hasn't shared with anyone outside from her mom…and Lucas.

'Okay," she finally says, adjusting the guitar on her lap.

Despite this not being the first time she's singing in front of her friends, something about this time feels different. This song feels too close, like a piece of her she isn't ready to share and she can't bring herself to look at anyone. Instead, she focuses on her fingers as they begin to strum the strings and when she starts to sing, her voice comes out soft and slow.

 _"_ _I took my love, I took it down, climbed a mountain and I turned around…"_

Her voice floats into the air, blending easily with the lilting rhythm of the guitar and the crackling of the fire. The faint sound of her mom humming along makes it to her ears and she closes her eyes, letting that be her focus.

 _"_ _Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love?_

 _Can the child within my heart rise above?_

 _Can I sail through the changin' ocean tides?_

 _Can I handle the seasons of my life..."_

She opens her eyes, finally getting a glimpse of everyone around the circle. Everyone's eyes are on her but hers inevitably find Lucas, lingering on him for a moment. She can't explain exactly what shines behind his eyes as he watches her with a hint of a smile on lips, but whatever it is, she feels it like the warmth of the fire and she quickly brings her attention back to the strings before she continues.

 _"_ _Well, I've been afraid of changin'_

 _Cause I built my whole life around you_

 _But time makes you bolder_

 _Even children get older_

 _And I'm getting older, too_

 _Oh, I'm getting older, too…"_

Every night she ever stayed up crying about her dad, every moment she ever felt alone, every difficult moment she survived over the last year pours out in every word. Her mom's voice still sounds off in the distance and she looks over at her, nodding for her to join her for the last part of the song.

 _"_ _I took my love, I took it down…"_

Her mom's voice falls in harmony with hers effortlessly.

" _I climbed a mountain and I turned around_

 _And if you see my reflection in the snow-covered hill_

 _Well the landslide will bring it down_

 _And if you see my reflection in the snow-covered hills_

 _Well the landslide will bring it down_

 _Oh, the landslide will bring it down."_

There's a moment of stillness as the last strum of the guitar fades into the air before the group breaks into applause.

"Still got it," her mom says, smiling at her.

"We sure do," she says smiling back.

"Wow Peaches that was amazing." Riley throws an arm around her and pulls her in for a hug.

"It really was Maya," Lucas says softly.

"Yeah that was pretty good Blondie." Zay bumps her with his shoulder before turning back to the group. "Now who wants s'mores?"

"Wait," Riley cuts in, before anyone can answer. "Aren't we gonna sing another song?"

"Yeah sure let's see. Anybody wanna follow that?"

Zay motions between her and her mom, looking around at their friends but everyone shakes their heads, no one wanting to give the guitar a try.

"Fine s'mores it is."

Riley throws up her hands in surrender and a collective cheer goes around the circle. Her mom starts to get up, reaching for the graham crackers and marshmallows but Zay beats her to it.

"I got it Ms. Katy." He flashes her a classic Babineux smile and proceeds to pass out packs of graham crackers and skewers to roast their marshmallows on.

"Has anybody seen the chocolate bars?"

Zay looks around for them and Maya hops up from her seat, remembering that she saw them on the kitchen counter.

"I know where they are."

She moves toward the cabin, her arms immediately wrapping around her the farther she gets from the fire. She doesn't realize that Josh has gotten up too or that he's walking with her until she gets halfway to the cabin door.

"I think I can handle bringing back a few chocolate bars by myself Boing."

"I know. Just thought I'd tag along, if that's okay with you?" He gives her one of his half smiles and she tries to ignore the butterflies that dance around in her stomach. She hates herself for even thinking that it means anything and reminds herself one again that he has a girlfriend. She repeats in her head over and over as they reach the door. And again, when he holds it open for her. She starts to walk past him but stops short and can't bring herself to go inside without knowing exactly what's going on.

"What are you doing?"

"Holding the door open for you," he says, his brow furrowed. "At least I'm trying to."

"No I mean with me. Why are you spending so much time with me lately?"

His eyebrows furrow even deeper and he stares down at her in confusion.

"I don't know, we're both here so why not? Besides I like you Maya," he says, simply. "But I thought we had already established that."

She looks at him, wanting to leave it at that. He likes her, she like him. But she knows it's not that simple.

"And what about Zoe? How would she feel if she knew about this?"

He sighs at the question, rubbing at the back of his neck.

"Well about that…we broke up."

His words hang there and it feels like a full minute goes by without either one of them saying anything.

"Oh," she finally manages to get out.

It's the only thing she can think to say despite the many things that race around in her head. She doesn't feel how she expected herself to feel after hearing Josh's confession. She isn't quite sure what to make of how she's feeling right now. She stares up at him a little longer before moving past him and stepping into the cabin. When she gets inside, she puts all of her focus into finding the chocolate bars, spotting them on the kitchen counter and going to them. She gathers them up in her hands and when she turns around Josh is still standing near the door, watching her like he has something he wants to say.

"Maya?"

"Yeah?"

"Umm…Let me help you with that." He crosses the distance between them, taking the chocolate bars from her and turning back to the door. She starts to follow him out but stops to grab Lucas's sweatshirt, putting it on, on her way out the door.

Her and Josh walk back in silence, her catching him looking at her every once in a while.

"I want you to know that my breakup with Zoe isn't the reason I'm spending time with you," he says suddenly, just as they reach the campfire.

"It's not?" She raises an eyebrow at him. He shakes his head.

"No, it's not." He leaves it at that, giving her a smile before going back to his seat around the fire. She heads back to her seat too, handing the chocolate bars off to Zay on her way. When she glances up across from where she's sitting she can see Riley and Farkle talking, each with a soft smile on their face. It always amazed her how easy it seemed for them to just…get each other.

She looks around the rest of the circle to see her mom cracking up at something Zay is saying, something ridiculous she's sure, and Shawn chatting casually with Josh. And then she sees Lucas heading her way. He walks over to her carefully, carrying a plate with a single s'more on top of it.

"Well you must not be too mad at me if you're wearing my sweatshirt," he says, once he reaches her.

She gives him a look, resisting the urge to roll her eyes. Still, she tugs at the oversized sleeves self-consciously, pulling them over her hands.

"It's cold," she says simply. He nods, smiling a little.

"Here this is for you." He holds the plate out to her. She eyes it but makes no moves to take it.

"Is this your way of apologizing?"

"More like a peace offering," he says, holding it closer to her. When she still doesn't take it, he sighs taking a seat next to her. "Look Maya, I'm really sorry about earlier. I never meant to make it seem like you couldn't spend your time how you want to…or with who you want to. I hope you can forgive me."

She glances over at him and sighs. She doesn't want to be mad anymore and she definitely doesn't want their last day to be spent tip toeing around each other. They've done enough of that for a lifetime.

"Sure, you're forgiven," she says. "But can you tell me what that was all about?"

I've been having a bad day and I guess I took it out on you," he says shrugging.

"And that's all that was? You having a bad day?"

"Maybe not." He pauses, glancing over at her and it looks like he's debating on whether he should say what he's about to say next.

"Maybe it was about Josh," he finally blurts out. "I don't like the way he treated you during the whole Zoe situation or how he treats you at all if I'm being honest. Maybe I went about it the wrong way but I was just trying to look out for you."

She opens her mouth, wanting to defend Josh but she can't deny the truth behind his words.

"Thanks," she says instead. "I appreciate it but I don't need you looking out for me, okay? I can take care of myself."

"I know that," he assures her. "But I care about you so I'm always going to look out for you."

She nods, giving him a grateful smile and for a while they both go quiet.

"Here," he says after a moment, handing over the s'more. "Just the way you like it, extra chocolate and a slightly burnt marshmallow."

She takes it, looking over at him surprised.

"How'd you know that I like my s'mores that way? Did I tell you that?"

He meets her eyes for a moment before turning toward the fire, looking a little embarrassed.

"Uh...not exactly…do you remember that day we were all hanging out at Farkle's after the Red Planet Diaries finale?"

She nods and he continues.

"Well you were so mad because you and Riley still hadn't seen the episode and Farkle would not shut up about it. So, to distract you Zay suggested we make s'mores. We still had left-over stuff that I'd brought but making it in the microwave just wasn't working for you," he says, smiling a little at the memory. "You spent a whole ten minutes looking for matches and then another five burning the marshmallow just right. It was the weirdest thing I've ever seen you do."

Lucas turns to her, his face spreading to a goofy Huckleberry grin.

"Hey it's not weird, it's delicious," she says, but can't help but smile back. "I can't believe you remember that."

Lucas shrugs.

"I remember everything when it comes to you."

His confession is surprising to say the least and she finds herself wondering what else he's noticed over the past few months when she thought he wasn't paying attention. Just when she's about to say something, Shawn comes over asking them to come join the rest of the group.

They end up spending the rest of the night doing every classic campfire tradition they can think of; eating s'mores and telling scary stories. They even take the guitar back out and sing a few more songs. It starts to get late and after a while, she can see her mom and Shawn passing a yawn back and forth.

"Okay we old folks are going to bed," Shawn says, getting up and holding his hand out for her mom. "You guys make sure to put that fire out before you leave."

"See you in the morning," her mom says.

The group shouts out their goodnights as the couple heads inside.

"So, what now," she asks, turning back to her friends.

"How about we play a game," Zay suggests, his face spreading into a mischievous smile. "Who's up for some Truth or Dare?"

"You know what that sounds like a great idea." Riley shares a look with Zay before turning to look between her and Lucas. "But let's make it a game of Truth or Truth. The only time we take a dare is if we can't answer the question."

"You sure this is a good idea," Maya asks uneasily. "Maybe we should do something else."

"Yeah, anything else really would be good," Lucas says. He shoots a quick look her way but she looks away just as quickly, turning her attention back to Riley and Zay.

"Come on guys," Riley says. "What's a little truth between friends? Besides it could be fun."

"Or it could end up being a disaster." Farkle shakes his head, probably remembering the last time the group had tried to play a game. "I'm with Maya and Lucas. I don't see this ending well."

Riley sighs, glancing over at Josh.

"What do you think Uncle Josh?"

Josh looks around the circle and shrugs.

"I'm up for a game if you are." His eyes land on Maya and his mouth curls into a smile. She smiles back and the two get caught up in staring at each other.

"Fine I'm in," Lucas blurts out and everyone brings their attention to him, including her and Josh. "So are we playing or what?"

Zay lifts an amused eyebrow in her direction before turning to Lucas.

"Alright Lucas since you seem so eager you can go first." Zay angles his chair so that it faces him. "Okay so we all that our group of friends has survived a lot over the past year and half and—"

Lucas sighs, cutting him off.

"What are you getting at Zay?"

"Well I guess what I'm getting at is over this past, let's say two years, what has been your biggest regret? I'm talking about the one thing you wish you could go back and do over."

The question hangs in the air and Lucas stares at Zay wide eyed as if Zay has just told everyone his deepest darkest secret. The tension between them feels intense as everyone waits for Lucas to answer and Zay watches him expectantly, like he already knows what he's going to say.

"Uhh…pass," he says finally, turning back to the group.

Zay shakes his head.

"That's not how it works buddy. You gotta answer."

"Or he could do a dare instead," Josh cuts in, offering Lucas a sympathetic smile. "If he really doesn't want to answer."

"Yeah dare," Lucas says quickly. "I'll take a dare."

Zay seems to think about it for a moment.

"Fine," he says "You have two choices buddy. You can answer the question or for your dare you have to jump from Serpent Creek Point into the lake."

Lucas looks around the circle at the group.

"Guess I'm going for a swim," he says, rising to his feet.

"Lucas you don't have to do this," she says, getting up with him. "It's a bad idea."

"Yeah man, do you realize how cold that water is going to be," Josh says.

Lucas eyes Josh, before turning back to her.

"I rode a bull. I think I can handle some cold water."

Josh holds his hands up in surrender and Maya turns to the rest of their friends, desperate for someone to say something. Riley and Farkle share a look but offer nothing so she turns to Zay, elbowing him in the arm.

"Talk him out of this right now Babineux or so help me," she says, her voice low and threatening.

Zay's eyes widen at her warning.

"Okay, okay," he says, turning back to Lucas. "Don't do it Lucas. I'll give you a new question, hell a new dare. Just don't do it."

Lucas gives Zay a look before waving him off and with that he heads toward the trail with the group following not too far behind. She walks beside Zay, trying to suppress her anger.

"This is your fault."

"Hey I was just trying to get him to answer the question. I didn't think he'd actually go through with it."

"Great idea Babs," she says, falling in line behind the others. "Just great."

It takes them a good twenty minutes to navigate their way in the dark, the moon offering the only light as it occasionally peeked out through the trees' branches. She tries to keep up with the long strides of the others but falls behind, following the sound of their feet crunching against the fallen leaves and twigs. When she finally catches up, Lucas is already standing at the top of the cliff. The rest of their friends stand below it but she immediately climbs up the rock to join him. Reaching the top and looking over the edge takes her breath away, but not in a good way. A jump that seems tame during the day is now an endless pit of black.

"You're seriously doing this?"

He glances beside him to where she stands and nods.

"Yep, I guess so."

"Why?"

"Because I couldn't answer the question. Isn't that how the game works?"

She ignores the sarcasm is his voice, taking him by the arm and making him face her.

"Nobody wants you to do this. Besides what's the big deal? So what, you have regrets. We all do but we're your friends and whatever it is we'd understand."

He stares down at her, and for a second she thinks he just might tell her what the hell is going on with him but then he looks away.

"I know that," he says softly, turning back to the edge of the cliff. "But this is something I'm still trying to accept because trying to undue it would be… complicated. I don't know maybe it's for the best if I just leave it alone but it's hard knowing that I may never get a chance to make things right."

She sighs, taking a step toward him closer to the edge.

"Look if Matthews has taught me anything it's that there's always a chance to make things right," she says. "Whatever it is."

He glances up at her a hint of a smile forming on his lips.

"Thank you."

"No problem," she says, with a smile. "Now can we go or am I gonna have to jump in after you because I really don't wanna do that."

"Maya, I didn't just make everyone walk out here for nothing," he says. "I have to do this."

"Well then I guess I have to too," she says.

He turns to her, giving her a look but when she doesn't back down he glances back at the lake with a sigh.

"Fine," he says. "Come on."

He leads the way off the rock, stopping only to help her down and when they reach their friends, everyone looks to her, waiting for an explanation.

"I think that's enough Truth and Dare for one night, don't you think?"

Everyone nods in agreement and they all start heading back in the direction they came. The walk back takes even longer than the walk there and by the time they make it to the cabin it's late and everyone's exhausted. The group parts ways without a word, the boy's heading for their tent while she and Riley drag themselves toward the porch steps.

"Maya," Lucas calls out, stopping her before she gets too far.

"Yes Huckleberry?"

"Thanks again for stopping me from doing something stupid," he says, his face breaking out into the first real smile she's seen on him that day.

"Anytime."

He tips his imaginary hat at her in goodbye, turning back to the tent and she watches him go inside.

"So, you and Lucas are okay now," Riley asks, once she's caught up to her. Maya glances back at the tent with a smile, before throwing her arm around her best friend.

"Yep, we're good."


	14. Chapter 14

Maya takes her eyes off the ceiling long enough to glance down at Riley sleeping at the other end of the couch; her face buried in the cushion, one of her arms hanging over the side, and she wishes could sleep like that. Instead she's up torturing herself with things she has no control over and just lying here staring up at the ceiling is driving her crazy. If she were at home, she'd be painting or looking out her window, watching the people passing by on the street below. It always seemed like taking her mind off whatever was making it hard for her to sleep was her only option and now seems to be no different.

Without giving it much thought, she throws her legs the edge of the couch, careful not to wake Riley, and tiptoes in socked feet to the front door, stepping out into the crisp air. She takes a seat in her usual spot on the porch steps, looking out into the night sky and there's something about being out here that instantly calms her. As much as she loves the city, she can't put into words the feeling of being able to get away from it all, of getting to see the sky glittered with so many stars. The last time she had seen so many stars…

She shakes away the familiar thought before it has a chance to fully form in her mind and tries to focus her attention back on the sky.

"Can't sleep either?"

She turns in the direction of the voice, her eyes trying to adjust to the darkness and when they do Josh emerges from it as if by magic. She lets out a breath, relieved to see that it's only him.

"Nope, wide awake with my thoughts," she says, offering what she hopes is a smile. "What about you?"

"Well between Farkle snoring like a bear and the Cowboy tossing and turning I'd say I've gotten maybe—" He pulls out his phone to check the time. "Five minutes of sleep."

She tenses a little at the mention of Lucas, but laughs.

"Sounds like you're having a rough night."

"Something like that." He takes a seat next to her, pausing for a second, before turning to look at her. "So, those thoughts that are keeping you up, do they have anything to do with tomorrow?"

He looks at her, waiting for her to say what she figures he already knows but she only shrugs.

"Hey it's normal to be nervous about something like this," he assures her. "But you'll be okay and Sophie will too." His words come out with so much certainty and she wonders how can he be so sure when she isn't. Maybe it's because compared to her life, Josh's life has been an easy one. He has the luxury of simply believing that everything will work out because it's all he's ever known, but she knows better.

"Please don't say that."

"Say what?" His eyebrows knit together in confusion.

"That Sophie will be okay. You don't know that."

"I'm sorry Maya. You're right," he says, sheepishly. "I don't know what's going to happen but what I _do_ know is that you have to have a little hope. It's the only thing you can do."

She nods, knowing that he's right but isn't exactly sure how she's supposed to do that. Lately, finding a reason to have hope in something has been hard and no matter how much she wants to believe that Sophie will be okay, the cynic in her just won't let her. She turns to Josh, wondering if he might have a way to help her find the hope she's been missing but just when she's about to ask, he speaks first.

"I know this probably isn't the right time for this," he says suddenly. "But can I talk to you about something?"

"Um…sure. What do you wanna talk about?"

"You and me," he says and she looks over at him in surprise. "Look, my breakup with Zoe and spending this weekend here with you has made me rethink a lot of things. I realized that I still want someday to be a possibility for us."

It is the last thing she expects to hear come out of his mouth and her eyes narrow in disbelief.

"Really? You sure this isn't just some reaction to your breakup?"

He shakes his head.

"No, Maya it isn't. I think a part of me forgot how great of a person you are and being on this trip reminded me of that. It reminded me of why I like you, but if you want to call off the long game, just say the words, and I will."

She stares back at him, not knowing how to respond and a million different thoughts race through her mind at one time.

"I'm not exactly sure what I wanna do," she finally manages to say. "I need some time to think about it."

"I get that so take all the time you need. Maybe in the meantime we can try being friends," he suggests. "You know, actually get to know each other. What do you say?"

He holds his hand out to her and after a moment she takes it, letting her hand curl into his with ease.

"So, friends, then?"

She nods.

"Friends."

His face spreads into an easy smile, his eyes crinkling at the sides and his hand is still holding onto hers. For a moment, every doubt she's been having over the last couple weeks all seem to fade away behind his smile and she finds herself smiling back. They sit there quietly, their hands still connected but then she hears rustling out in the distance and when she looks up, sees Lucas heading their way. She quickly frees her hand from Josh's, ignoring the curious look he gives her, and watches as Lucas makes his way over, his hands stuffed in his pockets and his eyes on trained on the ground.

"Hey Lucas," she says uneasily, once he reaches the porch.

"Hey." He offers her a tight-lipped smile. "I was just going in to grab a bottle of water."

"Oh okay." She scoots over, making a way for him to pass and watches him as he goes inside. When she turns back to Josh, his eyes are on her, his face wearing the same questioning look.

"What?"

"Nothing." He shakes his head and fixes a smile on his face. "But I think I'm gonna head back to the tent and try to get some sleep."

He pushes himself up from the steps, turning to face her, and his smile wavers for a second.

"Goodnight Maya."

"Goodnight Josh."

He turns away slowly, almost reluctant to leave, and she watches him until he makes it into the tent. She hates to admit it, but a part of her is a little relieved to see him go. She can't seem to think straight whenever she's around him and a distracted mind is the last thing she needs if she's going to make the right decision about whether or not to keep playing the long game. She has a lot to think about and she figures it's probably better if she does it alone. She wraps her arms around her knees with a sigh, her mind even more awake than before, but then she hears the door open behind her.

"Where'd Josh go?"

She turns back to see Lucas standing there, passing a water bottle from one hand to the other.

"Oh um…he decided to go to bed," she says, motioning back toward the tent. He nods in her direction, not really looking her in the eye before taking a swig from the bottle.

"Are you headed in too," he asks, fidgeting with the water bottle's label.

"No, I was thinking of staying out here a little bit longer. You?"

"Same."

"Well then—" She pats the spot next to her. "We can sit together, if you want?"

He gives her a small smile and sits next to her on the steps, an easy silence settling between them. For a while, they just sit there, both of them looking out into the sky.

"Hey Lucas," she says after a moment. "Can I ask you something?"

He brings his eyes down to look at her.

"Yeah sure."

"What do you do when you're having a hard time finding your hope?"

He quirks his eyebrow up at her, but then seeming to realize why she's asking, looks up into the night sky before turning back to her.

"I pray," he says.

"And that helps?"

He nods. "It does."

She leans forward to get a better view of the sky, taking a minute to consider what he just said. She isn't sure what she believes and doesn't consider herself to be all that religious but Lucas had helped her to pray before and if it will help now she's willing to give it another try.

"Will you pray with me," she asks, turning to face him.

Lucas looks a little surprised but then he smiles.

"Sure."

He bows his head and she follows, bowing hers too. And then she surprises herself, reaching over and grabbing his hand without giving it a second thought. He doesn't flinch or pull away and instead continues on like holding her hand is the most normal thing in the world.

"God, we come to you to ask you for help," he begins. "Sophie is an amazing 8 year old who's dealing with something no kid should have to and she needs you. Please watch over her and give her the strength to get through this. And please watch over Maya too."

She peeks up at the mention of her name but his head is still bowed, his eyes closed.

"She is one of the strongest people I know but she needs your help to get through this too. Help her to find her hope. Thank you for hearing us and for all that you do for us. Amen."

"Amen."

They both lift their heads, looking over at each other, and she takes her hand back from his.

"Thank you. I actually feel a little better."

"It's what I'm here for," he says, smiling at her. "I'm always here for you Maya. I hope you know that."

"I do and I hope you know that I'm here for you too," she says. "What are friends for, right?"

He seems a little taken back by her words.

"Friends…right…" He blinks himself out of his daze, trailing off into silence.

"You okay?"

"Yeah," he says, quietly, giving her a weak nod.

She looks him over, not fully convinced.

"You sure?"

"I'm fine," he says, more confident this time. "Besides the only thing you need to be thinking about is tomorrow." He glances down at his watch. "And it's actually getting pretty late. You don't wanna try and maybe get some sleep?"

She shakes her head.

"Not yet, but hey if you're tired, you can go. I'll be okay."

This time it's his turn to shake his head.

"Nope," he says, with a smile. "If you're staying out here than so am I." He settles back onto the steps, crossing his arms over him.

She raises an eyebrow at him in challenge.

"You sure about that Huckleberry? Isn't it past your bedtime or something?"

He rolls his eyes, good-naturedly.

"You know what Shortstack it is but I'm in it for the long haul. So, what do you wanna do now?"

She thinks about it for a minute, before hopping up from her spot on the steps.

"Alright Huckleberry, follow me."

She leads the way to the hammock, plopping down in it and when he takes a seat next to her, she kicks her legs, rocking them back and forth.

"This view is amazing," she breaths out, her eyes trying to take it all in.

"Yeah it really is. It kind of makes me miss Texas though."

She glances over at him but he's still looking up at the sky.

"I think I'd miss it to if I were you," she says. "Texas is a pretty great place."

He turns to look at her, his eyes shining with the same something she saw earlier at the campfire.

"I was thinking that we all should take another trip down there. Pappy Joe keeps asking me when you're coming back."

"Pappy Joe asked about me?"

A smile spreads to her face, along with a warmth that spreads through the rest of her. When she glances over at Lucas, there's just enough light for her to see the slight blush creeping across his cheek.

"Well yeah he asked about you but he asks about all my friends. Just yesterday he asked me about Farkle," he says with an uneasy laugh.

She laughs too, shaking her head a little and brushing past his awkwardness.

"Well the next time you talk to Pappy Joe, tell him I said hello."

"I will."

They fall easily into conversation after that, laying back in the hammock and staring up at the stars. They talk about everything and nothing and it feels like old times, before things ever got complicated between them. It feels good to have her friend back and she knows that this is the way it's supposed to be. She can't imagine having it any other way.


	15. Chapter 15

Maya's eyes flutter open, giving her a glimpse of the brightening horizon and when she groggily turns over to escape the light her face ends up in the soft fabric of Lucas's sweatshirt. They sit close enough for her to feel the warmth radiating from his body, her cheek resting against his shoulder and she knows that she should probably put some space between them. But she doesn't. She's too exhausted to move or at least that's what she tells herself and she settles a little further into the hammock, promising to get up in a few minutes.

She starts to drift back to sleep so easily that she almost doesn't notice when Lucas shifts beside her. He moves carefully like he's trying not to wake her and when he settles back into his spot, somehow he's even closer than before. There's something about being here with him, about the way the sun kisses her cheek and how the hammock gently rocks back and forth that just feels… _right_. A part of her wishes she could skip out on going to the hospital and just hide out here for the rest of the day but soon as the thought pops into her head a twinge of guilt flutters up in her stomach. Having all of her friends here this weekend has been a nice distraction from the real reason why she's here but it's time she faces reality.

She shifts a little, ready to pull herself away from Lucas and finally get up but then she hears someone approaching in the distance. Panic stops her from moving or opening her eyes; she's not ready to explain the whys and hows of what she and Lucas are doing out here.

"Well how cute is this?"

She can feel Lucas's body tense at the sound of Zay's voice and she wonders if he feels the way hers stiffens too.

"Not the time Zay," he says in a hushed tone. "She's sleeping."

"I see that." Zay's voice is laced with amusement. "What I'm wondering is how she ended up sleeping out here with you?"

She can practically picture the smirk that probably sits on his face and she almost feels bad for leaving Lucas to answer the questions while she _sleeps_. She _almost_ feels bad enough to step in, especially when a tense silence finds its way between the two of them, Lucas ignoring Zay altogether.

"Really? The silent treatment," Zay finally says. "You can't tell me that you're still mad about last night?"

"Why wouldn't I be? I almost jumped off a cliff thanks to you."

"You know you always could've just answered the question."

"No I couldn't," he says, pointedly. "And you know that so I don't get why you would do that to me. You're supposed to be my best friend."

Sleep still clings to his voice but the seriousness in his tone is clear, especially to Zay who lets out a sigh.

"I am your best friend," he says. "And that's exactly why I did it. All I was trying to do was get you to tell her the truth."

There's a pause in the conversation and she's reminded of Zay's words to her from last night. At the time, she was too concerned with trying to stop Lucas from hurling himself in the lake to even think about it but now she can't help but wonder why Zay was so determined to get Lucas to answer that question. Or why Lucas was so determined not to answer it.

"Look maybe I didn't exactly think it all the way through," Zay admits, bringing her out of her thoughts. "And I'm sorry for doing it in front of everybody but you and I both know that this isn't going away."

Lucas lets out a long breath.

"I know," he says, his voice even softer than before. "And I will tell her but I need you to let me do that when _I'm_ ready."

"I can do that," Zay says, quickly. "From now on, I promise you that I'll stay out of it."

"Thanks. That's all I'm asking."

"So, we're cool," Zay asks after a beat, his voice vulnerable for the first time since he walked up.

"Yeah, we're cool."

There's an understanding that rests within their silence now and as Zay's footsteps move away from them she can feel Lucas's body relax into hers. She may have been able to relax too if their conversation hadn't left her head swimming with so many questions and now all she can think about is what Lucas could possibly be hiding and who he's hiding it from. It's obvious from what Zay said, that this secret involves either her or Riley and given Lucas's reaction to the whole thing, whatever it is seems big, like something that has the potential to change everything. Just the thought is enough to cause an uneasiness to settle in her chest. Suddenly, sitting here with Lucas isn't so nice anymore and she turns over, stretching her arms out before sitting up completely. She steals a glance at him over her shoulder and he seems surprised by her sudden movement but his face quickly relaxes into a smile.

"Morning Shortstack."

"Morning Huckleberry," she answers back softly, shifting in the hammock to face him. His expression is soft and thoughtful as he gazes at her and she finds herself staring back, getting lost in seafoam green.

"Uh…thanks again for staying out here with me last night," she says, managing to blink herself out their shared gaze and pushing herself up from the hammock. She doesn't give him a chance to respond to her thanks before she's slowly moving away from him.

"Well I'll see you later Huckleberry," she says, still inching in the other direction. "Gotta get packed up and what not."

She turns to head back to the cabin, leaving Lucas sitting in the hammock, forcing herself not to look back.

Maya trudges down the graveled driveway, struggling to keep her duffle bag from slipping from her shoulder as she makes her way over to Shawn's truck. The bag's a lot heavier than she remembers and as she goes to lift it, the weight easily knocks her small frame off balance. There's nothing she can do to stop herself from stumbling back but just as she's about to fall, a small lavender suitcase falls at her feet and two hands come up and steady her.

"You okay?"

Josh comes from behind her, his hands shifting from her waist to the bag in her hand.

"Yeah," she says, giving him a grateful smile as he places her bag in the truck. "Thanks for catching me."

"Any time."

He returns her smile with one of his own before reaching down for the small lavender suitcase he dropped and when he does she notices a matching backpack slung over his shoulder.

"Nice bags," she teases. "The purple's really working for you."

He gives her a look, a smirk playing at his lips.

"Well thanks Hart but they're not mine."

"Yeah, they're Riley's," she says easily. "But why do you have them?"

"Oh, you know, just doing what I can to help you guys get out of here on time," he says, turning back to load the suitcase into the truck. "Riley's helping your mom with something so I offered to bring her stuff out here."

She stares up at him, wondering if she heard that right.

"Wait, what do you mean get _you_ guys out of here? You're not coming with us?"

"Shawn's truck only fits seven," he says with a shrug. "But it's fine."

He moves over, opening the truck door and tossing Riley's backpack into the backseat.

"If anyone should stay behind it should be me. I mean I was the one who crashed your trip." He turns back to give her a reassuring smile. "Besides I need to get back to campus anyway so it works out."

She nods, trying to hide her disappointment.

"Look you're gonna be fine," he says, bringing her in for a hug. "Okay?"

He pulls away just enough to look at her but her eyes find their way into the sky instead of his, remembering her night under the stars.

"Okay," she finally says, looking back at him. "Everything's gonna be fine."

He smiles down at her before pulling away completely, just as the rest of the group makes their way out of the cabin and joins them around the truck. Josh wastes no time in helping Shawn and the guys load the rest of the luggage and when they're done, her mom turns to her, throwing a comforting arm around her shoulder.

"You ready, baby girl?"

"As ready as I'll ever be," she says, trying to hide her nerves behind a smile. "So, let's do this thing?"

"Yeah, you got this kiddo," Shawn says, giving her shoulder a quick squeeze before walking toward the driver's side of the truck. The rest of the group follows his lead, moving over to the other doors of the truck and a restless charge hangs in the air as they all pile in; Zay sitting up front with Shawn and her mom while her and Riley sit in between Lucas and Farkle in the back.

Josh waves them goodbye and she watches him as they pull off, wondering when she'll get a chance to see him again. Even though the long game has never been about right now and things have always felt sort of open-ended between them, she hates how unsettled things feel now. She has a decision to make but it'll have to wait because her mind is being pulled elsewhere.

 _Everything will be okay. Everything will be okay._ She repeats the words like a mantra but they do nothing to calm her so she focuses on the sound of the tires moving over the road, it being the only noise besides the low hum of the radio to fill the silence in the truck. If she wasn't so anxious, she'd probably be dozing off from her long night but she's too on edge to sleep. It's all she can do to sit still and her leg shakes against the seat, trying to keep her nerves at bay.

"Maya, are you okay?"

She only acknowledges Lucas with a nod, not bothering to look at him and ignoring the concerned look she knows he's probably giving her. He seems to take the hint because he settles back into his seat, but it doesn't stop the worried looks he continues to give her for the rest of the ride. When they finally pull into the hospital parking lot she's even more jittery than before and keeps a tight hold on Riley's hand as the group makes their way into the building.

Her and Riley find seats near the entrance and the boys settle in across from them but her eyes follow Shawn and her mom as they head over to the admissions desk.

"Please distract me," she says turning to her best friend. "I don't care how. I just need to think about anything other than this."

Riley's concerned face turns up thoughtfully.

"Um okay…uh…we could talk about…you and Josh," she says quickly. "You guys seem to be in a good place, now."

She gives Riley a small smile.

"Really Riles? That's what you wanna talk about?"

"Sure, why not," Riley asks, sheepishly. "I'm curious. It seems like something's changed between you two. Am I wrong?"

"No, you're not wrong," she says. "Actually he and Zoe broke up and—"

"Wait, what?" Riley's eyes widen. "What happened?"

"No idea. All he said was that their breakup and being here this weekend made him rethink some things. He said that he still wants to play the long game." She picks at the chipped polish on her nails. "I don't know Riles. I want to believe him but…I told him that I needed some time to think."

"Well Peaches, what _are_ you thinking?"

She looks up and her eyes instantly find Lucas who's already looking at her, but as soon as their eyes meet, he turns to Zay, suddenly fascinated by whatever he's saying to Farkle. She lets out a sigh. It's a little awkward, talking about Josh in front of him, especially now that she knows how he feels about their relationship. As much as she hates to admit it, his opinion matters to her and knowing that he doesn't approve of Josh…bothers her.

"I don't know," she says turning back to Riley, her voice softer than before. "I think a part of me is waiting for some kind of sign to tell me what I should do. Or maybe I'm just waiting for Josh to prove to me that playing the long game is worth it."

Riley gives her an understanding smile, linking their arms together.

"You've always been good at following your heart so now's a good time to listen to it. I'm sure it'll tell you what you should do."

"I hope so," she says, resting her head on Riley's shoulder, exhausted from trying to unravel all the unknowns in her life. She wishes that figuring everything out was as easy as following her heart but just looking back on the triangle is enough proof that doing so doesn't end well for her. Back then, she'd follow her heart off a cliff but now it feels like those days are behind her. Now it's time for her to use her head.

"Maya Hart?"

She looks up to see a woman with a cheerful smile and a curly auburn bob standing off by the admissions desk, a chart tucked underneath her arm and her hands casually thrown in the pockets of her lime green scrubs.

"That would be me," she says, rising from her seat and slowly making her way over to the desk. She doesn't have to look back to know that her friends are behind her.

"Awesome, I'm nurse Mindy and we're ready to take you back." She looks over the large group, still wearing the same cheery smile. "One lucky person is allowed to come back with you."

Maya reaches for her mom without hesitation and she comes to stand beside her.

"Are you mom?"

"That I am," her mom replies proudly, bringing her arm around her.

Nurse Mindy's smile widens.

"Perfect. Well right this way," she says, opening the large double doors and motioning for them to follow. Maya doesn't make a big deal of saying goodbye to Shawn or her friends, only offering a brief wave before turning to go through the doors, following Nurse Mindy down the hall into a small room.

"Here you go Hun." Nurse Mindy hands her a pale blue gown. "I need you to change into this and then I'll have the anesthesiologist come in and get you prepped for the procedure, okay?"

She nods, staring down at the gown in her hand. Nurse Mindy leaves the room and Maya heads into the bathroom to change. It doesn't take long for her to get into the gown and when she comes out of the bathroom, her dad is standing in the room while her mom lingers near the door.

"Your dad wanted to get a minute with you before the procedure." It comes out more like a question and her mom looks to her for the okay. She glances over at her dad.

"Sure, that's fine."

"Okay, well I'll be right outside if you need me."

She goes out the door and they both watch her leave before he turns to her.

"I wanted to thank you again for doing this for Sophie."

"No problem," she says, moving over to the chair and taking a seat. There's an awkward silence that settles over them, but her dad seems determined to press on, walking over to the bed and taking a seat across from her.

"I hope you know that I meant everything I said when I first came to see you," he finally manages to say. "I'm trying Maya. I really am but I don't know how to fix this with you."

"You can't fix it," she says. "There's nothing you can do that's going to make up for the fact that I had to grow up without a father no matter how much I wish you could."

"I wish I could too," he says, somberly. "And I know I've said this before but I'm sorry that I've been such a crappy father to you. I'm sorry for not being there for you and for hurting you. It's something that I'll regret for the rest of my life."

Hearing him own up to his years of neglect feels like lifting a weight from her chest.

"I know that I can't make up for the past but I was hoping that maybe we could try to move forward."

She looks away from him, taking a moment to think it over. Is it possible for them to move forward? Is it possible for _her_ to move forward from the past?

"What does moving forward look like," she asks, meeting his eyes again. "How do we do that?"

"Well I know you're spring break is coming up soon and I was thinking that, if you're up to it, you might want to spend it out here with me?"

He looks hopeful as he waits for her answer, but it's one she can't give just yet.

"Can I think about it?"

"Yeah take all the time you need." He gives an understanding nod, standing up from the bed just as a man in a crisp white lab coat walks in.

"Hi, Miss Hart. I'm Doctor Hines, your anesthesiologist for today." He comes over and extends a hand to her before turning to her dad.

"And are you her father?"

Her dad glances back at her uneasily, rubbing at the back of his neck.

"Uh…yeah but I was just on my way out. I'll go grab her mom." He gives her one last look, smiling weakly before heading out the door and she watches him until he's no longer in sight. Out of all the things she's afraid of, letting her dad back into her life is probably number one on the list, but maybe it's a chance she should take.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Hey guys! Just wanted to start off by saying thanks to all of you who take the time out to read my story! And I know I'm not the best at replying to comments but I appreciate every single last comment that you leave for me. :)**

 **So, we're almost at the halfway point in the story so things are about to pick up with the plot and between Lucas and Maya. Hope you guys enjoy the update! :)**

"Maya, sweetie? Can you hear me?"

A voice breaks through the fogginess clouding her head as she struggles to open her eyes against the weight of her eyelids. She hears her name again and the sound pulls her even further into consciousness and eventually it's her mom's exhausted face that comes into focus. Her usually bright eyes are red-rimmed and teary and despite the relief in her smile, her brow creases with worry.

Seeing her mom like this unsettles her in a way she can't quite explain but as she tries to pull herself up, the severe ache radiating through her left hipbone stops her, causing her to wince.

"Oh, baby girl, don't try and move," her mom says gently, running a hand over her head. "Everything's okay. You're okay."

She's too weak to resist so she lays back as her mom suggests but she _knows_ everything's not okay. Something's wrong. And it's not just the intense throbbing in her hip or the way the room seems to be spinning around her. She gets an overwhelming feeling that something bad has happened and her mind automatically gravitates to Sophie. Her fears only worsen when Shawn enters the room with her dad trailing not far behind.

"What's going on?" she blurts out, her voice no more than a raspy whisper. She's not sure if anyone heard her but then Shawn's eyes connect with hers.

"Kiddo," he breathes out, coming over to her and sinking down beside her bed. "You're awake."

"What's going on?" She croaks out, attempting her question again. "Why does everyone look so stressed?"

Her mom and Shawn share a look and her dad averts his eyes, staring down at the ground instead of her.

"Everything's fine," Shawn assures her. "You just gave us a little scare."

"What happened?"

"You had some kind of allergic reaction during the procedure and went into anaphylactic shock," he says gently. "But Doctor Hines was good and caught it early. It just took you a little while to wake up."

She looks from Shawn to her mom.

"How long's a little while?"

Her mom leans over her, her eyes welling with fresh tears.

"A day," she says, her voice cracking slightly. "But you're okay now."

Maya closes her eyes, taking a moment to let her mom's words sink in. A _whole_ day. How could she lose an entire day of her life and not even know it? She takes in a breath to compose herself and when she opens her eyes again her dad is standing on the other side of her bed.

"Maya, I'm so sorry…If I had known that something like this would happen, I never would've…"

He meets her eyes briefly, his expression somber and guilt-ridden but she shakes her head before cutting him off.

"This isn't your fault so don't beat yourself up about it," she says. "I _wanted_ to do this for Sophie. I'm just glad that I could."

As surreal as trying to comfort the man who's spent most of her life MIA is, to her surprise it comes easily. She can't help but wonder how different their relationship would be if he had decided to stick around.

"Thank you," he chokes out, giving her shoulder a light squeeze. "For giving Sophie a second chance and for giving me one too."

She acknowledges his words with a nod and a moment of understanding passes between them. She never imagined that such a grim situation would be the thing to bring her and her dad a little closer but life has a funny way of working out.

"Well I should go check on Sophie," he says after a beat. "But if you get a chance, she'd love to see you once you get released."

He gives her shoulder one last squeeze before turning to go out the door and for the first time she doesn't feel the familiar ache that watching him leave usually brings. After a moment, Shawn follows his lead and moves over to the door.

"I think I'll go let the other kiddos know that Maya's alright."

Maya looks from Shawn to her mom.

"Riley and the guys are still here?"

Somehow in between waking up and learning about what happened to her, her friends had slipped her mind.

"They're in the waiting room," her mom says, turning to her with an understanding smile. "And as soon as the doctor comes and checks you out, you can see them. It'll just be a little while."

"You're alive."

Zay's voice echoes good naturedly into the room as he steps inside, earning a laugh from her and an elbow to the side from a less than amused Farkle. Zay rubs at his side dramatically, his eyes narrowing in Farkle's direction which only makes her laugh harder.

"Yeah Babs, I'm very much alive," she says. "You can't get rid of me that easily."

"Good," he says, moving past Farkle and plopping down in the chair beside her bed. "Because you really scared us Blondie." His tone no longer holds the humor it had before and his face is laced with worry.

"Yeah Maya," Farkle chimes in, moving over by Zay. "I don't think any of us have ever been that scared…especially Lucas."

Zay shoots Farkle an uneasy look, like he's said something he shouldn't have but when she looks over at him, Zay nods in confirmation.

"Not even riding Tombstone the Bull had him this shaken up," Zay admits. "But he's calmed down a lot now that he knows you're okay."

She shakes her head, ignoring the way her heart skips a little.

 _Classic overprotective Huckleberry._

"I hope you guys know how much I appreciate you for being here," she says changing the subject. "I know spending a night in the hospital must've been rough."

"No worse than spending a night in a tent with this guy," Zay says, reaching up and clapping a hand across Farkle's back. Farkle rolls his eyes in good nature before turning to her with a smile.

"We're your best friends Maya. We'd do anything for you."

He pulls her into his arms and Zay leans over, joining in on their embrace. When they pull away, Farkle casts a cursory glance over to the door.

"I know Riley's on her way up so me and Zay should probably head back to the waiting room. Right, Zay?"

Farkle nudges him in the arm and a glance passes between the them. She can't decipher exactly what the look is about but suddenly Zay's getting to his feet.

"Yeah," Zay says quickly. "So, we'll see you later, Blondie. Okay?"

"Okay."

She watches them make their way out and wonders what that weird moment could have been about, but before she has a chance to try and figure it out, Riley appears in the doorway. She has no hesitation in her steps as she rushes over to her. Riley crashes into her and the force causes her to wince as she's pulled into a tight embrace.

"Easy there Riles. Still a little sore here."

"Sorry," she squeaks out, her voice small as she loosens her grip, but she makes no moves to let go. She holds on like Maya might disappear and when she finally pulls away, her eyes are brimming with tears.

"Don't you ever scare me like that again," she scolds halfheartedly. "Okay?"

Maya nods, tears of her own threatening to spill over and she can't even begin to imagine how she'd feel if Riley had been the one lying here instead of her.

"Hey I'm okay Riles," she assures her. "And I'm not going anywhere."

"Not without me you're not."

Riley sits on the edge of her bed, pulling her in for another hug and this time she lets the tears fall, finally surrendering to the stress of the last couple of weeks. Riley strokes her hair, holding her tight but their embrace is interrupted by a knock at the door. When she looks up, her stomach flips at the sight of Josh standing there with a vase of sunflowers in his hand.

"Hi Maya."

"Hi," she answers back in surprise, still trying to process his presence. "I thought you were heading back to campus?"

"I decided to take a detour," he says, an easy smile spreading across his face. "Riley called and told me what happened so I wanted to make sure you were okay."

She looks to Riley in question, but Riley only smiles.

"I'll give you two a minute." She pushes herself up from the bed, giving Maya a supportive pat on the shoulder before walking out of the room. Once she's gone, Maya turns back to Josh but unexpectedly finds herself at a loss for words. She's still a little surprised that he's even here and when she still can't bring herself to say anything, he makes his way over, holding the sunflowers out to her.

"They're your favorite, right?"

She nods, taking the vase from him, and when her eyebrow raises in question on how he possibly could have known that, he only shrugs.

"Riley told me."

"Well you did good, listening to Riley," she says, no longer able to contain her smile. "They're beautiful. Thank you."

For a moment, she stares down at the bright golden petals, allowing herself to indulge in the warmth that spreads through her chest. Given this new side of Josh she's seen this weekend, a part of her feels like things could actually be different between them. It's a feeling she's been fighting since their first conversation at the cabin but she's starting to think that it might be time to stop fighting it. Maybe it's time to give in.

"You know I think it's really great that you did this for your sister," he says, bringing her attention back up to him. "You're a great person Maya and I'm really glad you're okay."

She smiles at that, her stomach summersaulting under the tenderness of his gaze.

"Hey, Josh," she asks, suddenly. "Did you mean what you said at the cabin yesterday? About still wanting someday for us?"

"Yeah. I meant every word of it."

"Well I've been thinking about it and I realized that I want that too."

"Really?" He steps closer, a wide grin spreading across his face. "So, we're still playing the long game?"

Just as she's about to answer him, his phone starts to ring.

"Sorry," he says, slipping his hand into his pocket to pull out his phone and the instant his eyes connect with the screen, he freezes in place. He watches it as it continues to ring but makes no move to answer it.

"You gonna get that?"

He looks up at her distractedly.

"Uh yeah…I probably should…" He says, managing to give a halfhearted smile before turning toward the door. "I'll be right back."

Josh walks out and she forces herself to shake off his odd behavior, not ready to let whatever that was fill her with doubts. She glances down again at the sunflowers still resting in her lap, her smile returning before she leans over and places them on her bedside table. When she turns back, her gaze shifts up to see Lucas standing in the doorway. He looks more exhausted than she's ever seen him, but the instant he sees her, every last bit of him seems to relax.

"You're okay," he breathes out. "You're really okay."

He makes his way over to her and much like Riley did, pulls her in for a hug. His embrace is gentle and warm and he holds on longer than she expects but when he pulls away she immediately feels the absence of his arms around her. He seems absorbed in some thought as he stares back at her but his gaze softens as he pulls out a pale blue envelope from his back pocket.

"I got you a card but um…you don't have to read it right now."

He holds it out to her, watching nervously as she goes to take it.

"Thank you, Huckleberry," she says, placing it next to the flowers. "That was very sweet."

He smiles in response but he's seems to be leaving something unsaid as he perches himself on the edge of her bed. She can see whatever it is dancing behind his eyes as he stares at her.

"Sorry that took—"

Suddenly, Josh walks back into the room, stopping short when he sees the two of them settled on her bed.

"Oh, I didn't mean to interrupt anything," he says, rubbing at the back of his neck. "I just came to say goodbye to Maya."

He turns to her and although he seems a little uneasy about Lucas' presence, he doesn't let it stop him from making his way over to her. Lucas on the other hand, is up and heading across the room before Josh can even make it to the bed. She can't tell if he's uncomfortable or just annoyed but it's obvious that he's bothered by Josh being there.

"I have to get going but I'll see ya soon Maya," Josh says, holding his hand out to her. "If that's okay with you?"

She nods, taking his extended hand into hers.

"It's more than okay," she says with a smile.

"So, someday?"

"Yeah, someday."

She lets her hand slip away from his as he backs away to the door and as Josh turns to leave, she feels _good_ , but then she chances a peek at Lucas. Although his expression is indecipherable, she can tell that he's struggling to bite his tongue.

"Lucas if you have something to say, just say it."

"I'd rather not," he answers back, carefully. "I don't want to upset you."

"You won't," she assures him. "So just tell me. I want to know."

It's not exactly the truth. The last thing she wants is to hear his opinion on her and Josh but getting him to talk seems like the best way to move past the awkwardness wedged between them. He seems to debate whether he should say anything at all and his expression is wary as he stares back at her.

"I can't believe you're back to playing the long game," he muses, almost more to himself than to her.

"Me either," she confesses, a humorless laugh escaping her lips.

"Then what happened? Because I don't get it. One day you're talking about quitting the long game and the next you're right back where you started."

"Things changed," she says. "Besides didn't Matthews tell us to go out and change our history? Maybe that's what I'm doing with Josh."

Lucas shakes his head.

"Mr. Matthews also said that we have to decide what's worth fighting for. Are you sure that's Josh?"

This time she wavers, breaking her eye contact with him. Who knows if taking this chance on Josh will be worth it but how will she if she doesn't at least try?

"I don't know," she finally admits. "But he could be."

Lucas lets out a breath and sinks down to the seat beside her bed and to her something feels off. She knows that he's just looking out for her, but she can't seem to shake the feeling that it's something more than that.

"Look, I know Josh isn't your favorite person but it's not like he's a bad guy," she says. "I don't get why you're this upset."

He glances up at her and she doesn't know if she's imagining it but he looks _sad_.

"It's just…I just…" He struggles to get the words out but ends up letting out a frustrated breath instead. "I just think you deserve better than that Maya."

His voice is lower than before but still just as intense and his eyes never leave hers.

"Lucas I already told you that you don't have to worry about me," she reassures him. "I'm fine."

"But don't you want more than that?"

He leans in a little closer and her breath hitches at his intense gaze, once again finding herself spellbound by seafoam green. It seems to take every bit of will she has to pull herself out of it, taking in a breath in an attempt to settle the weird fluttering in her stomach.

"Look Lucas," she finally says. "I don't know what's gonna happen with me and Josh but right now _this_ is what I want."

"Okay," he says, giving into a nod. "If you're happy then don't let me stand in your way. You are happy, right?"

She's quick to nod and Lucas seems to sink down in acceptance.

"Then that's all that matters," he says sincerely, giving her a weak smile. "That's all I want."

"Thank you, Lucas. You're a good friend."

He nods thoughtfully at that, his face softening into one of his Huckleberry smiles, and he stands, leaning over to hug her. His face ends up buried in her hair, hers in his shoulder and she relaxes into him. With his arms wrapped around her, for a moment it feels like everything's going to be alright. But then she feels him reach behind her and when he pulls away she gets a glimpse of her card in his hand.

"What are you doing?"

He seems taken back by her question.

"Nothing," he says quickly. "But I think I should head back to the waiting room. I know Riley really wants to come back up."

He starts to back away towards the door and she watches him slightly amused, her eyes narrowing at his odd behavior.

"Then where are you going with my card, Huckleberry?"

He stops at that, opening his mouth to speak but no words come out and his eyes seem to search the room for an answer.

"Oh…uh nowhere," he finally says, walking back over and setting the card back beside the flowers. He eyes the card before bringing his eyes back up to her. "Well I should probably go so I'll see you later Maya."

He walks out the room quickly, rubbing at the back of his neck and she watches him, wondering what in the world just happened. She reaches over and grabs the card, hoping that it can give her some answers.

"Miss Hart?"

She looks up and Nurse Mindy is standing in the doorway, a blood pressure cart at her side and her usual cheery grin spread across her face.

"So, good news," she says, pushing the cart over to Maya's bed. "We're almost ready to release you. I just need to give your vitals a quick check first."

"Sounds good," Maya says, slipping the card back on to the bedside table.

"So, the cutie who just left your room? Is he your boyfriend?" Mindy asks, rolling the sleeve of Maya's gown up and wrapping the pressure cuff snugly around her arm.

"You mean Lucas? We're just friends," she says easily.

Mindy glances down at her, a knowing smile playing at her lips.

"Could've fooled me."

It's not the first time someone's thought that her and Lucas were dating but her eyebrow still quirks up in question.

"What do you mean?"

Mindy shrugs, pulling out the thermometer as the cuff continues to tighten around Maya's arm.

"Guess I just assumed that the adorable guy who spent all night sneaking up here to check on you was your boyfriend," she says, sticking the thermometer under Maya's tongue. "I kept having to tell him to leave but the poor guy was so worried that I ended up letting him stay. He spent the whole night by your side."

Maya's eyes widen in surprise and she's grateful for the thermometer in her mouth because she can't seem to find any words to respond.

"It's obvious that he really cares about you," Mindy continues as the blood pressure monitor goes off, slowly releasing the pressure on Maya's arm. "And that's not easy to find so I say boyfriend, friend, or whatever he is, you should hold on to him."

A small beep sounds off from the thermometer and Mindy takes it from Maya's mouth to check the reading, giving off a hum of approval before placing it back onto the cart. She turns back to Maya, beaming.

"Everything looks great so I'll let the doctor know and you should be getting the green light to go home real soon."

Maya gives her a nod and what she hopes is a smile, but her mind is still on what she's just heard about Lucas. She watches absentmindedly as Mindy packs up and makes her way over to the door.

"I don't mean to meddle," Mindy says, stopping in the doorway. "But Lucas really seems like something special. You should think about what I said."

"Yeah maybe I will," Maya answers back softly. Maybe she will.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: First, I want to start by saying, I'M BACK! lol. Sorry it's been such a looonnnngg time since I've updated my story but life's been crazy these past few months with school and work. Since the semester's over I should be able to post more consistently. Secondly, I want to thank everyone for sticking with me and being patient. Even though, GMW's been cancelled :( I still plan on finishing this story and I hope you guys stay with me until I do. I hope you enjoy the update! :)**

"Come on you stupid thing!"

Maya slams her palm into the old vending machine, watching as her pack of skittles hangs tauntingly from its D3 slot. It's the third time this week that she's made the mistake of stopping here and now after wasting fifteen minutes hammering her fists into the rundown thing, she's left staring helplessly into its streaky plexiglass display. She lets out a groan, just about ready to accept defeat and count herself out of a dollar, but as she sends one last frustrated kick against the vending machine's side, her skittles finally fall free.

"About time," she mumbles, leaning over to grab it before opening the pack and dumping a load of skittles into her mouth. She all but dances as she makes her down the hall, humming happily to herself as the tangy sugar twirls over her taste buds.

Unlike the rest of her classmates, she takes a detour away from the cafeteria, rounding a corner as the art room comes into view. The sight of it alone is enough to make her breathe a little easier but as she slips safely behind the door, seeing Zay perched comfortably in her seat and chatting with Mr. Jackson makes her pause.

"Speaking of our gifted little artist," he says, swiveling around in the stool to face her. "So, _this_ is where you've been hiding out."

Although his tone carries its usual lightheartedness, he still raises an accusing eyebrow her way and she rolls her eyes in what she hopes is good nature.

"Nobody's hiding out," she says, stuffing her skittles into her pocket and heading over to grab her half-finished canvas from the drying rack. "I happen to have something called a deadline. The art exhibit, remember?"

She moves over and sets the canvas on the easel in front him, trying and failing to shoo him from her seat. To annoy her, he makes it a point to get up extremely slow and it takes everything in her not to yank him up by the collar of his shirt. Instead, she glances over at Mr. Jackson for back and he turns slightly to look at her from his spot at the sink.

"I was just explaining to Mr. Babineaux how big of a deal this exhibit is for you," he says, giving her a small smile before turning back to wash out the brushes from that morning's class.

"Yeah, well getting the chance to have my art shown in an actual museum…" She shakes her head a little. "I still can't believe it."

And considering that she let the deadline pass without submitting anything to even be considered for the exhibit, she's not exactly sure how she was chosen. She had asked Mr. Jackson as much when he told her she'd be the student representing Abagail Adams in the exhibit and he'd given her some vague response about submitting one of her older pieces. When she asked which one, he was all too happy to change the subject. She had thought it was odd to say the least, but was so excited about the opportunity that she brushed it off completely. Still, even now she wonders how she could have been so lucky.

"Well you definitely deserve it Maya," Zay assures her, giving her shoulder a light squeeze as he finally moves out of her way so that she can sit.

"You definitely do Ms. Hart," Mr. Jackson adds. "You've earned this."

She slides onto the stool, giving each of them a grateful smile, not realizing how much she needed to hear those words until now. Lately, all she can think about is not being good enough to represent the school, about her art not measuring up, about failing miserably but for now those doubts slowly fade into the back of her mind.

"You know Ms. Hart," Mr. Jackson continues, shutting off the facet and laying the freshly washed brushes out on a paper towel. "Only a true artist has the ability to make a person feel what they're feeling or can give a person a view of the world through their eyes. You have that."

He continues on as he moves over to the organized chaos of sketchbooks, tubes of paint, and a stack of the class' self-portraits littered across his desk.

"It's a real gift and you're lucky to have it," he says, pausing long enough to share a look with Zay. " _But_ you have been spending a lot of time holed up in this room. Don't be afraid to give yourself a break, okay? Sometimes taking a step back is just as important as picking up the brush."

She nods in acknowledgement, exhaling a small 'okay' in return and he seems satisfied enough with this to return to sifting through his clutter. When he finally finds his keys tucked away in a cup of paintbrushes he plucks them from their hiding spot before reaching for his lunch bag.

"I guess the room's all yours Ms. Hart," he says, stepping over to the door. "Try not to throw too much paint around."

She breathes out a soft chuckle as she tells him he has nothing to worry about, watching as he makes his way out into the hallway. It's only when the door shuts softly behind him that she turns back to her canvas. With her canvas in front of her and a paintbrush in hand, she tries her best to ignore that Zay's watching her as she dips her brush into a dab of yellow paint. For a moment, she just wants to pretend like he isn't here, like she doesn't know exactly what he's come to say.

"So how long do you plan on hiding out here?"

His voice interrupts the silence she is more than comfortable to stay in but she doesn't chance a look at him.

"Can't a girl work on her art without something being wrong?" she asks, continuing to focus on the way her hand moves the paintbrush across the canvas.

"Sure, she can, if she wasn't avoiding her friends."

She exhales a half-hearted laugh, her eyes fighting to avoid his gaze as he gingerly steps into her line of sight.

"I'm not avoiding anyone."

"Not even Lucas?" he asks gently and her hand stops mid-stroke, the brush grasped clumsily between her fingers as she finally allows herself to meet his eyes. It's the question she's been waiting for, the one she's been expecting but still it catches her off guard. She's unable to find the words to even respond but as she opens her mouth in an attempt to deny his claim, she's met with a knowing look settled on his features. It's a look that seems to say, "Who are you kidding Blondie?"

The small sympathetic smile that slowly appears on his face destroys whatever remains of her façade and she lets her hands fall into her lap with her eyes following not far behind. As much as she'd like to say that spending every waking moment within these four walls is only because of the exhibit, she knows it's about a lot more than that.

"Come on Maya, I think you can take a break from painting long enough to grab lunch with your best friends," he says, carefully pulling the brush from her fingers and setting it down on the easel. "Besides our favorite little ball of sunshine is going through Maya withdrawals and driving the rest of us crazy."

She feels his eyes on her as he waits patiently for her answer and she lets out a long, defeated breath before slowly getting to her feet.

"Fine, you win. Happy, now?"

"Very."

He seems extremely pleased with himself as he throws his arm around her and leads her across the room and out the door. She's reluctant as first, practically dragging her feet beside him but as they step out into the deserted hallway, there's almost something comforting about having Zay's arm still slung over her shoulders as a relaxed silence tucks itself between them.

She wishes the feeling would last but the closer she gets to facing the group the more her thoughts start to gravitate to all the things she's been avoiding these last couple of weeks; namely Lucas. Since the group's weekend Upstate, there's been a noticeable distance between them and Lucas seems perfectly content to keep it there. Lately, the only time he's comfortable around her is when the two of them are surrounded by their friends and on the off chance they're ever left alone, he's quick to make an excuse to get away.

It's been bothering her more than she cares to admit but she figures for now, giving Lucas some space is the best thing for the both of them. Which is exactly why she's the opposite of thrilled at having to sit across from him at lunch and pretend like everything's okay, even with the rest of their friends there.

Just thinking about it makes her tired and she lets out a sigh, desperate for a distraction. Unfortunately, that distraction comes in the form of the sappy posters lining the walls; each one of them advertising the upcoming Spring Formal. One in particular catches her eye and she has to fight back the urge to gag.

 _A Starry Night: Spend a Night under the Stars with Someone Special!_

Underneath the words is a sloppy take on Van Gogh's _Starry Night_ , the scene serving as the background to the silhouette of a kissing couple. She almost can't stomach how sickeningly sweet it is and imagines Van Gogh turning over in his grave at his art being turned into the theme for a cheesy high school dance.

"So, I see you're excited about the Spring Formal," Zay teases, nodding his head in the direction of another equally terrible poster.

"Yeah right," she scoffs, glancing over at him briefly. "If Riley wasn't a part of planning this stupid thing I wouldn't even be going."

"Me either," he admits. "These dances are always pretty lame, but I don't know? It could be fun."

Her face scrunches up in disgust at his suggestion that the Spring Formal will be anything but awful and she wonders how he can be so selective with his memory. Especially, when every last dance they've gone to since coming to this school has been boring at the very least and a complete failure at the worst.

"Seriously," she challenges. "Every one of these dances so far have been a disaster. I don't see why this one would be any different."

Memories of getting her feet stomped on during awkward slow dances with clumsy boys and having some random senior girl hold her hair back while she puked because she'd drank way too much spiked punch bombard her mind. Not to mention, spending a whole night with Riley and Lucas, hovering between being forgotten and being the third wheel; trying her hardest to find a place that didn't put her in the middle of her best friend's relationship. The not so good ole days as she likes to refer to them and although things are different now she isn't any less uneasy about going to the Formal. Still, that doesn't stop Zay from trying his best to reassure her.

"You never know, it could be different this time," he says, giving her shoulder a playful shake. "I mean come on. What happened to the hopeful Maya we all know and love?"

"She's on vacation," she deadpans and it earns her a look from Zay that borders a bit too close to concern.

"I'm serious Maya."

"So am I," she insists, giving him the sincerest look she can muster. "She's somewhere warm and sunny and far away from here."

 _Where she belongs,_ she wants to say because sometimes it's just too hard trying to be hopeful all the time. Because sometimes she just needs a break.

"Well, maybe she can cut this vacay of hers short," he says, deciding to indulge her. "Because I think we'd both have a lot more fun going to the dance together."

He sounds completely serious despite the humor in his voice and she looks over at him with a playful raise of her eyebrow, a smirk pulling at her lips.

"Wait, are you asking me to the Spring Formal?"

She stares up at him, her brow creasing in uncertainty and in return he jokingly bumps her with his hip.

"Hey, don't look at me like that. I just thought that since me and Vanessa broke up and you and Josh are back to playing the long game, we could go together."

He continues on with listing off the many other reasons why going together is a good idea but her mind stops at his casual mention of Josh. Mostly because she hadn't exactly gotten around to telling Zay about what happened between the two of them and only partly because it's the first time Josh has crossed her mind in a while. Either way she's left mute, if only for a moment, and the instant he notices the way she tenses underneath his arm, he quickly tries to take it all back.

"You know what, never mind," he says letting his arm fall from around her. "Forget I said that."

He walks slightly ahead of her, trying to avoid her confused gaze but she catches him by the arm before he can get any further.

"Not so fast Babinaeux," she says, pulling him back to face her. "How do you even know about that?"

His confidence wavers for only a moment before his usual charm pours out in the form of a smirk.

"What? You didn't know about the mystical all-knowing power of Zay?"

She rolls her eyes, annoyed with his cheeky reply but despite not giving her an actually answer she suddenly knows exactly how he could have found out.

"Lucas," she says, her voice lifting only slightly in question. "He told you."

Zay shrugs.

"I can neither confirm nor deny that."

"Of course, not." She sighs, pushing a frustrated hand through her hair. "So, what? You're going to try and talk me out of it too?"

He pauses for a moment, letting his smirk soften into a genuine smile before linking his arm with hers and resuming their walk toward the cafeteria.

"Nope, not my style," he says simply. He tries to leave it at that, but something about being let off the hook so easily leaves her skeptical.

"So, you're telling me that you don't have an opinion on this? No Babinaeux wisdom to pass down?"

He shrugs once again as they turn around a corner and the cafeteria finally comes into sight at the end of the hall.

"Look, I just hope you know what you're doing Maya."

His words echo the one question she's been asking herself throughout this whole thing and if she's being honest, she wants to tell him that she has no clue what she's doing. Instead, she settles for a soft 'Yeah me too', holding on to his arm a little tighter and letting her head fall against his shoulder as they step into the cafeteria.

"If your offer still stands, I'd really like to go to the dance with you," she breaks in suddenly, not bothering to lift her head. "Just promise me we can skip the whole corsage thing, no matching outfits, and definitely no cheesy pictures, okay?"

His body shakes with a laugh.

"Sure thing Blondie," he says. "That I can definitely do."

She starts to thank him for asking as they get closer to the group's usual table but Riley's head turns just in time to see the two of them approaching and she's up and out of her seat before Maya can even untangle her arm from Zay's. The rest of the group turns to see what's pulled Riley from her seat so suddenly but Maya barely gets out a hello before Riley's long limbs are wrapping around her.

"Oh, Peaches you're really here," she exclaims, bringing Maya in even closer to her than she thought possible and when Riley finally pulls away, her brown eyes search hers carefully before shifting over to Zay.

"I don't know what you did or said to bring my Peaches back but thank you Zay."

He grins in the face of Riley's gratefulness, moving around the table to slip into the seat next to Lucas.

"You're very welcome, Sugar."

His words are returned with a blush that creeps across Riley's cheek, her usual response to his little nickname for her, and Maya can't help but smile at her adorable best friend. When Riley finally turns her attention back to her, her expression is soft as she links their arms together and pulls Maya down into the seat next to hers.

"But seriously Peaches," Riley says, curiosity reflecting in her brown eyes. "How did he convince you to come?"

Maya shrugs, glancing across the table at Zay and somehow catching Lucas' eye in the process. She lets herself linger on him for a moment too long and regrets it the instant she's met with a tight-lipped smile; his mouth a small straight line.

"The power of Zay?" she says, tearing her eyes away from Lucas to look at the group. "Apparently, he's magic."

"Yeah either that or he managed to wear you down," Farkle chimes in with a laugh and Smackle nods in agreement.

"Yes, that sounds far more likely than Zay possessing some supernatural power," Smackle concurs. "He can be rather pertinacious at times."

"Perta-what?"

Maya turns to Farkle to translate, her nose scrunching up slightly in confusion. The rest of the group seems to share in her bemusement, each of them wearing their own puzzled expressions.

"Persistent. She means persistent."

Everyone nods, an 'Oh, okay' making its way around the table as their faces relax in understanding but Smackle is quick to correct them.

"Actually Beloved, I was leaning more towards stubborn but I guess persistent works as well."

Zay only looks partly insulted as his hand comes up to his chest in mock offense.

"Wow, thanks Smackle," he mutters and Maya and Riley both giggle, Riley shaking her head at Smackle's bluntness.

"Well, either way, I think we might have to start calling you the Maya whisperer," Riley says. "You're one of the few people she actually listens to."

Maya glances over at Zay and although she's still trying to avoid looking at Lucas, it doesn't escape her notice when he shifts uncomfortably in his seat at Riley's admission, suddenly very interested in the mashed potatoes on his tray.

"I guess if I have to share my best friend with someone, I'm glad that it's you," Riley says thoughtfully but there's something about her words or her tone or the way she's looking between Maya and Zay that causes Maya to turn to her in question. Before she can say anything though, Riley's expression darkens a little as her sight sets on Zay.

"But just know," Riley continues, her eyes zeroed in on him. "I'm still watching you Babineaux. You got that?"

She gives him the most menacing glare that her sunshiny demeanor will allow before returning a bright smile to her face. Zay seems just as confused as Maya is about where Riley's going with all this but still he answers with a quick "Got it", shuddering a little at Riley's intensity. It isn't long before a weird energy settles over the table as the rest of the group looks between Maya and Zay and Lucas finally lifts his head, staring at his best friend with an expression Maya can't quite read.

"So, anything new with you guys?" she asks as casually as she can, desperate to take the focus off her. "Catch me up."

"Well we were thinking about holding a bake sale next week," Farkle jumps in quickly. "You know to help Riley raise money for the Spring Formal's budget."

"Yes," Riley says enthusiastically. "And I was hoping that I could count on my wonderful, talented, beautiful best friend to help me."

Riley smiles at her sweetly, all doe eyes and sweetness and Maya caves before she can even give her an answer.

"Sure. Anything you want Honey."

"I was hoping you'd say that," Riley says, throwing an arm around Maya. "Because I was really hoping that Hart and Friar's muffins could make a comeback."

Riley looks between her and Lucas hopefully but Maya's smile instantly falls from her face as she and Lucas share an unease look.

"Really Riles?" she questions warily. "Aren't you forgetting that nobody even liked our muffins. We couldn't even give them away."

"Yeah, the class was literally throwing them back in our faces," Lucas adds, quickly. "Maya almost lost an eye. Twice."

It's the first words out of his mouth since she's sat down and of course, being the Huckleberry that he is, his first concern would be about her getting plummeted in the face by a muffin. It's almost funny how genuine he is after everything. Still, she can't ignore the way her stomach dips in disappointment at how quickly he jumps in to try and avoid having to spend time with her. Not that she isn't doing the exact same thing.

Because as much as she wants to figure out why he's been acting so strange lately, she doesn't want to spend an entire afternoon alone with him to do it. Knowing Riley though, she isn't going to get let off the hook so easily.

"Maybe you two are exaggerating just a bit," Riley says carefully. "It really wasn't that bad."

"Oh, it really was," Farkle chimes in with a slight smirk, probably remembering just how much of a disaster Maya and Lucas' muffin business was compared to his and Riley's. Riley, however, is not amused and sends a disapproving look his way.

"Not helping Farkle," she says, the impatience evident in her voice. "Besides, everything turned out okay. Once the class gave your muffins a chance everyone thought they were great."

Maya all but falls silent under the weight of her best friend's expectant eyes, Riley's encouragement not enough to sway her reluctance.

"Oh, come on Maya," Riley pleads, when she still hasn't said anything. "Everyone's baking something." She motions around the table at the rest of the group and they all nod in confirmation. "Farkle and Smackle. Even Zay agreed to bake his grandma's chocolate chip cookie recipe."

Maya glances around the table, her bottom lip finding its way between her teeth as she looks over to Lucas in question, wondering if Riley's pushing is enough to get him to agree to this.

"You know what Riley, we're in," he says in answer, his eyes still on Maya. "We'd be happy to do it."

Riley's face breaks out into a grin but Maya raises an eyebrow at him, perplexed at his sudden willingness.

"We would?"

A small smile falls on his lips—the first real smile he's given her in weeks—and his head dips in the tiniest of nods.

"Sure, we would."

She nods, no less uncertain than before, but finally resigning herself to the reality that her and Lucas will be spending some time together. Whether she wants to or not. The only thing that makes up for this fact is seeing the relief that washes over Riley. Knowing that at least her best friend is happy is all that matters to her and Lucas seems to share in her opinion because when Riley lets out an enthusiastic 'Yay', clasping her hands together in excitement, his face melts into a grin.

"Thank you," Riley says, reaching over to grab Maya's hand as she takes in the group. "I couldn't do this without any of you."

Her words are pointed as her eyes come to rest on Maya, who squeezes her hand in return.

"And you'd never have to," Maya says.

"Yeah Riley," Farkle says, echoing her sentiment. "We'll always be here for you."

Riley's smile is sweet and bright as she turns to him, the look in her eyes enough to convey her gratitude for his words. Their eyes linger on each other for a moment longer before they both turn back to the table, seeming to remember that it isn't just the two of them.

"Well, I don't usually get excited about school dances," Zay cuts in, his eyes moving over to the slight frown on Smackle's face. "But this is one I think I can get behind."

His purposeful change of subject doesn't go unnoticed by Smackle and a shadow of a smile appears on her lips, her brow relaxing somewhat.

"And why is that?" she asks, her eyes sparkling behind her glasses.

"Because we all get to be a part of making it happen," Zay says. "And because of that, there's no way it won't be fun."

Smackle smiles even wider at that and everyone seems to agree, an optimistic anticipation falling over the group at the things to come.

"You know what Zay? You're right," Riley says. "As long as we're all together, that's all that matters."

The group huddles in close and a warmth spreads through Maya's stomach because as much as she tries to fight it at times, no words have ever been truer.

After an uneventful history class, the group goes their separate ways; Farkle and Smackle off to prepare for some upcoming debate, Zay headed to his weekly ballet class and Riley held up in some student council meeting. Lucas, on the other hand, was vague about how he planned on spending the rest of his afternoon so when Maya makes a last-minute stop at her locker, she's surprised to find him waiting for her.

"Hey," he breathes out.

"Well hello to you too Sundance," she says casually, moving past him to get to her locker. "Do I have a notebook of yours that I don't know about? Or is there something else I can do for you?"

She continues with putting in her combination and there's a considerable pause as he lets out a long slow breath.

"Actually, I wanted to make sure you were okay with the whole Hart and Friar muffins thing."

She shrugs, rummaging through a mass of books and papers and although she can't see him with her head buried in her locker, it isn't hard to imagine the guilty expression plastered on his face.

"Look, you already said we'd do it," she says, pulling her Spanish book free from a stack of notebooks. "So, I guess I have to be."

She tucks the book underneath her arm and shuts her locker before turning back to face him and when she does he's watching her uneasily, his hands running up and down the strap of his bag.

"I'm sorry about that," he says. "And if you're not up for it I can always bake them myself."

She shakes her head, laughing a little in spite of herself as she leans back against her locker.

"I wouldn't do that to you Ranger Rick," she says, giving him a reassuring smile. "Besides, if Riley's happy then so am I. So, don't worry about it."

He looks a lot more relieved than she expects him to be and if she didn't know any better maybe even a little happy as he stares down at her.

"Thanks Maya," he says softly and although she isn't sure why her stomach flips just the tiniest bit. She's quick to dismiss whatever the feeling is, doing her best to ignore it as she pushes herself upright.

"I should probably get going," she finally says, taking a few steps in the direction of the exit. "But I guess I'll be seeing you later."

"You'd guess right," he answers back with a smile and she returns it with one of her own before turning around completely to walk away. She doesn't have to glance back to know that he's still behind her, watching as she goes so she keeps walking, only sending back a small wave once she reaches the exit door. Although, she's still unsure about what's going on with him or with the two of them, somehow, she's a little less reluctant about having to spend time with him. And she figures, for now, that's a start.


	18. Chapter 18

Maya pulls her thin denim jacket closer to her body to stop the chill making its way up her spine, but the gesture only presses her damp t-shirt further into her skin. The shiver it causes seems to travel right down to the bone and she instantly lets go, returning her hand to the tea sitting untouched in her lap. It's just her luck that she'd get caught up in a sudden downpour on her way to meet Riley at Topanga's, but considering the kind of day she's having she's not all that surprised. Getting drenched is just one thing on the long list of things not going her way today and as she sits slumped down and shivering in her chair she knows that unfortunately the worst is yet to come. Because after suffering through one of the worst Mondays she's had in a while, she now has to spend the rest of her afternoon with a certain blond Texan.

To say she's been dreading it is beyond an understatement and although she hates to admit it, she's been on edge the entire day because of it. Even the familiar comfort of the small bakery and the bubbly magic that is Riley Matthews is doing little to calm her fraying nerves. In fact, as each minute slips into the next, the unease she's been trying to keep buried since she sat down only settles itself further into the pit of her stomach.

It almost feels like she's caught in some crazy limbo where time is both passing way too fast and not nearly fast enough. She isn't sure if it's because she wishes she could delay this whole thing or maybe she just wishes she could hurry up and put this awful day behind her. Either way, the feeling has her watching the door and it's almost like there's some magnetic force pulling her eyes in its direction every time someone walks through it.

"Hey, are you even listening to me?"

Maya pulls her eyes away from a couple of NYU students coming through the door to see Riley looking at her over the rim of her glass, her straw poised just outside her mouth.

"I'm sorry Riles," she says with a sigh, tucking a stand of damp hair behind her ear. "What did you say?"

"Well," Riley starts slowly, still eyeing her in question. "I was asking you how things are going with your dad."

There's a pause like Riley wants to say more but instead she pulls the straw back between her lips and takes a long, generous sip of her smoothie as she waits for her answer.

While she waits, Maya takes a moment to consider the question. It's funny to think that just a few weeks ago she couldn't even stomach the idea of being in the same room with her dad, but since her weekend Upstate things feel different. He seems different.

"You know," she finally says, staring down into her tea. "It feels weird to say but it's been good. Really good actually. We've talked pretty much every day since I've been back."

"That's awesome Maya."

The enthusiasm in Riley's voice pulls her attention up from her mug and when looks up she's met with Riley's face beaming bright and hopeful across from her. She tries to return the smile but can't seem to get her mouth to cooperate. Instead, she feels her mouth stretch into a small tight line and before she has a chance to fix it, Riley notices. Her own smile dims slightly when she does and she sets her nearly empty glass down on the coffee table.

"Why don't you seem happier about this?"

"I am happy," she says, trying to reassure her. "It's just that this whole having a relationship with my dad thing is still new to me. I don't want to get too excited before I know whether he's serious about this or not."

Riley gives her a nod.

"Yeah, I get that." She pauses. "Do you think he is serious this time?"

Maya searches her mind for an answer and somewhere deep down inside she wants to say yes. As afraid as she is to accept that this might be real, she can't deny that her dad is finally making a serious effort to be in her life. Even her mom can see it. Still, there's something holding her back from admitting it out loud. So, instead of saying yes like she wants to she settles for 'maybe'. Thankfully her answer seems to be enough for Riley because she doesn't push her on it.

"And what about Sophie?" Riley asks after a moment. "How's she doing?"

Maya shakes her head a little.

"I know this sounds bad but I'm not really sure…as far as I know, she's okay."

She instantly feels guilty for not being able to give Riley a better answer, but her not knowing about what's going on with Sophie is definitely not from a lack of trying to find out. Anytime she asks her dad about her though, all she gets are the same generic responses. It's always 'she's hanging in there' or 'she's doing okay' but the sadness in his voice always gives him away. Sophie on the other hand, is a little better at sounding convincing, and if she didn't sound so weak and brittle every time she insisted that she's doing fine, Maya just might believe her.

So, even though she doesn't know what's going on, she can sense that _something_ is going on and everything in her cynical little heart is telling her that it's something bad. Still, she'd promised herself not to worry unless she had a reason to so she lets out a breath, trying to push away that nagging feeling tugging at her insides.

"So," she says, clearing her throat, desperate to change the subject. "What about you Riles? How's everything going with planning the Spring Formal?"

Being the caring best friend that she is, Riley's eyes still hold a measure of concern as she stares back at her, but after a moment she shakes away the look, her mouth quirking up slightly.

"Great," Riley gushes. "We got the food catered from this cute little Italian bistro on the Lower Eastside and I swear Peaches, the decorations would make Van Gogh himself applaud from the grave. I can't wait until everyone gets to see everything come together. It's going to be so romantic."

A happy little sigh escapes her lips as she stares off dreamily but soon her mouth turns down into a frown.

"Or at least it would be if I actually had a date," she says, letting out a dejected sigh. "I've been waiting for weeks and nobody's asked me. At this point, I'm just pathetic."

"Not having a date doesn't make you pathetic," Maya says, trying her best to comfort her best friend, but Riley only waves her off.

"Sure, it does," she says, sinking back into her chair. "I mean I'm planning this dance and now I have to show up to it completely alone."

Maya fights the urge to roll her eyes at Riley's overly dramatic tone. She tries to remind herself how important this is to her.

"Oh, come on. You know you're never alone. You always got me." She playfully nudges her with her shoulder and Riley pushes herself upright in her seat.

"You're right," she says, a soft smile aimed at Maya. "I'll always have you."

Riley looks at her for a moment longer and Maya can almost see the wheels turning in her head.

"I have an idea," she says, the brightness returning to her eyes. "Why don't we just go together? You can be my date."

Riley grins at her, the excitement dancing behind her smile and Maya instantly feels her insides sink with guilt.

"Actually Honey," she starts, chewing on her bottom lip, "I already told Zay that I'd go with him."

The disappointment that flashes on Riley's face is enough to make her want to take back her words.

'Oh' is all Riley manages to say as her bottom lip comes out in a pout and Maya's mind instantly tries to find some way to work this all out. Letting Riley down is the last thing she wants to do. Maybe Zay wouldn't mind if she rain-checked their date and went with Riley instead. Or maybe—

"Hey, it's okay," Riley says, seeming to sense the thoughts trampling through her mind. She places a reassuring hand on Maya's knee. "Really."

"You sure? Because I could always—"

"I'm sure," Riley says, once again cutting her off before she can finish. "I'm happy for you."

Riley's smile is genuine and relief washes over Maya.

"I promise you won't be alone at this dance." She throws her arm around Riley. "Even if you have to third wheel it with me and Zay, okay?"

She laughs a little and Riley lets out a groan before busting out into fit of giggles.

"Yeah okay," she says, returning Maya's embrace by resting her head against her shoulder. After a moment though, she pulls away to look at her, something twinkling behind her eyes.

"Speaking of Zay…"

A goofy grin makes its way to Riley's face and her voice is laced with the same something it held that day at lunch, dripping in some secret meaning.

"Yeah…what about him?"

"Oh, I don't know," Riley says, clasping her hands together dramatically. "Between him asking you to the Spring Formal and the movie nights and hanging out all the time, it seems like there's something going on with you two."

Riley stares at her expectantly, waiting for her to confirm her speculation, but Maya only lets out a laugh in response. The laugh continues until she is doubled over and breathless, nearly spilling the tea still sitting in her lap and Riley's expectant look turns to a frown.

"Wait, why are you laughing?"

"Because," she gasps, wiping at her watery eyes with the back of her hand. "you think that there's something going on between me and Zay."

She shakes her head, continuing to laugh as Riley's frown deepens the crease in her forehead.

"Is that so crazy?" Riley asks. "To think that two people who spend so much time together might like each other?"

"It is when you're talking about me and Zay," she says, finally getting her laugher under control. "We're just friends. Besides, I like Josh remember?"

Riley pauses for a second, leaning forward a little as she regards her carefully.

"Do you?"

Riley's patient eyes search Maya's in question and for some reason it all feels oddly familiar. The feel of Riley's knees knocking against hers, the way Riley asks like she already knows the answer, the way the air feels charged around them; all of it pulls Maya under an unexpected wave of déjà vu. Suddenly it's a year ago and her and Riley are sitting in the bay window as Riley questions her feelings for another boy.

"What do you mean? Of course, I like him," she says finally, pulling herself out of the memory. "You should know that better than anyone."

"Yeah but that's just it Maya. I'm not sure how you feel anymore. You don't talk about Josh like you used to and you barely even bring him up. Honestly, it's like you forget that he even exists."

Maya starts to disagree but falters, the denial stuck on the tip of her tongue.

"That's…That's not…"

"True?" Riley asks, quick to fill in the silence her hesitation leaves. "Because I think it is Peaches. I know you've liked Josh for a long time but things seem different now…you seem different."

Riley's words sit between them and although she can't deny that there's some truth in them, Maya is certain that her best friend is wrong. Sure, she isn't the same girl who used to jump on Josh's back or the same girl who'd turn into a lovesick puppy at the mere sight of him, but that doesn't mean she doesn't like him. And of course, things are different now. She's grown up a lot over the last three years. But just because she's different doesn't mean her feelings for Josh are.

And despite all of these being completely valid arguments, she can't seem to form her mouth around the words needed to get them out. Instead, she turns to Riley with a sigh, pulling one of her legs underneath her.

"So, what exactly are you trying to tell me Riles?"

"Look, I'm not trying to tell you how to feel," Riley says, giving her a small apologetic smile. "I promise. I guess what I _am_ trying to say is…"

Riley eyes find the ceiling as she searches the space above her head for the right words.

"It's like—have you ever held onto something from when you were a kid?"

Thoughts of her childhood belongings collecting dust in some box, tucked away in the small storage space in her building fill her mind as she shakes her head.

"Not really," she says, her brow furrowing a little, not sure where Riley's going with this.

"Well, remember how I was with Barry?" Riley asks, her eyes once again connecting with Maya's before turning her attention back to the space in front of her. "I loved that stupid bear. Even after Auggie bit his face off and he was old and falling apart I still couldn't bring myself to get rid of him."

A fond smile forms on her lips as she continues to stare ahead.

"I know you never understood why I kept Barry for so long," she continues, shaking away the smile. "but a lot of it had to do with the way having him made me feel. I know it sounds silly but it was like I could pretend I was still a kid, you know, when things were safe and simple. If I'm being honest, though, I knew that I had outgrown Barry a lot sooner than everybody thinks I did."

Riley's voice sounds far away as she seems caught up in some distant memory. When she pulls herself out of it, a sad, knowing smile pulls at her lips.

"I guess what I'm saying is that sometimes it can be really hard to let go of the things you used to love."

Something wistful shines behind Riley's eyes after that and Maya isn't sure how to respond so she settles for taking Riley's hand in hers. As a moment of stillness passes between them, she tries to understand just what Riley meant in telling her this. Was Riley trying to hint that she's outgrown her feelings for Josh? Was she saying that it's time for her to let go?

Doubts that she's sure weren't there before bombard her mind, and as her and Riley sit there quietly, both lost in their own thoughts, Maya does her best to push them aside. Because she does like Josh…doesn't she?

"Hey."

A voice breaks through the silence and both her and Riley look up to see Lucas standing behind them, gym bag slung over his shoulder and a small umbrella tucked underneath his arm. He stares down at them, his eyes finding hers, but her mind is still spinning from trying to make sense of Riley's words so she remains quiet. Riley, though, is quick to greet him.

"Hi," Riley breathes out, the same small wistful smile lingering on her face from before, and Lucas' gaze shifts to her, his own smile warm and familiar. Everything about their exchange screams classic seventh grade Riley and Lucas and as Maya sits back silently watching them, that's when it hits her.

All of Riley's talk about outgrowing things and letting things go wasn't just about her childhood teddy bear after all. She was talking about Lucas and for some reason this realization comes down heavy on Maya's chest like a weight. She tries to convince herself that it's because she's tired of watching them do the same back and forth dance they've been stuck in since middle school, but a little voice in the back of her head screams that it's something else.

And maybe that something else is the fact that despite it being nine long months since their breakup, she still seems to be holding her breath, waiting to see if the two of them will get back together; waiting to see if things will go back to the way they were before, with her and Riley trying to ignore the fact that Lucas was once the boy they both liked and her and Lucas barely being friends.

It doesn't help that Riley still won't tell her why her and Lucas decided to break up. The only thing she will say is that they're better off as friends and after watching them slip so easily back into friendship, Maya decided to believe her.

Until now.

Because now, with Riley's words fresh in her mind and after seeing the look in Riley's eyes as she stared up at Lucas, she can't help but wonder if there's more to it than that.

"Hey, you ready?"

Lucas' voice snaps her out of her thoughts and when she looks up he's watching her, his expression reflecting the nerves she feels running wild in her stomach.

"Uh, yeah," she says, getting to her feet. Her eyes flicker to the cup of tea in her hand and she debates on whether to get it to go before setting it down on the coffee table. When she glances down at Riley still seated in the orange chair, she notices her eyes shifting between her and Lucas, her curious gaze seemingly following their every move.

"Thanks again for doing this," Riley speaks up, finally getting to her feet. "I really appreciate it."

Lucas gives her a nod, shooting her a small smile before making his way to the door.

"Of course, Riley. Glad we could help out."

Maya hums in agreement as she follows behind him reluctantly and the space she leaves between them is significant. Which only makes it awkward when Lucas pulls the door open and waits for her to go through it. She jogs a little to catch up but just as she reaches the door Riley's voice stops her.

"Oh, I almost forgot. Everybody's meeting outside the cafeteria tomorrow morning to set up. 6AM okay? Don't be late."

Both her and Lucas groan in unison but quickly stop at the sight of the frown on Riley's face.

"We'll be there Riles, okay" Maya assures her. "Bright and early."

The silence between her and Lucas is deafening as they make their way to the subway and the normal bustle of the city— the occasional horn sounding off in the distance, the muted whiz of cars passing by, the inescapable murmur of the crowd—all get swallowed up within. It almost feels as if the whole city has shrunk down to just the two of them, and despite trying to focus on picking at the chipped polish on her nails, Maya finds herself glancing over at Lucas more often than she should. Each time she finds his eyes trained on the sidewalk and the slight twitch in his jaw is the only indication that he's just as uncomfortable as she is.

When they finally step down into the subway, the station is overflowing with people and the air is dense and muggy from the countless bodies being packed into one place. Thankfully, though, their train has already stopped and people are already exiting onto the platform as her and Lucas move further into the crowd. She leads the way as they push through to a spot just outside the doors of the first car and as they wait for the rest of the people to exit, she feels Lucas move in closer, his body shielding hers from getting knocked into as the crowd pushes into them.

He seems more than comfortable pressed up against her and she wonders if he even notices how close he is. Because she does. With his hand hovering at the small of her back and his chest solid and reassuring behind her, it's hard for her to concentrate on anything else. She can't stop her mind from counting all the other0 places his body meets hers and she's so distracted by that, that she barely notices the man rushing off the train in her direction until he crashes into her.

The hit easily sends her tiny frame stumbling backwards, but Lucas is right there to catch her. His hands linger at her waist as he shoots a disapproving look in the man's direction and then he turns back to look her over.

"You okay?"

She manages a nod, her voice caught in her throat from the feel of his fingers skimming her bare skin. For a moment, they just stand there, his eyes pinning her where she is until he seems to realize just where his hands are. As soon as he does, he lets them fall away from her.

"Um, we should probably…" He nods in the direction of the train and her eyes follow, finally noticing the people moving around them to get on.

"Oh," she breathes out softly, more to herself than to him and it takes him motioning her ahead of him for her to finally move. She still feels his touch lingering on her skin as she steps forward absently and she's easily swept up in the flow of people getting on. She finds an empty spot near the door but when she looks back for Lucas, he's no longer behind her.

She stands on her tiptoes, trying to see through all the people crammed into the tiny car when Lucas' voice makes it to her ears. She follows the sound of him calling her name and finds him standing at the end of the car in front of two empty seat, his gym bag resting in one of them. He waves her over as he sits down but the moment he pulls his bag into his lap some girl in distressed jeans and a crop top a few sizes too small plops down next to him.

"Today must be my lucky day," the girl says, flipping a mass of raven curls over her shoulder, her hand coming up to rest lightly on his bicep. "I get to sit next to the cutest guy on the subway."

Lucas returns the gesture with a tight-lipped smile and Maya rolls her eyes, moving over to the pole near his seat. The metal is cool and reassuring against her palm as she tries to ignore the girl's shameless attempts at flirting, wishing more than ever that the train would just hurry up and take off already. She's so busy trying not to focus on the disaster playing out in front of her that she doesn't notice when Lucas gets to his feet.

"Here."

She looks up to see him standing in front of her, motioning to his now empty seat.

"I'm fine, Lucas," she says stubbornly, gripping the pole tighter as the train lurches forward. "The seat's all yours."

She angles her body away from him, hoping that he'll just sit back down and leave her to stand but knowing him she'll have no such luck.

"Please just sit down."

Despite his 'please' she can tell that he's not exactly asking, but his tone is gentle and it's enough for her to consider taking him up on his offer. That is until her eyes fall to his new-found friend.

The girl's heated gaze is aimed in her direction, her expression darkened by her irritation and the last thing Maya wants to do is spend the rest of her ride getting up close and personal with her. So instead, she turns her attention back out to the car.

She starts to open her mouth and insist again to Lucas that she'd rather stand when the sight of an elderly woman struggling to balance a bag of groceries on her hip while she leans against her cane stops her. Lucas seems to notice her too because it isn't long before he's dropping his gym bag at her feet and making his way over to the her.

Maya looks on as he gently guides the woman over to the seat, even opting for carrying her bag while she hobbles on her cane beside him.

"Here you go ma'am." He hands the woman her groceries once she's settled and then after receiving the woman's thanks, returns to his spot next to her.

"Guess you get to stand after all." He flashes her a small smile as he leans over to pick up his gym bag and then goes back to looking out into the car like nothing happened. She on the other hand, can't help but stare at him.

It's not like this is the first time she's seen Lucas do something completely Huckleberry-like, but for some reason witnessing this particular act of kindness sends a flutter of something warm and familiar through her ribcage. Which surprises her because it's a feeling she hasn't felt in a while and one she hoped she'd never feel again. Still, as much as she'd like to deny it, it's there as real and as tangible as her heartbeat.

She tears her eyes away from him after that, inwardly scolding herself for even feeling this way and spends the rest of the ride looking out the window, watching the walls of the subway pass by in a blur.

After two stops they get off and she follows close behind Lucas as he leads the way through the sea of people. Her hand hovers at his back, ready to grab on at the risk of being separated, which is exactly what happens when a group of skateboarders cut in between them. Lucas doesn't seem to notice their separation as she pauses to let them pass and when she runs to catch up, someone coming down the steps collides into her.

"Hey watch it jerk—"

She turns, ready to give the person another piece of her mind, but stops short when she's met with blue eyes and a familiar lopsided grin.

"Josh…"

"Well hello to you too Maya," he says, amusement dancing behind his eyes as he takes in her flustered expression.

"Uh, hi," she breathes out, running a hand through her hair. "What are you doing here?"

She stands there like an idiot, her face riddled in confusion but her bewilderment only seems to further amuse him.

"Oh, you know, just catching the subway," he teases, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth in an attempt to hide his smile. "And what about you?"

He lets a roguish grin spread across his face and like always his playful ease calms her nerves.

"Oh, well as you know," she says finally, her composure returning. "being Riley's best friend is a fulltime job." She shrugs, like this explains everything and Josh's eyebrow quirks up curiously, a smirk dancing at the corner of his mouth.

"And is babysitting a cowboy a part of your job description?"

He nods his head over her shoulder and when she follows his gaze, she catches sight of Lucas standing on the entrance steps, watching her and Josh from a comfortable distance. For a moment, their eyes meet and she thinks about waving him over but before she can he quickly looks away.

"Not exactly," she says, turning back to Josh with a sigh. "Riley's having a bake sale tomorrow and she put me and Lucas on muffin duty."

"Well you sure seem excited about that."

He's barely able to contain the amused grin forming on his lips and she rolls her eyes, resisting the urge to throw another glance Lucas' way.

"Clearly," she says, brushing her hair from her face in one frustrated move and Josh shakes his head with a laugh, watching her with a familiar fondness.

"See I was right," he says, his grin fading as he considers her more seriously. "You are the best friend anyone could ever have and Riley's lucky to have you." He pauses, taking a small step forward. "I'm pretty lucky to have someone like you in my life too."

She smiles at this, but it feels small and forced against her lips. Any other time she'd be in pure bliss at hearing Josh say something like this, but now all she feels is doubt.

"So, how have you been?" she asks lamely, trying to steer the conversation in another direction. "How are things at NYU?"

He opens his mouth to answer but before he has a chance to the screech of wheels halting against the track brings their attention behind them.

"This me," he says, motioning back towards the train pulling up to the platform. Instead of turning to leave like she expects him to, he lingers in front of her, staring at her thoughtfully.

"So, Long game?"

There's a pause as he waits for her to say it back and complete what's become their little ritual, but Riley's words and her growing doubts about her feelings are the only things echoing in her head.

"Uh, yeah," she finally manages to say and if he notices her hesitation he doesn't show it. Instead, his mouth quirks up slightly as he carefully brushes her hair over her shoulder, his hand coming to rest in its place.

"See ya around Maya." His hand falls away as he turns to leave but as he moves toward the train something in her tells her to stop him.

"Josh wait."

He turns back, his eyes meeting hers expectantly.

"I don't know if you're busy next Tuesday but a few of my paintings are going to be shown in an exhibit at the MOMA and I was wondering, you know, if you wanted t—"

"I'd love to," he says, stopping her from rambling, his face spreading into a grin. "I wouldn't miss it."

She returns his words with a smile and for a moment they stand there smiling at each other like a couple of idiots while something warm spreads through her. It's not the typical flutter of butterflies but it's enough and for now it puts her earlier doubts about her feelings to rest.

"It was good seeing you Maya," he says finally, backing away toward the train. "See ya soon."

"See ya Josh," she answers back softly.

She watches him a second longer, but doesn't wait for him to reach the train before she turns to look for Lucas but when her eyes move to the spot on the stairs where she'd last seen him, she find an empty step instead.

She immediately scans the crowd in hopes that she just missed him somehow but as she nears the subway's exit and still hasn't found him, her heart sinks.

 _Did he seriously leave without her?_

She tries to shake away the thought because she can't imagine Lucas ever doing that to her. So, with renewed determination she ascends the steps, by-passing the people heading down into the subway as she calls out his name.

"Lucas!"

Her voice gets lost in the congested street as she steps out into the fog of the city and the thought of having to search for him in the crowd overwhelms her. People come and go and she tries to continue her search through the chaos, but she can barely see over the people as she makes her way down the sidewalk.

"Lucas, I swear when I find you you're dead," she mutters to herself, heading back the way she came.

As a last resort, she decides to head back down into the subway, but then she notices Lucas leaning against the railing of the subway's entrance. Relief washes over her for just a moment, but as she pushes through the crowd to get to him, her earlier irritation takes over. By the time she reaches him she's even madder than before.

"What the hell Lucas," she says, sending the back of her hand into his bicep. "Why'd you ditch me?"

He straightens up against the railing, caught off guard by her sudden assault, but quickly regains his composure as his eyes come up to meet hers.

"I didn't ditch you," he says, rubbing at his arm. "I've been waiting right here the whole time."

"Oh really? Then how come I've been searching for you for the last ten minutes? And how come I didn't see you when I came out of the subway?"

He responds with a shrug and she gapes at him in disbelief, fuming that he can be so nonchalant in the face of her frustration.

"Look Maya, I'm sorry okay?" he says, looking past her to the people passing by on the sidewalk. "Now can we please just go? We have a lot to do and it's already after 6."

He doesn't wait for her to answer and starts to walk away, probably expecting her to follow, but she doesn't let him get far before grabbing him by the wrist and pulling him back to her.

"Seriously, what is going on with you?" she blurts out, too annoyed to care about how the words sound leaving her mouth. After weeks of weird behavior and tip toe around each other, she's a little surprised that this is what finally pushes her over the edge. Normally, she has a pretty thick skin when it comes to overlooking any awkwardness between her and Lucas, but in this moment, she can't take another second of it. So, when she's met with a blank stare and a furrowed brow like he has no idea what she's talking about, she has to swallow down the groan bubbling up in the back of her throat.

"Maya," he starts with a sigh, awkwardly adjusting the strap of his gym bag. "Nothing's going on with me."

His denial is halfhearted and dismissive and as he avoids her eyes her anger deflates into defeat.

"You know what? Forget it," she says, throwing her hands up in surrender. "If you don't want to tell me why you've been acting so weird lately that's fine. Let's just go and get this whole baking thing over with."

This time she's the one to turn and walk away, not caring whether he follows and honestly contemplating turning back and catching the next train home, but she only makes it a few steps before she hears the drum of his boots against the pavement behind her and feels his hand wrap around hers.

"Maya, wait."

She stops with her back to him, her hand hanging from his and as much as she wants to pull away she just can't bring herself to do it. Instead, she turns back to him and it isn't until she's facing him completely that she feels his hand slip from hers, his arm falling limply at his side.

"I don't know what you want me to say," he says, rubbing at the back of his neck as his eyes find their way to the ground.

"How about the truth?"

Her voice is kinder this time, no longer wanting to push him and as his eyes come up from studying the sidewalk, she can see an internal struggle playing out across his face.

"The truth…" He runs his hands down the strap of his bag, struggling to find the words. "The truth is…lately I've been trying to give you some space."

She waits for him to explain further but when he simply stares back at her, her forehead wrinkles in confusion. All this time she had thought that he was the one who wanted space from her. It never crossed her mind that he could be thinking the same thing.

"What would make you think that I'd want that?" she asks softly and when he shrugs in response, struggling to hold her gaze an uneasiness expands in her chest like a balloon.

"I don't know. After our talk about you and Josh and the long game I thought it was a good idea."

Her head tilts in confusion, her brow creasing even further.

"I don't understand. What does Josh have to do with this?"

"Nothing," he answers back, the word stumbling from his mouth a little too quickly to believable. "This is about me and…and how I feel about…"

He trails off, shaking his head like he doesn't know what to say and watching him struggle fills her with a different kind of unease. Maybe it's the slight blush creeping its way up his neck or the fear she suddenly feels at hearing him finish his confession, but whatever it is, it overwhelms her with the urge to drop this whole thing.

"Look Lucas," she says, holding her hand up when it looks like he might try and say something else. "You're one of my best friends and _nothing_ could ever change that, okay?"

To emphasize her point, she steps closer to him, her hand coming to rest on his forearm as she lets her words settle in the air between them. The gesture doesn't go unnoticed as Lucas' eyes fall to her hand, and he stares at it for a long time before giving her a nod.

"Okay," he says, his eyes remaining fixed on his arm long after she pulls her hand back to her side. When he finally brings his eyes up to meet hers, the flicker of disappointment she sees in them catches her off guard. If anything, she expects him to be relieved at being let off the hook, but instead his gaze feels heavy with unsaid words. After a while he clears his throat, turning away from her and back toward the sidewalk.

"Maybe we should get going?"

She nods, even though he can't see her.

"Yeah, sure."

They set off down the sidewalk, walking close enough that their hands brush against each other and this time the silence between them is only slightly as tense as it was before. They continue to walk but after a while, she decides to break the silence.

"I hope you know," she starts, trying to keep her tone light. "if you were trying to get rid of me, you'll have to try a lot harder than that. Hate to break it to you Huckleberry, but I'm not going anywhere anytime soon."

She shoots him a side-ways glance as they round a corner to see a soft smile pulling at the corners of his mouth.

"Wouldn't dream of it, Shortstack."


	19. Chapter 19

The rest of their walk to Lucas' apartment is filled with easy conversation and an old familiarity that Maya hasn't felt in a while. She listens contentedly as Lucas fills her in on all the things she's missed in the last couple of weeks; swatting him lightly on the chest when he tells her about his new position as starting pitcher for the baseball team, and teasing him mercilessly after hearing about the mishap in Chemistry that nearly lost him his eyebrows.

It all feels natural and right and completely _them,_ but it's not enough to keep her mind from wandering back to their earlier conversation. Hearing Lucas' reasons for why he's been so distant lately has left her with even more questions than she had before, and it only adds to that tiny, nagging part of her telling her that not everything is alright between them.

The closer they get to the apartment, the further Maya's doubt creeps into her brain and by the time they step through the door and settle into the kitchen, the only thing she's certain of is that there's still something he isn't telling her.

"So, how many of these things do we have to make again?" she asks, shaking off her previous thoughts as she studies the recipe lying on the island countertop.

"About a hundred."

Her eyes shoot up from Mrs. Friar's neat, rounded handwriting to look at Lucas.

"Seriously?" she groans. "It's going to take forever to do that many."

"Mhm," he hums lightly, his lips twitching upward as he pulls the last few ingredients out from the pantry. "So, we should probably get started don't ya think?"

He turns to face her, completely unfazed by her attitude and the daunting task ahead of them as Maya watches him through narrowed eyes. He seems a little too cheery for someone who's about to spend their night baking, but she brushes the thought aside, letting out a heavy sigh as she hops from the stool and moves around the counter to join him.

"Fine, let's get to it Huckleberry."

She hands him the measuring cup set out in front of her and pushes the bags of flour and sugar and the canister of organic oats in his direction. He tips her his imaginary hat with a small grin playing at his lips before he starts measuring things out into a large bowl. Beside him, Maya gets started on combining the milk, eggs, and oil into a bowl of her own.

"Now it says that we have to combine the dry and wet ingredients together," she says, peeking up from the recipe. "Do you guys have a mixer?"

"Yeah, but we don't need it. My mama always just mixes it by hand."

Maya's eyes sweep over the two bowls, each nearly filled to the brim with ingredients and the thought of how much physical effort she'd need to completely combine everything together leaves her inwardly cringing.

"That sounds like a lot of work," she says, scrunching up her nose. "Let's just use the mixer. It'll be easier and a whole lot faster."

"I don't know Maya," he says, his eyes falling on his mom's recipe. "I think we should stick to the way my mama does it."

She rolls her eyes, moving over to the cabinets, determined to find the mixer herself.

"Must you follow _all_ the rules, _all_ the time," she says, shaking her head in mock disappointment. "I promise you the world won't come to an end if you don't."

Lucas opens his mouth to disagree, but Maya stops him with a wave of her hand as she continues to search the cabinet in front of her.

"Come on, Ranger Rick we don't have time for this, so where is it?"

Probably realizing there's no use in arguing with her, Lucas walks over to a cabinet above the sink and brings down a box with mixer in it.

"The attachments are in that drawer in front of you," he says, nodding his head in her direction.

Maya wastes no time in grabbing them from the drawer before taking the handheld mixer from its box and going about setting it up. She can feel Lucas watching her, but ignores his judgmental gaze as she carefully dumps the wet ingredients into the dry and lowers the mixer down into the bowl.

She shoots Lucas a look that says, _watch and learn_ before flipping the power switch up. Unfortunately for her, the speed on the mixer must have been turned up too high because as soon as the beaters begin to spin, a combination of flour, eggs, and milk fly everywhere. Maya rushes to turn it off but by the time she does, she's covered in the eggy mixture.

"Don't say a word," she warns, snatching a few paper towels from the roll as Lucas erupts into laughter beside her. She turns to face him with a glare as she cleans herself off, but her frown does nothing to shut him up.

"Oh, so you think this is funny?" she asks, eyeing him as she tries to unsuccessfully dust flour from her hair.

He holds his hands up in mock surrender at the annoyed look she shoots his way, but his expression all but says, _I told you so_ and all she wants to do is wipe that stupid smile off his face.

"Well, you wanna know what I think it funny?" she says, flashing him a sickeningly sweet smile as she wipes the last bit of egg from her chin.

"Sure," he says, amusement dancing in his tone and all over his face. "What's funny?"

Instead of replying with words, she turns back to the bowl, dropping her hand into the poorly mixed batter and flinging a handful of it his way. It splatters across his cheek and above his eye, but mostly on his shirt. The smug look on his face instantly falls away and it's Maya's turn to erupt into laughter.

"Aw come on Maya, this is one of my favorite shirts."

He steps back to assess the damage as batter drips down the front of his shirt and he lets out a somewhat exasperated sigh.

"That's your favorite shirt?" she asks, her voice lilting playfully. "Don't you have like twenty blue shirts just like it in your closet?"

"Very funny," he deadpans. "But I'm serious." He looks back down at his shirt, hands hovering above it helplessly.

"Okay, okay don't get your panties in a bunch, Ranger Rick," she says, moving over to the sink to grab the dish towel hanging over the faucet. "A little batter never hurt anybody."

She takes him by the collar, pulling him over to her a lot gentler than she normally would and despite his previous grumbling he steps forward without any protest.

"Let's see what we can do about this stain, Huckleberry."

As she starts to dab at his shirt with the towel, he along with everything else around them, instantly goes still. The only movement is the steady rise and fall of his chest, and the only sound the soft inhale and exhale of his breathing. She tries to ignore the small flutter in her stomach at the way his breath blows warm and gentle against her face and it isn't until she glances up at him, seafoam green crashing into her, that she realizes just how close they are.

"You have a little…"

Her voice is barely above a whisper as she brings the towel up to his face, her eyes flitting to the batter on his cheek. She goes to wipe it away but makes the mistake of meeting his eyes again and this time she can't bring herself to look away. Neither of them move as her hand remains frozen against his cheek, the other resting on his chest as his heart pounds hard and fast against her palm.

 _Move._

 _Move._

 _Please move!_

The tiny voice in the back of her head practically screams at her, but it isn't loud enough, and she isn't strong enough to fight the mysterious force that pulls her forward as the space between them steadily disappears. Their faces come within inches of each other, but the feel of Lucas' hand coming up to rest on the small of her back breaks the spell she's under.

"Um I think you can probably handle it from here," she says, her voice not nearly as steady as she'd like as she pushes the towel into his hand and pulls herself away from him.

"Uh…yeah…" He blinks, shaking his head a little as he takes his own step back. "I'll just go and change my shirt."

He turns away and walks out of the kitchen before she can say anything else, and she watches in a daze as he disappears into his room.

When his door closes behind him she sinks down to one of the stools lining the island countertop, releasing a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. The thought of what would have happened if she hadn't pulled away is enough to send a flush to her cheeks and a longing pulsing through her, making her feel even guiltier than she already does.

Because she _shouldn't_ be feeling this way. The many reasons why zip through her head, but the one that flashes like a big red warning sign is Riley. She shouldn't be thinking about her best friend's ex-boyfriend like this, especially when Riley might still have feelings for him.

Her head drops to her hands and a groan escapes her as an all too familiar disaster plays out behind her eyelids. If she wasn't careful, her history would be repeating itself in the worse way possible. The sound of Lucas' door creaking open causes her to pull her head up from her hands and she hurries to make herself look busy.

She starts cleaning up the remaining batter and can feel his presence before she sees him, but she tries to ignore that familiar and unwanted flutter in the pit of her stomach. She sneaks a glance at him, but he's doing his best to avoid her gaze as he enters the kitchen, sporting a fresh blue t-shirt very similar to the one he just had on.

"Did you seriously just go back there and change into the same blue shirt," she asks playfully, trying to ease the tension threatening to take over the tiny kitchen. "I guess I know what I'm getting you next Christmas. Any shirt that isn't blue."

He meets her eyes for a moment and his expression is unreadable before a small smile tugs at the corners of mouth.

"It's a different shirt Maya."

"You sure?" she asks, feigning confusion. "Because it looks like the exact same shirt."

Lucas shakes his head, his low chuckle rumbling through her and melting away the tension from earlier.

"Maybe we should get back to it," he says, throwing his thumb back toward the counter and the various bowls, utensils, and ingredients lining it.

"Sure."

She gives him a small smile and follows him to the counter, letting him take the lead in getting the two of them back on track. Somehow, they manage to save their first batter and end up getting the first batch of muffins into the oven with surprisingly little effort. By the time they start on making their second batter, the tension from before is completely gone and Maya is mostly relieved, despite the guilt still sitting heavy on her chest and the flutter still settled deep in her stomach. No matter how hard she tries, she just can't seem to shake either feeling.

The oven timer going off is what finally pulls her out of her thoughts, but when she moves to take the muffins out, Lucas beats her to it, waving her off with an "I've got it." She stands back, trying to bite back a smile as she watches him carefully removing the muffins with two rooster shaped oven mitts covering his hands.

"Only 88 more to go," he says, as he sets the tin off to the side to cool. She hums in answer, still a little caught up in her own head as she fills the other tin with muffin liners. It's quiet as she steps away from the tin to grab the bowl of blueberries Lucas had rinsed off.

"Uh Maya…are you okay?"

His voice is laced with caution and when she lifts her gaze to meet his, she finds that he's already looking at her.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just thinking," she says, letting her eyes fall back to the blueberries as she dumps them into the batter. "I was actually wondering…do you have a date to the Spring Formal, yet?

She peeks up at him long enough to see something flash across his face before he gives a quick shake of his head.

"No. I thought we were all going as a group."

"I mean yeah, but since Farkle is obviously taking Smackle as his date and I told Zay that I'd go with him, I was thinking that maybe you could ask Riley?"

She throws her suggestion at him lightly, but can't seem to bring herself to look at him. She's too afraid of what she'll see when he answers her. Instead, she stares down into the bowl, focusing on folding the blueberries into the batter.

"You and Zay are going together?" he finally asks, after being quiet for so long.

If she didn't know any better, she would think that she had heard disappointment in his voice. For some reason, this settles the ball of nerves knotting in her stomach and she finally brings her eyes up from the bowl to look at him.

"Yeah, he asked me last week," she says, her brows furrowing at his question. "But I think you're missing the point Huckleberry. The point is that Riley—our Riley—the one who's working so hard to make this dance happen doesn't have a date. So, the question is, can I count on you Mr. Moral Compass to ask her or not?"

She watches him carefully and there's another long stretch of silence as he stares back at her for a moment before giving her a stiff nod in response.

"Sure, Maya. If that's what you want, then I'll ask her."

"Thank you," she says, giving him a sincere smile.

He ignores it as he moves over to take the bowl from in front of her, the tight line his mouth sets into not going unnoticed. He starts pouring batter into the muffin tin without another word and lets a silence fall over the small kitchen and the tension Maya had been working so hard to move past returns. She doesn't know what to make of his less than thrilled reaction. It's not like this is the first time she's pushed Lucas in Riley's direction and although it always involved some pushback from him, she never remembers it feeling like this.

A part of her wants to apologize, even though she isn't exactly sure for what, but she doesn't want to make things anymore awkward than they already are, so she keeps her mouth shut. They continue to work in silence for a while with Lucas placing the new batch of muffins into the oven and Maya setting the cooled muffins off to the side. Just when she is starting to think that the rest of the night will continue in heavy awkward silence, Lucas breaks it unexpectedly.

"So, I guess I shouldn't be surprised that you and Zay are going together," he says, trying and failing to sound casual. "I'm sure you guys will have fun."

His words and his tone remind her of Riley's during their conversation at Topanga's and she has to reign in the annoyed sigh threatening to leave her lips.

"And what do you mean by that?" she asks, trying to keep her frustration out of her voice, but failing to keep it from seeping through. "You know what don't answer that. I don't know why it's such a big deal to you and Riley that I like hanging out with Zay. How many times do I have to say that we're just friends before you guys believe me?"

"I believe you," he says with a sigh, giving her an apologetic look. "I know there's nothing going on between you two."

Maya rolls her eyes.

"Do you? Because this is the second time I've had to defend me and Zay's friendship to you."

"I know and I'm sorry," he says quickly. "I know you guys are just friends and I promise you won't have to say it again. Besides, I know that you like Josh and Zay would never do that to m—"

Lucas is quick to cut himself short and his eyes widen as he stares at her like a deer caught in the headlights. Her curious expression seems to snap him out of it and he instantly drops his eyes to the counter.

"Zay wouldn't do what?"

Lucas clears his throat with a cough, still refusing to look at her.

"It's nothing," he says, softly. "Don't worry about it." He peeks up at her for a second and when he sees that she's about to say something he beats her to it. "Um can you pass the butter?"

He goes back to measuring out ingredients while purposely ignoring Maya's eyes and she watches him, trying to figure out what exactly just happened. The only thing she can wrap her head around right now is the fact that his odd behavior is adding to the questions and the doubt she's been feeling lately. All she wants to know is what he's keeping from her, but she doesn't want to push him on it just yet. Instead, she studies him a little longer before letting out a small sigh and moving over to the fridge to take out the butter.

"Here you go." She sets the butter down in front of him and hurries off to do something productive. After a while, they settle into a steady pace and a mostly comfortable silence as they complete batch after batch of muffins. By the time the last batch goes into the oven it's way past two in the morning and both are delirious from a lack of sleep. Maya drags herself into the living room and collapses on the Friar's couch, leaning against the arm rest to help prop herself up. She closes her eyes for a moment to rest them and doesn't bother opening them when she feels the cushion sink down beside her or feels the heat radiating off of Lucas' body so close to hers that they might as well be touching.

"Since you're staying over, you can take my bed. I'll take the couch," he says, softly. It's the first words that he's spoken to her in a while and she's relieved to hear the strain from earlier no longer there.

"Nah, it's cool. I don't mind sleeping here," she says, through a yawn. "I'm not kicking you out of your room."

"And I'm not letting you sleep out here on the couch," he says firmly. She opens an eye to peek over at him and he's already looking at her, his jaw set in determination. Maya shakes her head at the sight.

"Why do you have to be so stubborn?" she asks, sitting up a little and turning her body to face him, their knees knocking into each other.

"Why do you?" he fires back, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

"Touché." She laughs softly, throwing her arms up in surrender. "How about we decide who's sleeping where after the last muffins are done?"

His smile grows wider as he nods.

"I can do that."

Satisfied with his answer, she settles back into the couch, closing her eyes once again. It isn't long before Lucas follows her lead, but when he settles back he's even closer to her than before. Although, she probably should, she doesn't mind being this close to him and finds herself moving in a little closer. Almost everything about this feels right to her and it's enough to ignore the small part of it that doesn't. At least for now.


End file.
